FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination
| FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Lily 2008-04-07 ch 1, anon. | abuseAdd more that was good, so please add more. |
| Yemi Hikari 2008-02-04 ch 1,  | abuseIt is a good start ... though it seems that it may be more of your own fiction then to have anything to do with Boxcar Children. If that is so, post this on the sister site to this site. However, if this is supposed to be about Violet and your imagining yourself from Violet's point of view, she has three other siblings and their parents died in the first book. They live with their grandfather now. Which is why I think that this is your own fiction, not a Boxcar Mystery Fanfic. The only thing that so far is related to the Boxcar Children is the name Violet, which is mentioned only in the summary and the genere, mystery. While this is a good start, here are a few suggestions. One is to write this not from the perspective that you yourself are the character, but that you are seeing it like one sees in the Boxcar Children Books. Second, use more discription. For each sentence you have here, turn it into a paragraph. Expand on it. Even if this is not a fanfic, but your own fiction, do this. Currently, as good as the story line is, it is still in rough draft form. Third thing, have some one check your sentence flow. Possibly someone who has had more experience with writing. They may be able to help you extend this some more. |
| Maggie 2008-02-02 ch 1, anon. | abusePLease continue. but why did you kill the mom? |
| lauren 2008-01-31 ch 1, anon. | abuseweirdo. that is a strange chapter. |
| liz 2008-01-23 ch 1, anon. | abusei luv this chapter. cant wait tell the next chapter. i wonder what happens. i hope the strang women doesnt kill the girl. |