"God, I sound like a chick.” He muttered angrily at himself. He turned away from the mirror, shaking his head. i love that.

no grammer mistakes...um you could add more description between paragraphs...just to let the emotions flow and stuff... a "Connect to the reader better" thing...

*happiness* i really liked this. and the last phrase that was also a part of the song made my heart feel fluffy. :D

GOOD JOB!