|Reviews for Who am I to him?|
| Shearwater and Lissome 11/6/09 . chapter 1
I like your interpretation of their relationship, but when you write you might want to think about making the chapters longer, and adding more punctuation. Even though you're just doing this for fun, people get a better feel for your work when your writing reflects how much you know. For example:
She watches as he walks on to the bridge, its more of a swagger really.
She watches as he walks on to the bridge. It's more of a swagger, really.
Just try and add some simple detail, and your writing could read more smoothly. You're on a really good thread; you just have to follow it farther. Good Luck.
| lethedrop 1/9/09 . chapter 1
They do have a complicated relationship, don't they...