Reviews for 28 Weeks Later Alternate Ending

Reviews For: 28 Weeks Later Alternate Ending - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

Sakura123 2008-05-22 ch 6,	abuseVery awesome. I hated it when Doyle and Scarlett died in the movie (so wrong). I loved how you didn't make any empathesis on their "romance" until the near end of the story; The characterizations were excellent and most of all, the scare factor in this was quite high. Adios! Sakura123
RaC3u4ph0 2008-03-22 ch 6,	abuseThis is absolutly a great story man, I just watched 28 Weeks Later and couldn't help but think about what had happened if Scarlett and Doyle did survive. This story is pretty well put. Thanks for the great fanfic!
july 2008-03-09 ch 1, anon.	abuseI also wanted to thank you for writing a Doyle/Scarlet story! I´m sure there are many Doyle/Scarlet fans outside ... I hope there will be more storys about the pairing, because I love that couple.
quidditch-star-16 2008-03-08 ch 6,	abuseFor starters I wanted to thank you for writing a Doyle/Scarlet pairing, I love them and I was thoroughly ** when they killed Doyle in the movie. It was a good read, some spelling and grammatical errors, but no one's perfect. Great job though, I'm looking forward to what you have in store next.
abbs 2008-02-26 ch 1, anon.	abuseGreat chapter!! I hope you will write more about Doyle/Scarlet!?
Jan Lee 2008-02-25 ch 3,	abuseInteresting chapter. Everything I mentioned in my previous review still stands firm, and I'm gong to read the rest of the chapters very shortly. However. However, you could benefit from rereading your work as you have several silly errors that detract from the story, and several consistency errors. Here are some things I noticed, in chronological order: 1. 1st paragraph: "...whipping her eyes," where 'whipping' should be 'wiping.' 2. "Hey, wake up." he said...should be "Hey, wake up," he said, where a comma comes after 'wake-up'. 3. Suggestion: "He stood and made his way stomp off to out the rest of the fire," where I think you mean "He stood and made his way off to stomp out the rest of the fire." 4. "Although it was the middle of summer, it was relatively cool out side," where 'out side' should be one word: outside. 5. Next sentence: "absent mindedly" is one word: absentmindedly 6. Did you mean a hot 27 degrees Celsius? 27 degrees Fahrenheit is freezing. Additionally, you need to spell out '27': twenty-seven. 7. Next sentence: 'Sun' should be lower-case: sun. 8. Additionally in that same sentence, a comma should occur between 'out' and 'and.' 9. "Why d'you wake..."; a comma should replace the period at the end of that line of dialogue. 10. Doyle says: "Trust me, any moment...dose for those..." where 'dose' should be 'does.' 11. "Scarlet sighed and stood...bit of struggle," where an 'a' should occur between 'of' and 'struggle.' 12. "The pain seemed to have dulled...or pull of the meet flesh wound cause by the snipers bullet" where 'snipers' should be 'sniper's,' 'cause' should be 'caused,' and I have no idea what you mean by 'meet flesh wound.' Did you mean 'where the pull of the flesh meets the wound'? 13. "For although the Infected...speed and animal like sense letting them track, hunt and kill..." where 'animal like' should be 'animal-like,' a comma should be included between 'sense,' and 'letting'; and a comma should come between 'hunt,' and 'and.' 14. "Slowly she...her waist," where a comma should come between 'neck' and 'as.' 15. Next sentence: A comma should come between 'chest' and 'sending.' 16. "All he did was help..." where a comma should come between 'walk,' and 'nothing.' 17. "Glancing to the side...morning light witch now..." where 'witch' is 'which,' and a comma should come between 'light' and 'which' (witch). 18. Doyle says: "It should take us...": a comma should replace the period at the end of this ling of dialogue. 19. "Doyle said suddenly feeling the akward..." where a comma should come between 'said' and 'suddenly' and 'akward' should be spelled 'awkward,' 20. "Amo" in the next line should be "ammo." 21. "Digging into this pockets, he came out producing..." where 'came out' is redundant. Change 'producing' to 'produce' and you have a precise image of what's going on. 22. "She limped over to him and leant..." where 'leant' should be 'leaned.' 23. ("Here." he answered) where a comma should replace the period. 24. "We'll be out in the open is what your..." where 'your' should be (you're). 25. "That necessarily doesn't have to be a bad thing thought" where 'thought' should be 'though.' 26. ("Who knows." she sighed) where a comma should replace the period. 27. "The exact same look he had saw..." where 'saw' should 'seen.' 28. ("I think we'll make it." he suddenly...) I've mentioned this error before. 29. Suggestion: "The Infection has been out for 10 hours now maybe right..." makes Doyle sound weak. Perhaps: "The Infection has been out for maybe ten hours now, right?" 30. "They're powered by the most emense..." where 'emense' is spelled 'immense.' 31. "I'm not say we don't have a chance..." where 'say' should be 'saying.' 32. Suggestion: "...there's a strong possibility that out there maybe more..." where I think you meant "...out there, there may be more." 33. You spelled Tami with two 'm's' the last time, not one. 34. Suggestion: "Well, there's may be other people..." where 'there's' makes Scarlet sound like a hick. "There may be other people," is possibly what you wanted here. 35. "Not just that but, we're not sure that 100 of all..." where I think you meant 'one-hundred PERCENT of all..." 36. Where Doyle interupts Scarlet, his next bit of dialogue seems understated. 37. ("I know." he smiled)...Same mistake as before. 38. "So for now, all we can do is look to the bright side of things ok."; where the period should be exchanged for a question mark. (ok?) I'm really sorry if this overwhelming, but it's very difficult to read a story and find so many errors that simple proofreading could prevent. If you want to contest any of the things I've pointed out before, please, wing me off an email. Even if it's a hate email, I don't care. I just want you to be REALLY good, not just sorta good. J.L
Ethan56 2008-02-25 ch 5,	abuseYou timing so much better than me :P I'm doing my best to hold off on the romantic parts in my stories. hehe Erik is made after me in sort which I find particulary fun when I read the story. every chapter reflects what happens in my day lol. I write everything in minutes.
Ethan56 2008-02-25 ch 4,	abuse:P good chapter :) and in the next chapter I caught the Sjt. lol to me being all military but cant help it. its Sgt :)
Hayley 2008-02-24 ch 3, anon.	abuseI cannot believe this is the only Doyle/Scarlet fiction here, I am loving this as you are keeping them both in character. I read this a while back before you added "The brighter side" and was sad that it seemed like an abandonned project, but I am so glad you have since updated the story, and I really hope you continue to do so. Keep up the good work, you have at least one person here who appreciates this story. - Hayley x
Ethan56 2008-02-22 ch 3,	abusesorry if I double reviewd idk if it went through. anyway. Liek the chapter. can you read my story pleease. and doyle isnt marine. hes army
Ethan56 2008-02-22 ch 3, anon.	abuse:) good chapter. I'm busy too. but would u mind reading my story. Keep the quarintine. :P I would like you to review ^_^ your so much better than me. and Doyle is US Army. not marine. lol just had to point that out
abbs 2008-02-22 ch 3, anon.	abuseI really like this story!! Hope you will update soon!?
Jan Lee 2008-02-16 ch 1,	abuseDoyle and Scarlette fans unite! I to was WAY ** when Doyle died in a giant fire ball. I nearly threw the television out the window. So this...I'm looking forward to reading. You do have some minor puntuation mistakes, but I'm too lazy to point them out right now and may send you a PM later on if I feel like it. I love the descriptions you have going here, and it really feels like I'm watching the movie! Great work, and wonderful idea. ~JL
Ethan56 2008-01-07 ch 2,	abuse:) your story made me wanna write my own. would u mind helping me im sorta sucky...if you read my finished story compared to these few chapters its like scratching a chalkboard
Ethan56 2008-01-06 ch 1,	abuse:) I'm asucker for relationships 2. Maybe we can write a story :p. Anyway good story so far

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