|Reviews for That Next Summer|
| Yamiken 11/30/10 . chapter 1
Well, I'm very glad someone at least decided this pairing warranted a fic. I saw the episode with Suzu and Miharu last night and felt that Ginko and Suzu had definite chemistry (I'm a little weird like that sometimes, but hey), even if it seems likely that she's a fair bit younger than him. I think this was sort of hinted at in particular by Ginko's comments at the end - saying that winter made people weak too, when I doubt he was talking about immune systems. Oh, and of course Suzu cursing Ginko when he too came back in a coma. So yeah, I was glad to come on here and find someone had decided to write a fic with them as the pairing.
As for your fic, the first thing I'll mention (because I'm like this) is the language. Now, your English is generally pretty good, don't worry, and what I noticed weren't so much grammatical as errors as... well, weird phrases that seemed clunky, that to me make it sound like someone writing in a second language when their first uses a very different idiom to English. Now, I did skim your profile and I see that English is actually your main language, but I still wonder if (I expect?) using another language that fits that description is having the same effect. Anyway, if that is it, the only thing I can recommend is reading more stuff in English. (Sorry to pick such a dry point to critique first, but I have to get it out of my system. XD )
Next, characterisation. I thought this was pretty good. You seem to have Ginko's character down pretty well. I did have to chuckle a bit when you said it was his first time being hugged by a woman like that, but then given his lifestyle and the way he purposefully (if understandably) distances himself from virtually everyone he meets, particularly potential romantic counterparts, that's probably quite true. Miharu and Suzu also seem pretty good, although given that we only ever get one episode of canon to judge them by it's sort of hard to tell.
General writing style, it's good, but could improve. Lengthier passages of description would be welcome - that's the main point I'd make. Dialogue is all well and good, but I've always thought that the narrative outside of dialogue is what distinguishes a truly good writer. Starting with what your characters, particularly the one from whose perspective you're narrating (Ginko here, I'd assume), are thinking and feeling is generally a good starting point. Indeed, I'd say that would be particularly important yet, hopefully, relatively easy to do in a romance fic since it's essentially entirely about what the characters are feeling. Of course, I don't want to make it sound like you're not doing this to some extent already - you are. More like, doing it more would be good. Hope that helps.
Final point I'll say is that the ending felt, to me, just a little bit rushed. It might've been nice to spin it out a little longer - not so much in the sense that Ginko should've taken longer to leave, but rather like it should've felt like longer in the actual writing, if that makes any sense. That, after all, would've reflected how heavy the emotions I'd imagine they're feeling were.
Anyway, I hope that's helped, and that I haven't come across as sounding patronising or anything (which isn't my intent). ; I did enjoy reading this quite a bit, don't think otherwise. Thank you, and keep writing!
| Vulpixi Misa 8/16/09 . chapter 1
I actually really fancy this pairing, and I was quite surprised that someone else does too since I'm sure Suzu and Miharu only appeared in one episode. (Haven't seen the rest of the series yet, but if they did come back, I'd be so happy.) I love how in character you wrote Ginko and remembering to take into mind why he's a wandering Mushishi. Anyway, I hope you write more, like, a sequel where he does come back maybe?
| Alliriyan 10/8/08 . chapter 1
I love the pairing :D
But one important note...heroin is a drug. heroine is a female lead.
:) I know it's annoying to edit chapters on this site so just remember for the future.
| TawakeNix 6/4/08 . chapter 1
HAHA YES. I lurrve this pairing xD
Anyway, the story was fairly good but it could use a little improvement here and there at some parts
| Niham 1/26/08 . chapter 1
won't you please update? i can't wait
| Xuchilbara 1/24/08 . chapter 1
I really did like this piece! :) I appreciated how you stayed true to Ginko's character.
| ijpyu 1/10/08 . chapter 1
Oh, my. That was quite lovely! _ I do hope to read more of your Mushishi works. Poor Suzu, really.