|Reviews for Bern|
| patattack 5/7/13 . chapter 15
Nicely done. Will read more when it comes up.
| DarkBlaziken 5/7/13 . chapter 15
I...RAN OUT OF WORDCOUNT?
"And yet what if she is the only thing keeping him from being past salvation?" Jaffar countersuggested. "If I had been through all his pain but had one woman who stayed by my side despite everything I turned into, I would have every reason to turn back and change my life." And then he told her, "If you had stopped loving me—if you have given up on me even when I left you—I would not know where I would be now. If your friend walks out on this man, the most powerful man in Bern, who knows what would happen next?"
I DID NOT KNOW JAFFAR HAD THE CAPABILITY TO SOUND FLUFFY AND ADORABLY CUTE
Okay whoaaaaaaa huge chapter of emotional high-ness! :D Liked it very much indeed. Will now reply to your notes:
I don’t think it’s all about childbirth and really I love the implied themes/what is about to come AHMG I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER REALLY
I am fine with friendship for Serra and Erk or romance, either ways it will work, because their romance, if any, has to be built on the basis of friendship anyway. So what you are doing here is really adorbs! I think I’ve already replied re: backstory while doing my running commentary thing, so I won’t repeat but OTL that was awesome. Mindblowing.
AND MATT/XARIN IS SO ADORBS YES PLEASE DO KEEP WRITING
Ow, poor Matt. Totally love your characterization of him as being so jealously possessive here because it totally suits him so well that deep down he is just /that/ insecure and that needy despite the brave uncaring front he puts up.
Cannot wait for Legault and Sain! I’d love for Legault to keep his sleazy and snarky personality just nicely balanced with that touch of maturity and the wisdom of one who has seen too much of the world (that’s how I see him, at least), and Sain…I’d love his womanizing, but if you do a dramatic 180-degree turn on his personality it would be totally believable too and a pleasant surprise. So I leave you open to mould him!
Still on board, and will be forever here till the end of everything. Keep writing, I will wait patiently for updates and do my best to keep replying as promptly as possible (although I am going to the US this coming august for my university studies so timezones will be hell….but no matter how far away I am I will keep reading and supporting you because you are such an amazing writer, and this fic is too good to be abandoned! Gosh that sounded so cheesy but ah hell you know what I mean)
| DarkBlaziken 5/7/13 . chapter 15
Okay so here goes the word doc running commentary, as always!
SECRET PASSAGEWAYS. I like the sound of that hahahaha. So sneaky! Also, what’s a castle without secret passageways?
OW. Like, 7 short paragraphs in and you give me fridge horror o.o “She had died here, after all, handing herself from her balcony.” NOW I CAN NEVER LOOK AT THE BERNESE CASTLE IN THE SAME WAY EVER AGAIN. T.T
The first time that Zephiel grew a backbone and stood up to his father, Anko had told Kumiko.
Ah I get such family feels here! I love young!badass!Zephiel standing up to his corrupt!father for his mother it just feels so right and gives me such feels!
"It connects to my rooms. I can see you whenever I wished. That is my preference. If you moved to another room... would you really like everyone in Bern Keep to know when and how often we would sleep together?"
AHMG have I ever told you how much I love snark, in any form. Snarky!Zephiel is so right. SO RIGHT.
“Zephiel looked thoughtful for a short moment. While Kumiko's suggestion would sound normal to the ordinary man, to a royal of Bern it was not. “
Remind me never to find a Bernese royal for a husband. SERIOUSLY.
HAHA POST-COITAL AFTERGLOW AWWWWWWW SO CUTE (okay sorry for the outburst heh)
And I think I know what you mean by your writing when you were high on sandwiches…? THIS PART WAS SO CUTELY FLUFFY I CAN’T EVEN
I absolutely love the idea of how cunning, manipulative Zephiel, even Zephiel, who distrusts others on principle, succumbs to the great power of love. And also your almost-worship of the sexual act here to something spiritual and not just “hey, let’s have some PWP”, it’s really touching hehe even if it is a bit idealistic (but hey, fics are where we are allowed to be idealistic!) Some wonderful overarching themes you have there – really sweet!
AHMG JAFFARNINO IS FLUFFIER THAN ZEPHIEL/KUMI HOW HOW HOW
Ahh, expounding on trust now, aren’t we? Yeah, I always thought Nino’s trust for Jaffar to be rather strangely unconditional for someone who’s so creepily sinister and obviously untrustworthy…but yeah, THE POWER OF LOVE AND ALL /dies in happy feels of beautiful ideal romances
AHH OKAY MAYBE I WAS MISTAKEN ABOUT WHAT YOU MEANT WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE HIGH ON SANDWICHES.
Also, you take us through all that semi-smut, AND THEN BAM SHE CALLS ALEX’S NAME and I’m like NOOOO and then BAM IT’S JUST MATT’S DREAM and I’m like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO also Matt aren’t you at least 40 by now (or late thirties) why the hell do you still have such a strong sex drive?!
(Also, if he just had such a….steamy dream, methinks it will be rather….obvious…..)
AHA. I SEE IT. HAHAHAHAH DUH HE’D BE FREAKING HARD AFTER THAT DREAM. AHMG YOU READ MY MIND, THE TIMING IS PERFECT.
And, really, you tease! You put adorable, adorable Matt in such an awkward situation, and BAM you cut us to the Ostian castle?! Okay, the castle town. But STILL WHERE IS MY HOT MATT ON XARIN ACTION (hahah jkjk)
“She was just naturally distracting even without trying.”
OHO Erk looks like someone has a little crush here! (Or at least, I hope so!) The Erk/Serra part here is so cute so far that I forgot to type anything for such a large part! Then this line just hit me as TOO ADORBS so I just HAD to comment and that’s when I realised that I hadn’t commented on such a large chunk of text. I love how Serra defies all of Erk’s expectations/acts so much more mature but still retains her adorably Serra-like characteristics. :D
Aww, Serra! So kind! I’m liking her more and more in your story haha!
And I love the little bit of backstory you wound up for her, it’s all very believable and fits into the canon so well I think this could well be what the creators had in mind when they created her! And IDK why but this line “I don't want to make a choice. I'll keep all the children if I can. Lord Oswin and I always tried and waited to have our own child but... it never happened. Maybe this is why.” Just suits her so well and is so awesome and makes me feel newfound respect for her!
“All that was there was the scent of Heath in the air and the furniture and the place, and to remember him would be heartbreaking.”
I see why you said you were high on sandwiches (how is that even possible)! This entire chapter is full of fluff and potential fluff and cute things and sad but lovely things!
Anko couldn't afford to attend early morning meetings because the mornings had cast a horrible spell on her. She felt dizzy and sick every morning that she could not quickly get up on her feet like she used to. The headache was gripping, and on occasions accompanied by an urge to throw up. The problem didn't end there—dressing had become a chore, too. Her breasts had become sore and sensitive to the slightest of things that binding them for her bodices had caused much pain. They seemed to be growing out, needing to be bound twice more. And these were the issues that Anko was trying to solve, trying to figure.
Wow Anko, how dense can you get? ISN’T IT OBVIOUS THAT YOU ARE FREAKING PREGNANT ALREADY (ohh so cute! I’m sure her kids with Heath will be ADORABLE)
Don’t drink wine! Alcohol is bad for the child!
Ah, finally, Anko, bravo. You think of the right reason.
And promptly deny it and DRINK MORE WINE. What is wrong with you?
Also are you going to send subtle pro-life things down our way anytime soon? Because it sounds like there could be a pro-life versus pro-choice debate soon
AWW HEATH HAS TELEPATHY WITH ANKO HOW CUTES
TSK, Matt, so desperate! You are so adorable, oh, you. When you are lovesick.
BIG LET DOWN ALECTO MUAHAHA
Matthew said, remembering Leila—remembering all his spies that died in all manners of ways.
Remembering Leila first, always Leila first. Aw, come on, Matt, don’t be such a possessive guy – let Xarin reminisce over Alex, it’s not like the shadow of Leila is ever going to leave you. Somehow this is really what makes Xarin and Matt perfect for each other – they’re both broken people, but together they would be made whole or something cheesy like that ahahaha
But after a few more seconds Matthew realized something else, something graver.
"...That's why Uther sent you to those kind of missions," Matthew whispered. "Because there'd be no risk of you..."
AHMG UTHER YOU MANIPULATIVE BASTARD
Okay logically speaking it makes sense but part of me is just SCREAMING UTHER HOW CAN YOU DO THIS because it is the illogical part that’s going NUUUUUUU
But then again, this strangely aptly contributes to how both of them are so broken beyond repair that makes them a perfect pair (And evidently Sherlock fics drilled those ideas into me but yeah)
even Leila, although he'd made Leila swear that she will only give her body to another man if her life depended on it – TSK MATT YOU POSSESSIVE, ADORABLE, SWEET BASTARD
Uther was a good man, far better than many worse that Matthew has seen, but he was also a politician through and through, capable of dirty schemes and tactics. But Hector... "Lord Hector?" Matthew asked, sounding every bit urgent, "Did Lord Hector know?"
"...Yes," Xarin told him.
"Then why in the hell don't I know?!" Matthew yelled, slamming his fists onto the table as he got up and started pacing.
AHAHAHA MATT YOU POSSESSIVE GUY DO YOU KNOW HOW FREAKING ADORABLE YOU ARE WHEN YOU ARE LIKE THAT.
"And screw that because they're all dead," Matthew sharply said. "But I am alive and I'm the only man you answer to now, and I'd never tell you to do such a thing."
AHMG HE IS PERFECT CAN I HAVE HIM INSTEAD SCREW XARIN/MATT I WANT THIS GUY NOW HE IS SO CUTE
"Because I'm jealous!" Matthew said, shouting, kicking his chair over. When Xarin just stared at him, he continued. "There! I said it! I'm jealous that I have to always be the last to know because I wished I mattered enough to you to be confided with all this!"
"...But I just confided in you, didn't I?" Xarin said, after a small silence.
"Confided of things Uther already knew, Lord Hector already knew? I'm always just some leftover, I was just the last resort, some sort of..."
AWWW MATT C’MERE I’LL GIVE YOU A HUG
Ahmg you make him such a desirable character here indeed! And yes, you were right, I really enjoy the Matt here. Lovelovelove his insecurities and sense of betrayal and everything he is like a vulnerable little child and that makes him so perfect and he really really needs more love
"I've solved it!" Nino said, as she grasped onto Jaffar's shoulders and shook him a little. She turned back to her books and resumed to looking like a frantic researcher on the verge of a new discovery.
Thanks to my new Sherlock fandom, the mental image here is really confusing….superimposing sweet, innocent Nino on this manic almost-sociopath who’s only interested in solving problems (who is so damn sexy for reasons unknown)…. Nope, not good for my health.
And Nino said just one word. "Perfection."
Oh god why am I sensing scary parallels to Nazism here
It is giving me the tingles
"Have you never thought of that, Jaffar? That is why it never appears like anything is wrong with King Zephiel. He will try to stick to the image of perfection. He is not a man who thinks he is perfect and then acts stuck-up and conceited. He is a man who tries to be perfect and thus, tries to be kind and flawless. He will try to get everything right. But since the people who he loved the most have denied him their own love or left him, he must think that the world is not good enough for him and will try to purge it. But for him, he is doing the right thing."
Nazism vibes confirmed AHMG ZEPHIEL YOU SCARY, SCARY PERSON
"And yet what if she is the only thing keeping him from being past salvation?" Jaffar countersuggested. "If I had been through all his pain but had one woman who stayed by my side despite everything I turned into, I would have every reason to turn back and change my life." And then he told her, "If you had stopped loving me—if you have given up on me
| GamingBoar 3/30/13 . chapter 14
This story is amazing! I love your characters and plot!
| AquaticSilver 11/25/12 . chapter 14
What the-? Okay...this was unexpected. I mean i know it's gonna happen sooner but uh..okay.
But before that. Yay! Phew! Finally a new updated chapter!
Doesn't matter to me if you choose to end this fic on this chapter. I'm okay with it.
Besides, yeah, i want it be a mystery or a somewhat cliffhanger to how it goes.
Let it be, to our own choice or imagination, like you said 'Freedom of Choice', how the ending goes (from our head). Well, that is my choice, i don't know about the others.
But, if you decide to continue... go ahead. No one is stopping you. I, for one, might still gonna read it.
This fic caught my interest after all.
Thank you for the lovely fic!
| DarkBlaziken 11/24/12 . chapter 14
Oh, I hate how they put the review thing as a box at the end now. So I shall create a doc and alt-tab, because usually I write more when giving a running commentary (lol)
OMG WHAT IS THIS? KUMI IS READING FIFTY SHADES OF GREY?! (lul no) But I’ll admit, when you said some “popular literature with erotic content” my mind just jumped to that horrible twilight-fanfiction-turned-BDSM-erotica and I had to chuckle a bit right there.
OMG AWKWARD KUMI IS SO CUTE. While I won’t say that lemon/lime/whatever you call it is my cup of tea, I don’t mind a well-written one—and I see you’re building up to something! But maybe you aren’t planning to make it lemon, so I’ll see how it goes! (And yeah, you did say it’s not lemon at the start hehe)
KUMI DOES NOT KNOW THE SPECIFICS. REALLY. HAS SHE BEEN LIVING IN A HOLE ON THE GROUND. O.O
[[After I nearly killed him, poisoning him under orders of Desmond, I doubt he would ever think me marriage material. He'll have to wonder every living second if I tampered with his food and wine.]]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA poisoning food and wine hahahahahahaha
Omg Anko you insensitive person! But yeah, what you said about guys is like SO TRUE OMG. Guys are so annoying.
[[ And Xarin is... lapping at the foot of that Ostian spy Matthew.]]
HAHA ANKO SOUNDS SO BITTER ABOUT THAT HEHE ARE YOU JEALOUS :P (jokingjoking! But it would be SO funny to have a few characters tussle over Matt ehehehehehe)
HAHA ANKO GOOD JOB KILL YOUR RAPIST YEAH AND BE BADASS
OMG LEGAULT LOLOLOLOLOLOL KUMI YOU ARE HOPELESSSSS, HOPELESS
I like Serra. I really like Serra here. I love how you change the way she thinks and makes her so much more mature and all. It’s awesome. /o/
Poor Erk, forever alone…(ANY CHANCE FOR SERRAxERK OMGOMGOMGOMG)
And awkward angsty Serra and Erk! I can’t tell you in words how much I loved this part. OMG THESE TWO SHOULD JUST TOTALLY GET TOGETHER SERRA ARE YOU BLIND AND ERK ARE YOU BLIND TOO
HAHA I love how you ended that angsty awkward moment, but poor Erk! Meh, I think the two of them are perfect for each other. Erk, stop denying it!
[[Matthew and Heath bonded like two young boys without a care for anything in the world, the lack of actual work for either of them meaning they had nothing much to do.]]
HAHA somehow I can totally imagine this and this is like totally hilarious. OMG.
D’aww! The Matt/Xarin conversation was just so cute because Matt-in-love is just so adorbs omgggg I want more of that!
Yay for Matt/Heath conversation too! I like how the two of them approach things in such different angles. Also, SNEAKY MATT IS SNEAKY :P
Zephiel. SO selfish!
AND JAFFAR HAHAHAHA it’d be cute if Jaffar could be more involved in the fashion stuff though, that would be SO CUTE HAHAHAHA
And, I just kept reading till the end. Haha. This was nothing explicit and it was pretty good! YAY FOR ZEPHIEL/KUMI :D And there are so many other things I wanted to say but I kind of just forgot after reading it and being all happy over the nice sappy ending.
Please please please please please please do keep writing! I really love your writing and I swear it gets better every time you update a chapter. PLUS I want to see some more Matt/Xarin hmmmmmm XD And Kumiiiiiiiii is so cute hahahahahahahahaha
Every time you update, you remind me of all the feels I had for this fandom (I still have them, but the fanfiction here has morphed beyond recognition...). So thank you so much for continuing with the familiar FE6/7 fandom because you hardly see stuff like that around anymore...hopefully I'll see you around next year! :D
| Leilora 11/22/12 . chapter 14
I'll admit, I squealed when I saw your update :D
Man... so they finally did IT huh...Here's to hoping for more peaceful days to come...NOT XD
I don't know why, but somehow I'm excited to see how things start to fall apart from this. I guess I want to see Kumiko's reaction as Zephiel falls further and further into madness and paranoia especially after they just did the deed. It would be sad and tragic but it's like storyline gold or something :D
I love how you did Matthew's and Heath's conversation. I find myself agreeing to both sides of the argument.
| patattack 11/22/12 . chapter 14
nicely done. Good chapter.
| patattack 6/29/12 . chapter 13
nice chapter. liked seeing erk in this, and him talking with nino's son. wonder how kumi's conversation with anko will affect her relationship with zephiel.
keep it up!
| DarkBlaziken 6/29/12 . chapter 12
Many apologies but life has caught up on me so much that I've rarely had time to read! And OMG I TOTALLY MISSED THIS CHAPTER and only realised that you posted it when I got the update for 13...so terribly sorry. I'll read this now and type my review. (and I hate the new format of review at . I can't switch between the review window and the fic and do a running commentary anymore!)
Oh, you remember what I say? I'm so touched ;A;. Haha onto the story!
Ok, I decided to resort to a document window.
Heath! All the internal struggle. Love this guy and his sense of justice.
MATT. ABOUT TIME TOO. I AM MISSING HIM SO BADLY.
Haha, your stuff is getting deeper and deeper with time. I love all the quasi-philosophical banter about contentment and stuff. Sounds so Matt. He’s always toeing the line between being professional and being slack. XD
I SAW THEORDORE AND CECILE AND SOMEHOW MY BRAIN JUST TOLD ME IT HAD TO BE MATT AND XARIN. HOW. HOW.
A face with sand brown hair piled at the top. LOL
And lol fail Jaffar is fail!
Ahh, all the reminiscing. I love it when characters with a dated past get together and talk about things. There’s always loads of stuff to catch up on (for the readers too), and loads of big ideas being thrown around. Philosophical!Matt is nice. Really nice. XD
Aww. The bit of Zephiel/Kumiko fluff was so heartwarming. After all the solemn and dark things that Heath and Matt have been talking about, it’s almost a relief to have a bit of fluff or I might start tearing up a little. Damn.
And now you treat me to all the Matt/Xarin! I love how you brought up Leila and Matt’s past regrets like that to direct the conversation, because it worked really well.
Aww Matt! Best spy in Lycia indeed, but of course unable to manipulate Xarin. She’s too careful about him for that. (Also, you just made me realize HOW MUCH I MISSED MATT. T.T)
(The Rhine River? XDDD)
OMG MATT WHY. WHY OH WHY. MY RESPECT FOR YOU JUST DROPPED A FEW NOTCHES. WHY. /
Ahh, now some excuse for character backgrounding, I see. XD
And I must say I was extremely surprised by what I read. I liked her tortured past, though. Seemed to fit her well. And NOW FOR THE POOR SOULS TO GET TOGETHER SOMETIME
OMG OMG WHAT IS THIS THAT I AM SEEING—
I SAID GET TOGETHER I DIDN’T MEAN IT LITERALLY –
Okay. But haha seductive!Xarin! LOLOLOL and Matt needs to vent off some sexual frustration, the last time he ever got any was probably when Leila was still alive.
Okay, okay, jokes aside. The next part was really emotional and I read the entire part at one go, all the way till the end of her story about the Alexander guy. And I loved it. :D
OH GOD HEATH YOU ARE SUCH A TROLL. A TROLL, YOU KNOW? And my respect for Matt just rose up a bit. A tiny bit. (I’ve a feeling it’s going to fluctuate very much for this chapter.)
And apparently, the last time he got some /wasn’t/ before Leila died. I stand corrected. XDDD
Just finished the Matt/Heath dialogue. There are no decent men out there. T.T Whyyyyy. WHyyyyyy. EVEN HEATH. I AM DISAPPOINT.
And again I read for so damned long until the part where Matt looked into the mirror, because it was so intensely emotional and my respect for Matt was going up so quickly and all until you mentioned the mirror, and then OH MY GOD IT ALL MAKES SENSE. (And that’s such a sneaky way of hinting at Xarin/Matt! XD But I don’t think Matt would want to be a substitute for someone Xarin loved. It seems out of his personality.)
Also, someone that looked familiar….LOLMATT YOUFAIL AND YOU NEED TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR MORE. LIKE SERIOUSLY.
The point where lies become so real, they almost seem like the truth. That was just beautiful. I love all the philosophy you brought along with Matt in this chapter. Really needed a good hard reminder about why I loved him so much.
And. And. The way you ended it. Says something about this Matthew fangirl here that she actually predicted that he wouldn’t have wanted to be a substitute. XD But yeah, I really enjoyed this chapter (wish I read it earlier!) Many kudos to you. We all fell in love with this character and we all saw the side of him that was far more complex than any amount of text in the game would have described. It’s amazing how someone who only has a relatively minor role in the game (Except a few scenes) turns out to be one of the most well-crafted characters ever by the game developers. I agree. Colm and Marisa and Sothe and everyone else (even Legault IMO)….they’re just not the same. Nobody has the magical quality that Matt has to turn any story this beautiful.
And I have no complaints at all about anything you did in this chapter. Everything seems to me to fit very well into the flow of Matt’s character (probably because the two of us fangirled over him together and established together what his character would be like) and every now and then I catch myself smiling slightly and going “yeah, that sounds like what Matt would have done”. And you’ve introduced the pairing beautifully. I didn’t really expect a onesided pairing, but it was pulled off well. (Poor Matt is resigned to a lifetime of an unhappy love life. Either his girlfriend dies, or the one he loves doesn’t love him back.) And I AGREE SO HARD ON WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT THE HEATH VS MATT CONTRAST. And yes the overall result for this chapter is that my respect for Matt has on the overall increased and my liking for Heath fell somewhat. Oh dear.
I don’t know whether I should be proud of myself for saying something that managed to kick off this prompt for you (haha no I’m joking of course I’m not so arrogant), but I certainly know that I’m very, very, very proud of you for all your writing, and all the heart I know you have put into writing this chapter, and all the chapters you’ve written before and after this, of course. But this chapter will always be special to me, because yes, this is the best tribute to the character of this unique Ostian spy I’ve ever read.
Keep writing :D (And I’m sure you’ll get a job soon if you haven’t already!)
(also random scumbag comment: if that Alex guy looks so much like Matt, why didn’t he get abducted by silly Bernese spies thinking that they have caught the Ostian spymaster? xDDD)
(random comment 2: one of the characters I’ve recently taken a liking to is called Alex. Ok, Alek, actually. Aleksandar von Hohenburg, Austrian prince from the steampunk series Leviathan. And he’s nothing like Matt. LOLOLOLOLOL)
| The King Of Herons 6/29/12 . chapter 13
Hah hah hah! As amazing as ever Shoujo! Damn I've been reading for so long, you were one of the first five writers of Fanfiction I came upon. I swear I probably wouldn't have liked FE7 if not for you at this point! Kumiko is an amazing character you have perfected along with Anko! I cannot express how amazing of a thrill this entire story has been so far!
You are without a doubt the best Fire Emblem writer on Fanfiction!
| Leilora 6/28/12 . chapter 13
I have to say, I love the way you write Jaffar. XD I find your characterization of him very accurate especially during that awkward conversation with Kumiko. I can't wait for the confrontation between Kumiko and Zephiel too. There's just so much tension between them and they're so... guarded with one another. GIVE ME THE BLOODBATH! :D
| Guest 6/28/12 . chapter 13
I was so happy to see this updated. I love your fic! Thanks for brightening my day!
| Anmynous 3/27/12 . chapter 12
Well, Matthew looks pretty generic doesn't he? Which is an excellent quality for a thief or spy...
Might also be of interest that people are easily attracted to each other due to similar genes. The only reason this doesn't happen to family, is due to a sort of imprinting effect that makes anyone you spent a lot of time with in your childhood simply not register that way.
| patattack 3/27/12 . chapter 12
nice. would've like to see more of kumiko, but whateve.r