Cute :D

AMAZING!!
I wish my first fan fic could have been that good!
It has nice flow but still kinda jumpy

I can't even explain how amazing is this, and so interesting, You're so talented I can't believe you're only 15!

Very, very nice. Everything flows together well, not disjointed. However, it is Belacqua, not Belacque.

This is really good.

I really like this. I read this over on Livejournal first, but I thought I may as well comment on it here.

It's brilliant. And I really really love the lines near te end that say 'I'm screaming for you... Show me love because that's all I want to live for... Beautiful ^^

Hope to see you write more eventually!