whoa it's been a long time... please don't make me wait another year and update soon)

I liked the premise of the story but that was back in the beginning when i thought oh i don know there would be some character development, plot, action and stuff. stuff happens, but it is essentially an odd, unrealistic melodrama strung together by scenes of elle being a sadist and claire a masochist. i don know much abt s&m, but elle seems a bit extra, always. it's seems as if you want to keep them in character as s&m ppl more so than as there actual heroes characters... b/c of this as a reader i can only wonder how this ends. it's too crazy unrealistic for claire to just take this lying down. her token acceptance needs to move one way or the other and progress from there as the story progresses. what abt peter? what abt elle? she feel sorry enough to not cut up claire, but other than that she is somewhat conflicted as she manipulates claire into staying with her. she does not need to 360, be occ nice but even occ, s&m loving claire wont stay with her if she does not show some genuine caring other than not raping her...

the writing is very good and engagin generally, and the story premise wAS initially somewhat plausible and interesting and there are lots of inadvertenely funny moments, but ultimately you have been driving w/o a roadmap and it shows

I'm rather surprised that I actually read to the end (of what's been written so far). Not because there's anything wrong with your writing, but just because it is, by nature, a rather disturbing story.

It's slightly sickening yet strangely fascinating. I recently read Nabokov's "Lolita" for the first time, and I find it's very easy to compare it to this. Like the (in)famous Humbert Humbert, your Elle is utterly disturbing, yet strangely sympathetic. Elle isn't quite at sympathetic as HH, but she's at least likable. Some of the time. Actually, the situation is almost reversed. With Lolita, I found myself (completely against my expectations) wishing Lolita would return HH's feelings, though it was mostly so he'd stop angsting about it. With this, I find myself wishing Elle would return Claire's feelings, and build a healthy relationship.(If you haven't read/seen Lolita, I apologize for making incomprehensible references. Though I think all you'd need is basic knowledge of the plot to understand them...
Anyway, what I meant to say in a nutshell: what I liked about Lolita was how it made me warm up to Humbert Humbert, a man who, written in any other way, would've only earned my scorn. I think you've done the same thing with Elle here. Congratulations, I've just compared your story to a book that's been praised as one of the best novels ever. I have no idea whether there's any actual value in that, so I guess I'll leave it up to you.
I look forward to seeing how this story will end. Once it's over my curiosity will be satisfied and I can hopefully refrain from reading anything so disturbing for a great deal of time. I do hope you don't misunderstand my review to mean that I haven't enjoyed your writing- I've never written a review quite like this, so I have no idea how to go about it. From what I've seen I think you're a very skilled writer, and I will definitely have to investigate your other works some time.

I feel like this review is either too long, doesn't say anything of particular importance, or both. Whatever the case, I'm ending it here. (I'm way too exhausted to be writing anything that requires this much thought. If it makes no sense, please don't blame me.) Anyway, thanks for sharing.

Claire got on my nerves this chapter. I don't like how she randomly attacked Elle.
But I loooove this story, please update soon!

I hope that you do decide to stick with and finish this, as it's been quite an interesting journey so far. I think that you've made the relationship the main character in the story, and while I get why you're feeling a bit squicked I do believe that there's still a story to be told here you've almost laid the groundwork for an eventual redemption of Elle, without her losing her main character traits, which is an unusual approach to take and one I'd like to see more of.

Ohhh, how i want to kick Elle in the nuts.

Oh wow I am addicted to this story you need to update like right now please and send Elle and Claire.

Great story. Please continue it.

wow this was really good! i cant wait to read more! keep up the good work!

I didn't read this chapter. Just skimmed it to see if things had improved a bit... maybe Peter had shown up and Claire had started acting right or something. But no. Yeah, I was bummed Heroes got canceled too.

What the heck? Gratuitous Nissan product placement FTW!

I don't understand why Peter didn't teleport them both to somewhere safe, if he had teleportation. Wouldn't that be less energy than maintaining a shield and flying? Well, it's late and I'm not into the story, so... thanks for writing it, but I'm bugging out.

Um... I really, really don't understand Peter being on board with the eating-Claire bit. I kept thinking it was some sort of ploy and that then in the middle of the ploy Claire started enjoying it or something...

Actually, I don't get why Claire would dig this either. Since Elle can't kill her, all she has to do is refuse to play and that's that.

I don't know. I just don't get it.

You're... asking for advice... from lesbians and sadists...?

What you should be asking for advice from is sociopaths, a category which has no correlation with either category.

In any case, I think you're having Elle move ridiculously fast, but that's a common thing in fanfic (and TV shows). I also don't think Elle would be so stupid as to actually think Claire liked this stuff. Sociopaths are often very intelligent and put a lot of effort into long-ranging plans.

Hahah. Sociopath are pretty much defined by their inability to experience what people think of as emotions. Instead they have rationalizations and are entirely self-absorbed. You have excellently captured why I never liked Elle as a character.

Sick Elle is sick.

But since your other Heroes works were so good, I'll read on.