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| Thwarted Moony 2008-06-06 ch 25,  | abuseI love it, Je l'aime, me encanta! I really like your story pls keep writting asap you are doing it great!! kisses ana |
| GrlWithoutAName 2008-06-04 ch 25, | abusei love Jack and his mother. They are so cool. |
| hot4J 2008-06-04 ch 6, | abuseHey, your story is really great. I'm not sure if you're looking for any constructive criticism, and I'm not trying to shoot you down, but there seem to be a lot of run-on sentences. Here's an example: "John walked up to the school still holding his arm he just wanted to sit down but first he had to get into the classroom that would be a first he couldn’t remember being in this early usually he would be by the bleachers getting stoned but not today he just wanted to be left alone, and that would only happen if he was in class." It would probably be easier to keep up with if it looked something like this- John walked up to the school, still holding his arm. He just wanted to sit down, but first he had to get into the classroom. That would be a first. He couldn’t remember being in this early; usually he would be by the bleachers getting stoned. Not today. He just wanted to be left alone, and that would only happen if he was in class. I hope this doesn't seem too harsh, I just thought you might appreciate the suggestion since you really seem to enjoy writing. Keep it up! |
| hotbritt5000 2008-06-04 ch 25, | abuseGreat Chappie :) Love The John - Jack Friendship :) |
| Disenchantedlock 2008-05-31 ch 24, | abusewhoot an update |
| Thwarted Moony 2008-05-08 ch 1, | abusethis story is great I really love it plss keep writting and I hope you don't take too much tu update ^^ love it! kisses Ana |
| Disenchantedlock 2008-05-02 ch 23, | abuseyay an update |
| GrlWithoutAName 2008-05-01 ch 23, | abuseI love this chapter. They are so cute together. |
| hotbritt5000 2008-05-01 ch 23, | abuseAnother Great Chappie. Can't Wait For More. :D |
| GrlWithoutAName 2008-04-16 ch 22, | abuseHis mother is funny. |
| GrlWithoutAName 2008-04-16 ch 20, | abuseUh oh. What was the ending to that joke. |
| GrlWithoutAName 2008-04-15 ch 17, | abuseNOW it's getting interesting. |
| Disenchantedlock 2008-04-07 ch 21, | abusewhoot an update! |
| Thwarted Moony 2008-03-28 ch 20, | abusehahahaha I love it!! Clair's dad is nice and I love the way Clair is in the story! ^^ I hope to read more about it soon, it is a great story |
| Disenchantedlock 2008-03-28 ch 20, | abuseYay! an update! |