I hope you do continue with this story. I really enjoy reading it.

hey, you're writing has really improved! good job. Drones! they's back! that makes me happy. wow, he is just like his dad...

hm...Vert's acting like Tezla...and Markie and Mark are bonding...

dude! that last part with Shirako listenin' to his music was awesome! small things like that amuse me greatly. okay, the conversation with Wylde was a little confusing. and i don't understand why everyone was mad at him...that little flashback was cute.

awesome! these last two chapters were awesome! excellent job! keep it up! this story is great!

okay...doin' good. though, your conversations are a little stiff, try to make a little more natural. and, is someone gonna work on Zero's anger problem? lol! he sorta reminds me of Vert and Markie combined. anywho...keep it up. the more experience, the better you get at writing...trust me on that.

wow this story is so awesome. it' so exciting!

wow! this story is really really good! i luve it. it's really exciting! i hope you continue soon. it's really really cool!

hm...took me a while to take the time to read this. good story line. just a few problems.

-you may want to consider starting a new paragraph for every new person in a conversation..
(example)
"Hey," Bob said.

"'sup." Joe answered.

Excuse the poor conversation...Bob and Joe don't talk much...just when i need them to...

-you need to flesh it out a bit more. it kinda goes really fast.

-the characters kind of need more description. all i caught was that Zero was the leadr, Crystal had blue hair, and it seemed like Chris was the mechanic.

so, other than those few things, it was pretty good. the conversation thing should make the story more...attractive. it's harder to read when it's all in one paragraph.