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| Laura 2008-01-06 ch 1, anon. | abuseGood story, disturbingly scary but well written. I was also rather confused at the end part. I understood the trippy images as probably what they were smoking, but I couldn't quite grasp the concept of the gray figure, and the water. Unless it was death maybe? What I'd like to know is what happened at the end. I mean we see Rouge running into the water, Knuckles going after her, and all of a sudden everyone and everything ends up dead? Is this just a hallucination of the world caused by the drugs? What were the lights, and why was everything destroyed? I really hope you do another chapter cause theres just so much that needs to be explained heh. |
| Fish the Impaler 2008-01-06 ch 1, | abuseScary! But technically, despite all the hype, salvia does not really waken Cthulhu from his eternal slumber |
| King Hadbar 2008-01-02 ch 1, | abuseI like it. |
| Anonymous 2008-01-02 ch 1, anon. | abuseI thought this was well written for teenage horror-turned-drama. You've got the whole trippy thing going on and you've got it down right instead if just saying "DRUGS KILL YOU, LOL" like I've seen in poorly written Sonic fanfics whose author's don't research the effects of the drugs they're writing about. Ah, and they actually act like teenagers. LOL. I can see myself in a number of those situations. The last part was kind of... I don't know, I kind of wish I could've figured out what happened instead of left hanging, because as of now, I still don't understand what the hell happened, but it sounds like some damn good creepypasta material. Also, this seemed more like it would be better suited with original characters or some other teenage drama series. Good job, nonetheless. |
| Sara 2008-01-02 ch 1, anon. | abuseOverstimulation is my life every day and being senstive to floresant and dentist lives.I can relate to the pain. |
| Tha Kalligrapha 2008-01-02 ch 1, | abuseI liked the atmosphere, the setting; Sonic's anecdote was amusing. I can really relate to that short bit about snoring at the beginning, too. On the other hand, I want to see more. I can't begin to piece together what happened at the end there, and the line of garbled numbers, letters, and brackets would've seemed more appropriate if there had been some sort of method to it, but it's just kinda... there, and because of that, it seems almost like a ripoff of Sean. Characterizations are a bit off, especially for Tails, although I'm not a huge stickler for that, so who cares? Just crossed my mind. This is like something I would start writing and never finish. Not because it's necessarily bad or anything like that, but because there's not really any point to it: no underlying message or idea, no real purpose. It's more or less an isolated event, an excercise in characterization and formatting, "flexing literary muscles," as I might say. Sorry, that sounded a lot worse than I meant it to. Speaking of formatting, I'm not sure if it worked in your favor or not this time. During the drug scene it was certainly effective, but when you used lines to break off Sonic's anecdote at "lefty" and "ecoli," I can't say that I understood what you were aiming for. What is that supposed to mean to me? Lots of spelling errors and some buggy grammar in this one, too. It doesn't detract a whole lot from the story, but it's there, and it could easily have been fixed. I will praise the ease and confidence with which this is written, however. There was never a moment where I felt like you were trying too hard to make it good or hoping to impress anyone. It was natural, flowing, and inviting to read. Whenever you and Vincent get your shit together on that joint project, look out. Three stars. |
| Maverick87 2008-01-02 ch 1, | abuseWas it Silver? It seems like him. Green is the color of his psychokinesis and his skin pigment is gray. Anyway, great story. Your description was your best yet. And I loved the trippy sequences. I thought you messed something up with all those jumbles near the end. Then I read the bold letters to find "I can't think." Good way of conveying that understatement. I still feel a little confused about the ending, so you might have to open my eyes for that. Great as always and another to add to my favorites. |