Reviews for In the Enclave

Reviews For: In the Enclave

Jen DeClan 2008-03-31 ch 1,	abuseI am so glad someone feels that way, too, how lame was the game's motivation and it did nto give the Exile a logical explanation to Kreia--your idea makes sense. Great writing!
skywalker05 2008-01-18 ch 1,	abuseI really like "If you fear the power of the pawns, how could you hope to deal with the master? Would you even recognize the threat, I wonder? Or would you remain in your hiding places while the galaxy burned around you?”" and " You say you are the last of the Jedi. I say you have doomed yourselves to be exactly that.You haven't passed on your wisdom to any Padawan learners; it will die with you.", which I have thought also. Stupid Council members. Kreia's narrative is interesting, although it comes as a suprise because the first few sentences seem to be in third person. "No- I won't let you take the Force away from me!” " Is a little stiff, a little cliche...'away from me' is a cumbersome phrase, one which someone in the degree of excitement she's in would probably skip. (By the way, my Exile in Knights of the Rebellion is also "playing emo music and threatening to slit her wrists in the back of my head" instead of acting Jedi Masterly like she's supposed to...blasted complex characters. And the paragraph about kittens is great.) "doubt there beliefs " should have 'their'. "my Padawan[']s voice" Your Exile is interesting. I can't tell what side she's on. The description of the Masters' emotions as "pastel" is very nice. Good. Interesting concept, about Revan, and it makes Kreia sound even more manipulative (if that's possible.) I like the last line from the dark code.
Effiron 2008-01-16 ch 1,	abuseNice story. The characters were very true to their...characters. I could practically hear their voices. Also, I agree with you on a couple of points. I do believe Kreia had another motive for her actions; the whole death of the Force thing was one more manipulation. And yes, I, too, wanted to be able to berate, or better yet, beat the Masters over the head with a Force Pike when they said they would continue to wait for the enemy to show. Anyway, good stuff here. Keep it up!

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