superbly written!

I think you work the canon very well.

You work a flashback chronologically, which is always smart, and you keep your focus neatly. I like that you use an overall conversational tone, as it makes for an interesting narrator, although the use of second person did somewhat strike me as odd.

I also think that the concept of the curse being the last bit of Jadis' power is a nice one, and Edmund's willingness to fight that is a fine point of characterization.

This is all summary, however. As my writing prof would say, it's all scene and no story. Edmund does not change in this story - and he can change only a fraction to make it a story; sometimes those are the best of all, when a character changes only marginally.

I also wish you would do more with the concept of the curse. Delve further into Edmund's thoughts. Tell us how he feels about this curse, and show us how he's arrived at this conclusion about Jadis. Get into his mind about everything, and you'll have a hot piece on your hands.

Right now, it looks like the good bare bones of a piece. Add some introspection and a change for Edmund, somewhere for him to go, ultimately, and I think you've got it.

Lovely narration, by the way. Love it when authors aren't afraid to stick their necks out and do pieces laden with it. :)

Good work!

Keep writing.

Very original idea, having Edmund being "cursed" so to speak. I like it. Written very well, nice style and flow. The closing paragraph was very good.

*claps* Good job!

Interesting story. I wouldn't mind seeing it a bit elaborated but I don't think the cur lenght is detrimental to it in any way. By the way - do I sense an inspiration by certain other Inkling? Oh, and it may be just my impresion but change of tense in the last paragraph threw me a bit off at first because of the difference from the first paragraph. But it might be just me. And speaking of the last paragraph - exellent and well written conclusion to the story. Good work.

very good fic

I like the style for the length of the fic. Its short but really good and I feel like your narrating it to me. While this is ideal for shorter fics, be careful doing this on the larger ones. Either way, I enjoyed it and thought it was really incitful. its going up on my favs.

I like this because you've presented a new twist on an old theme. The style is intriguing - it's as if it's told by a story teller that knows Edmund intimately or Edmund himself is telling it later in life. I thoroughly enjoyed the idea and the presntation. Well done! I hope you have more for us!

Story/Characters: 6.75/10. I'm not sure how I feel about you spending half the story telling the audience things that they already know, but it is a nice concept, though I've seen it in other fics. Edmund seems moderately in character, but I would like to see more nuanced reflection in a fic of this type.

Creativity: 6/10. I have seen similar things done in other fics, though never a oneshot solely about this.

Writing: 7.75/10. You write fairly well, with few mistakes, though I think that the style you are attempting doesn't always come off.

Believability: 7.75/10. I probably would have given Ed a little more doubt, played with him some more, but the premise is basically believable.

Overall: 7/10. IMO, it's a little overly happy for a fic with this subject, but you still do fairly well with this.

Wow,this is very good. What can I say? This is really, but I would change sibling to siblings.

My favorite part is
"Looking back Edmund doesn’t mind it- the scar or the pain. He wouldn’t have done it any differently if he had gotten the chance to change it. He saved his brother and he had saved Narnia. Narnia was safe and that was all that mattered. And if he had to bear this curse forever, he could do it. If anything it was a constant reminder on what he used to be like and how he could never let himself be like that ever again."

I really liked this, it's very original. I like the idea of Edmund having a 'cursed' scar. The image of Jadis' magic reaching out to the cold is so interesting. Very well done.