Very nice. I usually don't tend to like these song/poem stories, but this one tied in nicely. You've got good word usage as well, which is always a plus for me since I get tired of seeing some writers repeatedly using the same words. And, had the manga not gone as it did, I wouldn't have minded this sort of ending for the Uchiha brothers :)

It was... really angsty. x3 Definitely in the right category. That was a really amazing peice of writing. It makes me want to update Avenger now... hm. Oh, anyway, good luck and happy writing! ;)
-Nikki

I absolutely loved it. It was great, I'd never be ale to write a story such as that. You're a very good writer, with stories worthwhile reading.