|Reviews for Watching Them|
| Fan Fan Girl 1/5/08 . chapter 1
Here's to hoping that this review doesn't get eaten. _'
First of all, thanks for the dedication, and it WAS interesting to see something different. Though it's still Kent/Lyn... Heh... Nothing wrong with that, if it floats your boat, but to tell you the truth I'm not a big fan of the pairing.
Wait, Manna, I didn't mean it! I love Kent/Lyn! Don't die on me now!
...Anyways. I actually liked this. Though I would have liked to hear more about Hausen opinions on the two individuals and the couple they'd make, rather than just his observations of Kent and Lyn's feelings. It seemed a little detached for Hausen... I mean, you'd think he'd be a little bit more protective of his granddaughter. Rather than looking on, wouldn't he actively assess Kent's good points and bad points and general reliability? I don't think he would want a repeat of the Madelyn/Hassar incident, so he would be more critical of Kent and Lyn's romance.
Which reminds me. I also would have liked to hear more of his thoughts on Madelyn and Hassar's relationship. How can he look at the unfolding romance of his granddaughter without looking back on that of his daughter?
Ah well... Despite my usual whinings, I did like this. It was quiet, calm, and very nice. :3 I like your sentences. I always have. Good work!
| Edward Houshi 12/31/07 . chapter 1
It was interesting to read in first person POV, but I didn't like it as much as your other stories.
| FireEdge 12/27/07 . chapter 1
I have determined that video games are the archnemesis of fanfictions... I can only do one at a time, and video games are winning. _ So now, I have another backlog of fanfictions to read... and write O_O.
Anywho, I found this little ficlet very entertaining. I don't think there's ever been a story like this one, and it's interesting to see Kent and Lyn's relationship from Hausen's point of view. Kent's reactions made me laugh, too. If he got turned into a little fluffy kitten I'd poke him and harrass him all day. ) Which is one of those guilty pleasures, you know? Totally not sadistic. Still, kudos to you for coming up with different sorts of stories that people don't see everyday!
| Writer Awakened 12/24/07 . chapter 1
For not having written first-person in a while (and present tense, no less!), you did a good job. :D The tone is very gentle, very soft, very affectionate, which is what I think you were going for. Just a few little (nitpicky) things I want to point out:
"But you wish that she was" - Since this phrase describes a possibility (a wish, as it were), you would use "...she were" instead of "she was"
I would have liked to have seen a little bit more focus on Hassar and Madelyn, especially since their relationship seems to resemble Lyn and Kent's somewhat.
Also, you're starting to become to Kent/Lyn what Pureauthor is to Franz/Amelia. You really like the Kent/Lyn pairing, don't you? :P
Anyway, good job. I hope this helps!