! NEED... MORE... CUTE... STORIES!

Hey this seems to be another great work you are heading towards. Really good and i love all of malons litter comments. Hope you aren't busy forever and can manage another update. This story is really good. I really like the situations you always put Malon in.

-Frey

Wow I am not one too think on the negative side of things and I am a major Malon/Link romance fan let alone having her in the stories.

I laughed out loud at that line. You know, the one about the king blushing. Fear is the funniest of the emotions. :D

(insert something constructive here)

Again great chapter, made me laugh but IMO i think it was a bit too much swearing, but w/e it doesn't reduce the quality of your work.

Keep posting such good chapters.

Cool new chapter.

Another good chapter. im surprised she didnt think more about what might happen at the gala. does she not realize that she is going to be surrounded by a lot of other men, or that she will probably have to dance with link?

YAY!
You finally updated.
Let's hope that you don't take that long next time!
I love your stories.
:D

YAY!! You're updating! I've really missed this story! I love this couple and you're just awesome at writing it!! God I've really missed this story!

I have nothin' to complain about at all. I'm just truly happy right now since I thought you'd forgotten about this story.

Oh yeah, while I have it in mind, it would mean a lot to me if you found the time to read my story and see what you think. It's also a Link X Malon. I hope you'll like it!

Update soon!

It may have been a million years, but as soon as I started reading I found I remembered exactly what was going on. Chalk that up to the characters - engaging and memorable. Malon/Dahlia/madame-narrator has just the right level of dry humour to sustain my attention, and despite my best attempts at snobbery the descriptions of the ordinary and day-to-day is something of a highlight, nearly more so than the story itself.

As for the story itself, it's... interesting. As always. I admit I'm reading more for the characters than the pairing, so the looming gala doesn't quite evoke a sense of omigod-he-invited-her. :P Nonetheless, no complaints there.

Constructive criticism is actually quite difficult when the author's spelling/grammar/diction are all perfectly coherent and when you quite enjoy their distinctive style: pacing, tone, the whole lot. Yeah, I'm afraid your story is what we call 'good'. My condolences. Sorry to disappoint.

Glad you could post another chapter, to be honest I was starting to get worried.

Loved the chapter and how you set evrything up for the future, keep up the good work.

please update soon!

I love it!

Hope you update soon!

Great story, keep on writing

Hm...where shalt I begin.

Do I compare this to your past works? In both quality and ability? Or do I let this one float on its own.

Just a farm girl...verbose but very well done.

A push in the right direction...near-on epic and great.

This one...? Simple and small. Plain and enjoyable and relatable.

Now just reading this alone one would think you have an average way with words and that using words from our modern tongue and applying to this world would be childish.

Yet, I find myself slowly in awe at your control. Your precision to say. You write well...you can write well...you do write well. You also have enviable control on how you write. Each story told from a different pace and style. Very commendable.

Now, I shall review the piece itself. Please, take all this with a grain of salt and do not take offense. For not all of it is praise.

The opening chapter with Ingo seemed pushed with his nocturnal visits. There was implied molestation. Touching and such. There was no rape. Extropalating on this I find her reaction to Link touching her a little extreme. Maybe, I can see a discomfort, but not the need to clean the skin raw. I could of course be wrong seeing as I am not a psychologist.

The split mind of Malon and Dahlia is well done and I can see a predictable pattern where in the future she will have to come to terms being both Malon and Dahlia, and I think I get a whiff of a confrontation with both Ingo and Talon in the future as well.

To keep the stables' cooler? How long has Donald been the Head of the Stables? I see here a slight problem. If he has been there for several years...then wouldn't he have already found a way over the years? Which of course could be explained away to saying only this summer was particularly hot. Yet, that was never mentioned and I found myself thinking that if every summer is that hot Donald would have found a way keep the stable's cooler over the years.

The other stable hands. How did they find out about Malon's raise? Did donald tell them? Would not Dahlia be angry about that? At first you fleshed them out well, but they took a back seat to the Link and Malon interactions. But I must say you still stuck to their personalities well. Esp. Geralt...I just see him as being slightly annoying but with a big heart.

Link going off and spooking horses? Nice introduction there on the Captain of the Guard. Built up some nice conflict, too. Epona being special and everything and the link between the too. I liked. Curious to see if the Princess has any feelings for the Captain, or if you will explain away a possible relation there as being her noble blood and him common blood.

Now to Malon's character. Highly insecure about yourself but still brash enough to take the bull by the horns. A little spitfire is what I see her as. Language and all. Though, I think there was more added language in the recent chapters and it seemed to me to be overkill, when in the developing chapters there wasn't that many.

Link...what to say. Commend you on portraying him three different ways in three different fics? GOOD JOB! hehe. This one, along with Dahlia, seems more a modern take on a personality. This feeling contributed mostly by their words and such. The pleasant lies and cover ups, I see those a lot in High School Fics.

The mystery of his missions...I'm torn to think they may be either his quests at defeating the Evil, going into Temples and such, or maybe him going on missions for the King.

And now he's famous? I saw hints of it with the stablehands leaving, but that was among the guard and the castle. When you mentioned the maidens mailing him things it made me think he had saved a lot of people and that maybe there were stories of his exploits floating around. Why else would the maidens be after him? His good looks...(Malon never did mention that, and when I personally first see someone I guage their attractiveness. I know the same is true with a number of my female friends.)? Thus, if there are rumors of his exploits abounding then why has none of the current stablehands heard them or gossiped about them? I can see Lon Lon being an out of the way place where news comes at a trickle. But in the castle itself, those other men would have been talking about it like present day people talk about celebrities.

Well, now this has certainly come out as a wordy review and I hope I did not rile you into any defensive state with my words. I tried not to sugar coat them or be flaming with them. I thought it best if I voiced them plainly. If possible if some of my concerns above are obvious in the text and I missed them please tell me so I feel appropriately shamed. If some of the answers lie in future chapters...well then looks like I'll just have to wait and see. hehe. Being an author I realize that some people may wonder at inconsistent points only to later learn the author put them in intentionally.

Either way...your still one of my favorite authors and you type in a way that I can still read it. Thus, no matter how negative this review may have seemed. I am a fan and I shall read future chapters. Will I review? I usually rev once per story. If you would like me to rev again...simply respond to this with some words and I'll give each future chapter my words. Till next time...

byl, out.