Raito would DEFINALLY think it's a trick...and L would NEVER give up that easily, no matter how depressed his is. I dislike this fic for making L look so PATHETIC! HE was the one who made the vow to send Kira to his execution, HE was the one who sacrificed the FBI agents. HE was the one who exposed his identity all for the sake of the Kira case. I really hate how L just gave up. It's the exact same thing as submitting to Kira, as saying that Kira was rightous.
For his brand of justice L must fight. To do so otherwise would be to disapoint his fans.

I love all the implications in your fic
still disapointed that L died but it makes it better

but something seems off...how do Raito knows L is giving him the right name??
he's not very prudent, revealing himself like that ^^

As requested, Empyreal. :) I've got to say... this is a strong one-shot. Strong language and descriptive wise. You do have a couple of issues I'd like to point out...

Punctuation
--Being the punctuation-fascist that I am, I noticed that your punctuation was off in a few places. Like this...

//All things considered perfect had at least one damning flaw//

A comma should be after 'considered.' It's a compound; the comma conects the whole thing.

The errors were few and far between, so to the untrained eye, it wouldn't have been spotted.

Superfluity
--You tend to put more in the sentence than what's needed. One of the sentences...

//L knew all this as he stared towards what many would consider perfection.//

'What many would consider' is just a bit much. And this...

//The rain that fell constantly from angry clouds had already managed to soak through L’s shirt and jeans.//

'Already managed to' is just weighing the sentence down. Cut the fat. Keep it simple.

//The rain that fell constantly from angry clouds had soaked through L's shirt and jeans.//

Gets the point across in fewer words. Last one I'll point out...

//stared at the teen he had become so accustomed to//

'So accustomed to' is fat; cut it out. It doesn't weaken the sentence, it strengthens it.

Passive Vs. Active
--Writing in an active voice is better than writing in a passive voice. Couple of the sentences where you wrote passively...

//He had made a fatal error in his calculations when he had allowed himself to be in such close quarters//

Instead of letting the verb do the action, you made that verb receive the action. Writing in active...

//He had made a fatal error in his calculations when he allowed himself//

...Is a lot better.

Descriptions
--Descriptions were wonderful.

Simple Sentences Vs. Complex
--You're not fond of short sentences, are you? Short sentences gives a fic more flexibility, keeps the reader engaged, and gets shit said quicker. Mix in short sentences with your other fics in the future. Complex sentences are nice at times, but you'll find that short sentences-- in moderation-- are nice to use.

Syntax
--Sentence structure was a bit awkward in certain parts...

//Losing was not something L was familiar with, but the thought that he had already been defeated was one he allowed to permeate him.//

This isn't an issue of cutting the fact as much as it is writing what you want to say in the best way. I'm going to experiment witht that sentence...

//Losing was not something L was familiar with, but he allowed the thought of defeat permeate him.//

I omitted a couple of words, but it achieves the same effect. Another one...

//Losing was not something L was familiar with, but the thought that he had already been defeated permeated him.//

Again, I omitted a few words, but it does wonders for the idea you're trying to convey.

Vocabularly
--Vocabularly was excellent, on the bright side. :)

Characters
--Characterization was good, I thought. I know slash isn't in the canon, but this is a version that I can vibe with. L wasn't too mushy, which is good because you had me nervous towards the end. Light... a heartless lil' bastard as usual. Kudos!

Character Death
--Subtle, not too over-the-top. It was a bitch that L died without seeing it coming; I like your version better. ;)

Final Comments
--My advice to you is to keep things simple; cut the fat and get the point across without feeling the need to spice up things with more words. But... you're a damn good writer. Keep it up; authors like you do fans like me proud.

--Nova.

aahw, that's just a too cute fic! I would easily imagine L dying that way, instead of the way he died in the series ( which totally sucked by the way). Why did Raito kill him, why?! * shakes fist at heaven*
Anyway, I really loved this fic. It's really well-written and an alternative on the canon version that I like very much.
Keep going! ^^

I was really going to for the love confession from Raito after L revealed his name and totally ignoring the character death warning.
But this hurts good.
:D

Such a good one-shot. I loved it. And I agree it is a much better death than he was given in the series.

Excellant! brava brava! brava-decimo!
I absolitely loved it all the charecters! (2) were in perfect tune!
^_^ makes me happy to know there are still good writter's out there

Whoo, go L! *is reading this first thing in the morning...still not entirely awake*

Not much more to say, except I really like the finished product. :D *gushes at name mention* Now maybe we can get back to Para, ne? *pokes*

Good job! XD
--Tsurai

Adorably sad one-shot. ;-;