 bookwormofmassiveproportions 2009-03-31 . chapter 21It was so sweet.
Hmm, small typo in the first line of the second stanza: shouldn't it be 'lay' instead of 'lied'? |
 bookwormofmassiveproportions 2009-03-31 . chapter 20I lovde all of it except the end, and that was just because it was depressing... |
 bookwormofmassiveproportions 2009-03-31 . chapter 19I sound like a broken record every time I review, but let's have one more go around:
I love your poetry! |
 bookwormofmassiveproportions 2009-03-31 . chapter 18I REALLY LOVE YOUR POETRY! |
 bookwormofmassiveproportions 2009-03-31 . chapter 17Tread Softly is EXCELLENT, the last lines especially. |
 bookwormofmassiveproportions 2009-03-31 . chapter 12WAh! This was so sad! |
 bookwormofmassiveproportions 2009-03-31 . chapter 8Sirius is my favorite too!! |
 bookwormofmassiveproportions 2009-03-31 . chapter 7I like this one, it's very spare, but still effective. |
 bookwormofmassiveproportions 2009-03-31 . chapter 4I like your poetry so much! |
 Miss-Vampire-Girl 2009-03-26 . chapter 2love it :) keep writing x |
 TomOrli BloomingWell 2008-08-26 . chapter 21I'm not familiar with the characters so I was very confused, despite you trying to explain it. I suppose that Gideon is mourning for Marlene? I can imagine him standing over her grave or something reminiscing about their times together. I liked the fourth stanza because it beautifully describes his loneliness; the open sea and the sinking boat helps me as a reader feel his despair and helplessness. The third stanza describes the innocence of their time together, reminding us to keep living because our time on earth is just a blink away from ending. There was just one thing that annoyed me: the line "Together we lied on the cold, white ground", I think it would be better said "together we laid..." Do you think so? Other than that, great poem. I might just venture over to your one-shot and learn more about these two characters you've made me aware of. |
 TomOrli BloomingWell 2008-08-25 . chapter 20Very little of this poem is left for interpretation as it is pretty straight-forward. Out of the whole poem, I especially enjoyed the last stanza. It was very Shakespeare-esque (especially the first few lines), it reminds me of the introduction to Romeo and Juliet. I've noticed a pattern with the poem, you use the third and forth line of each stanza for imagery or description (of which is impeccable as always) which adds that extra touch and emotion to the poem.
I love the dark ending. The start from Frank's awkward mennerisms around Alice as a young teenager (butterflies in his stomach) and then jumping to his blank eyes after enduring the cruciatus curse was very enjoyable to read. Well done. |
 mustardgirl1128 2008-08-24 . chapter 20"Enjoy every smile as a picture of love and peace/Live every day as of happiness a piece/Believe every word that showed how much they cared".
Best lines! I loved this--I loved the way you incorporated the roses, and how Frank was an empty pawn, and Alice had no malice, and how thye were best friends, and Frank cried ont heir wedding day. Beautiful job! |
 mustardgirl1128 2008-08-23 . chapter 21"They took my love up to Violet Hill/On a long and dark December/All that time she was silent still".
Beautiful job! Naturally I listened to the song (I'm in love with Coldplay!) and it fit so well! I loved the bit about how they were wasting their lives that way. Very sweet! Great job! |
 hondagirl 2008-08-23 . chapter 21One of my favorite songs and you captured it so well here. I LOVED this. :)
-honda |