This is a mess, you desperately need a beta!

My eyes...they are burning.

Yes, your Fan-Fiction is not good. AT ALL.

First off, your first chapter...is not a chapter. It's something to explain your characters with short and pointless bios. That right there is a way anyone could tell that this is a bad Fan-Fiction. Not to mention you used Tex-Talk for it. Use spell check, please. It is your friend. It will help you not to spell eyes as "Eyez."

Secondly, your Mary-Sues have very odd names for them. Even if your trying to add originality like the names Ponyboy and Sodapop, it isn't working out. They also don't act like girls in the 60's either.

Thirdly, your plot. It sucks. It's basically your Mary-Sues getting together with the characters in the outsiders even though they just met them. Horrible, just horrible.

Fourthly, Soda. What have you done to him? No, that isn't even him. It's someone with Soda's name attached to it. He acts NOTHING like the real Soda would. He met this Mary-Sue and had sex with her even though they only knew each other for two days? My god, that sounds more like rape if you ask me.

Your Fan-Fiction is horrible and can not be saved. It's best if you remove it.

-GoldenBliss.

That was great thanks for the story. I can't/hope there is another chapter really soon. That was wonderful.

The fact alone that your "first chapter" is nothing but listing your OCs (which are Mary Sues, and are atrocious, anyway) tells me that this is not going to be a great story ... something tells me I'm in for some bad grammar and spelling, and horrible characterization of canon characters.

This whole character list thing is acceptable over at quizilla, but it is frowned upon on . You need to learn to be able to write in your characters seamlessly as you start your story, subtly proving clues and hints about how they look and act. Pick up a book at the library or a bookstore - like, "The Outsiders", for instance. Do you see a page devoted to listing the names, ages, hair color, eye color, and little bio about the characters? No! Because a good writer knows how to just start a story and bring in the characters.

Start over.

this is really interesting
and i hope you update soon

Let's see if I can put this in a language you might understand.

"this ficcie of urs isnt to gud"

There you have it. Simple, yet I think it effectively gets the point across. Perhaps you'd like to know in a structured, educated response why this story needs to be taken down.

What is up with the girls' names? Sodapop and Ponyboy are original names, but that doesn't give you a free pass to throw whatever names you think are cute in. These names do not fit, they do not show off your superior intellect, they are all-together pointless.

Your 'unique' characters don't even resemble girls in 2008, let alone the sixties. Your characterization in general is terrible.

The plot is beyond salvagable. In fact, it was doomed ever since the first line of the first chapter. But because I like to live life on the edge, I actually read the rest of the story. Which only furthers my belief that this needs to be taken down. Not only is it highly unlikely that a group of sisters would meet the neighbor boys and all get along immediately, I highly doubt they would hook up so fast.

Which brings me to Soda and whoever his Mary Sue is. Are your parents aware you're on the computer writing kiddie ** just to live your fantasy of being with Soda? Seriously, the second time you hang out with someone you intend on having a healthy relationship with, you don't have sex with them in the backseat. Another example of bad characterization. Soda would not sleep with the first girl that came around and then tell her he loved her. Where'd you even get the idea he was that promiscuous? In the book it said his bragging was as loud as anyone else's, but I highly doubt any of the guys would have gone as far as they'd like their friends to think.

To recap, you obviously don't know anything about the characters you're writing about, your plot has crossed from unrealistic to the magical Mary Sue land, your spelling is atrocious, and your grammar suggests to me that English is not your native language.

Listen to sound advice or else I might have to review again. Delete this story, step away from fanfiction, never speak of this monstrosity again.

Six chapters?

This is complete crap and it'd be nice if you deleted this from the site.

Hahuhum Konn has said everything that needs to be said, which, for me, is regrettable.

I just don't understand how you can produce such rubbish.

This is retarded - I have no words.

What the hell is the first chapter? It's stupid, The Outsiders already has so many stupid fics running rapid why do you have to add more horseshit?

Oh God! I just looked at the other chapters. I promise, if I can find some sort of guideline you've broken, I'm reporting you.

hey, be nice. she/he is not the only one that misspells words in a story. i do it to, and others that write other good stories.

update soon on this.
here are some tips that people gave me: read your story before you submit it, spell check, and it is your story so u can do whatever u what with it.

If ever I thought there was any possibility of a redeeming feature in this fic this chapter killed it. You have Block Paragraphs of Doom (TM GAFF), horribly formatted dialogue, Flashback tags, POV tags that aren't even spelled properly and you misspell simple canon character names. "Darry" is not a complicated name, yet you spell it "Derry".

Chop this fic.

This... I'm not even sure what to write. You've scraped near the bottom of the barrel for all the cliches to introduce into a fan fic.

1. You have the unnecessary infodump-y cast of characters.

2. You've given them all weird names for the 1960s.

3. You've given them all Mary Sue like tragic pasts.

4. You use textspeak ("Eyez", indeed) and your spelling is horrid.

In short this seems like an unfortunately typical self-insert plus all your friends into the Outsiders type fic.