Love The Story...Cant Wait To See What Happens Next...

i love this chap!

haha not even bedpost haha love it update soon

I loved it. Let's see next tyler and ashley should go out. Audrey should ask reid if he really cares for her. And Reid should say yes. Ashley and Audrey should make up. And that's pretty much my opinion. But anyways cant wait for the update

omg that was really good..

Ooh! Very sexual;). Haha, I like it. I don't really have any suggestions, seeing as this isn't my story and I'm not really writing it, lol. I can't really tell you anything other than what I've told you in my other reviews, so I'll just leave it at that.

GRAMMAR!

“Borrowing without permission.” Reid corrected as he slid the keys into the ignition. The hummer purred to life.

“I do it a lot. He’s used to it.”
( You need a comma instead of a period at the end of the first dialogue here. Also, these two paragraphs should be together. )

“Hrm.” Audrey mused as she pulled it out again and began fixing it in the mirror.
( Comma instead of a period. )

“Ouu, the dells.” Audrey remarked as they drove past the rusted old high way sign.
( Comma. )

“I was actually going for the whole crazy psycho killer bit, but vampire is a step up.” Reid laughed
( Put a period at the end of "laughed" and use a comma instead of a period. )

“Why thank you.” Audrey laughed and stepped out onto the cliff.
( Comma. )

“So this is my big surprise?” She grinned as she watched him neatly spread out the blanket on the earthy rubble at the foot of the cliff.
( "She" shouldn't be capitalized. )

Reid had just stepped completely off the cliff and was now suspended in mid air.
( "mid air" should be 'mid-air'. )

“Forgot I could do that?” He cocked his head with a smirking grin and flipped upside down in midair.
( "He" isn't capitalized and "midair" should be 'mid-air'. )

“See? Easy as pie.” He murmured.
( Comma and capitalization. )

“** hell!” She swore and clung herself to Reid’s body.
( Capitalization. )

“Relax!” He laughed, pulling her in closer to his chest.
( Capitalization. )

“You want to go for a walk?” He grinned and took a floating step back on the thin air.
( Capitalization. )

“It’s getting late.” She said, suddenly feeling the nervous tension between them.
( Comma and capitalization. )

“Since she started caring about her senior grades.” She laughed.
( Comma and capitalization. )

Candace Renner; captain of the volleyball team.
( You should use a comma here, instead of a semi-colon. )

Candace was a Tall, tanned girl who was very skinny but blessed with a nice rack and bleached blonde hair.
( "Tall" shouldn't be capitalized. )

“So how did you enjoy your night Tunney?” Reid walked close to her down the hall, they’re footsteps echoing off the crumbling old walls.
( Wrong "they're". You mean 'their'. )

“There’s something else I can do to that you will enjoy.” He whispered in her ear, his warm breath causing her to shiver.
( Instead of "to", use 'too', and "He" shouldn't be capitalized. )

“Want to head back?” He asked.
( Capitalization. )

“Things like that…they just happen every now and then and it really freaks me out.”
( You should put a space in between the periods and "they". )

“Thanks Ty.” She smiled hugging the soft fabric of his sweater around her.
( Comma and capitalization. )

“Fun night Tunney.” He whispered, kissing her softly.
( Comma and capitalization. )

OOPS! K, I feel really stupid because I just submitted a review with only the grammatical mistakes on it and not an actual review. So please don't think that I'm mean O_O.

*Anyways*.

I really like this chapter, it finally pushes things along a little:). Not that it's been going slow, it's just that... something sexual is happenning lol, and we all know that that's everyone's favourite part;):P. The last part of this story is one of those things that make you feel dirty, yet turned on when you read it, lol. It's like... damn, I want that:P.

As I've already told you in Mac's, your style has changed in this chapter compared to the previous ones, which makes me think that, ahem, *something* happened. Just a guess, but does it have something to do with an 'M':P? I figured this out all by myself, so I'm pretty proud:D. Then someone confirmed it, but still:P.

*Anyways*...

... There's nothing really else to say, so I'm just going to shut up now:P.

“I forgot how much I hated these stupid ties!” Audrey whined as she examined herself in the mirror, fully dressed in her new Spencer attire.

“And look how hideous this skirt is,” she continued, rolling up the hem of her skirt a good three inches. “Skirts were meant to be short not long.”
( First: these two paragraphs should be one, seeing as it's Audrey speaking both times. Second: there should be a comma in between "short" and "not". )

“Oh suck it up, will you?” Ashley said presently as she bustled past her sister, picking up various textbooks and shoving them into her bag.

“I can’t wait to get to class. I’ve missed school so much!”
( Again: this should be one paragraph and not two. )

Audrey groaned and tossed the tube of clinque over at her sister.
( "clinique" should be capitalized. )

“You owe me a new one,” Audrey grumbled back.

Mornings did not suit her well, and with all the excitement from the previous evening she was more then a little tired.
( One paragraph, not two. )

In front of the pristine lecture styled classroom for grade 12 literatures, Reid Garwin stood impatiently awaiting the arrival of his newest female obsession.
( "lecture" and "styled" should be hyphenated. )

“Less then 24 hours of her being back and you’ve already bumped her to the top of your list.” Tyler smirked as he ran a hand through his hair absently.
( At the end of the dialogue, you should have a comma and not a period. )

“Whatever man, she is smoking hot.” The blond replied, glancing over the heads of incoming students.
( Instead of a comma, use a semi-colon. As well, "The" shouldn't be capitalized. )

“And there she is.” He added excitedly. “And will you look at that skirt.”
( "He" shouldn't be capitalized. )

Sure enough, Audrey and Ashley walked down the hall, gazes of many students following them as they past.

Audrey was in the middle of taunted Ashley for not rolling up her skirt, when she felt her pile of books suddenly being tugged from her arms.
( These two paragraphs should be one, for one. Also, I believe that you mean 'taunting' instead of "taunted". )

“Hey what the—“

Her eyes met with Reid’s gleaming smirk.

“Morning Reid.” She rolled her eyes and tried to yank back the books.
( All of this should be one paragraph. Also, "She" shouldn't be capitalized. )

“Well thanks, I’m honored.” She smiled, without realizing she couldn’t take her eyes off of him.
( Again: "She" isn't capitalized. )

He was rather stunning to look at; blond hair and dazzling blue eyes.
( Replace the semi-colon with 'with'; a semi-colon is meant to add another sentence that relates to the previous one, but because "blong hair and dazzling blue eyes" isn't a sentence -- no verb -- it's not meant to be by itself. )

“And you’re so sitting with me for this class. I’ll die of boredom otherwise, Tyler has no appreciation for any of my harmless pranks.”
( *Here* you can use a semi-colon:P. Use it to replace the comma. )

“Hey Ash, feeling better?” He asked hopefully.
( "He" isn't capitalized:P. )

“Yeah. Just kind of had a scare. It’s all sorted out.” She smiled, trying to look reassuring.
( I think that you know what's wrong with this one:P. )

Half way through the professor’s lecture, Reid was still staring at Audrey as she vaguely watched the chalkboard and absently doodled in her notebook.
( "Half" and "way" should be hyphenated. )

“Did you have something in mind?” She whispered back playfully.
( I don't think that I need to explain this one:P. )

“Well, I suppose go to Nicky’s as usual, but then afterwards I had something special in mind but just for you and me.”
( You should have a comma in between "mind" and "but". )

How did she not see right through he shallowness?
( I think that you mean for "he" to be "his". )

She tried to smile and joke around, but her thoughts kept wandering back to the same subject. Shia.
( Though you could get away with it with this kind of sentence -- I'm assuming that you're separating it for emphasis -- I'd still use a hyphen to separate it. You don't have to change it if you don't want to, but if you do, it's grammatically correct while still providing emphasis. )

“How about a ballad singing contest?” She laughed loudly.
( Again: no capitalization for "She". )

“Thanks for the dance partner.” She winked and skipped off back to the table.
( Again. )

No, that sounded to lame.
( You mean 'too', not "to". )

He leaned in and whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

“Ready for your surprise?”
( This should be one paragraph, not two. )

She smiled and reached for her jacket.

“Yeah. Yeah, let’s go.”
( One paragraph. )

BAHA, Finally, Reid and Audrey are going to get it on.
( Lol, I know that this is you talking and not the writing, but I'm going to correct it anyways 'cause I'm meticulous. "Finally" shouldn't be capitalized:P. )

Ohh, hate to keep you all in suspence but your going to have to await the next chapter!
( "suspence" should be 'suspense' and "your" should be 'you're'. )

love it update soon

great chap!update soon!

i love ur story... i cant wait for an update.. i just hope ash will go with tyler...

oh im so excited update soon

Baha, Reid is thinking about Audrey naked:P.

Grammar!

Audrey’s feet flew across the sand of the beach
Stupid FanFiction. It's done this to my stuff too. Just go into the documents section and edit the file. It'll come right out.

“Shia is her boyfriend, uh, ex boyfriend from back home in Boston. She had a vision of him.”
"ex boyfriend" should be hyphenated.

“Ex boyfriend,”
Same thing as before.

One ring. Two ring. Three ring
Two and three rings should have just that, rings. And there should be a period at the end of the sentence:P.

“You should know! You’re the mind and feeling reader!”
“Yeah but it’s weird, I can’t seem to read him at all. Not even a glimmer.” Audrey frowned.
A double space in between these.

and then there was that body…skinny waist, flawless curves, smooth skin that screamed ‘touch me’…
You should have a space after three periods.

:O! Oh noes:P! Haha, poor Reid... He was just about to make out with her:P.

Some grammar for you:

'“Do you think there going to eat me alive or something?”'
They're, not there.

'He could uncomfortable between them.'
Do you mean that he could feel something uncomfortable between them?

'and it sent tingles shooting up from his spine.'
You should use shooting up his spine, not shooting up from his spine. It's smoother and kind of makes more sense:P.

No worries -- I enjoy character establishment when it's well done:)! And this one was done pretty well. You managed to introduce the characters and let the readers get to know them without making it seems like he-said-this-then-she-said-that. You added small, yet exciting events that make the story seem more interesting.

As for grammar...

"Kate and the twins who were now walking excitedly towards the large beach cabin (which looked more like a house) on top of the nearby hill."
Instead of using brackets, you should use hyphens. Not only does it make the sentence more smooth, but it's also more grammatically correct.

"Right now all he was interested in watching catching up with Audrey,"
Uhm, pick one -- watching or catching up:P.

"He looked barley recognizably,"
I think that you mean recongnizable:P.

"'Do you know how cold lake Ipswich is this time of year?'"
I believe that it's called Ipswitch.

"He noticed Ashley’s mouth had upturned in a grin and he glared at her as he kicked off his pants."
You should use turned up in a grin, instead of upturned -- I don't really think that it's a word:P.