new chapter

please update soon i love this story

hope you update soon

About this...

Okay, so you've made some improvement. But I still wish you hadn't sabotaged T.K. just because you like Daikari.

But it's beyond repair, so I guess I can't complain.

Anyway, you say that Davis and Kari had a daughter, but...they never did have a daughter. Watching the "25 Years Later" episode, if you combine Kari and Davis's kids...you get two sons.

By the way, "Salamon" is the correct spelling. And at the end, how does DemiVeemon and Salamon suddenly spontaneously digivolve to Veemon and Gatomon? I get the whole "love" thing, but it's never explicity stated that they digivolved just then.

I forgot to mention something on my other review, at the beginning of this fic you mention only Kari and Davis' five years old daughter but then on the list of names the demon lords give to TK you put a Takuya Motomiya, I think that one should go to be Matt's kid, I mean you only put as important the kids of Tai and Sora as well the ones of Kari and Davis, that felt kinda like pushing the others aside ^^;

One rule about digimon, the leaders didn't do the work all on their own, without their friends they wouldn't have been able to do anything as examples TK and Kari's digimon launching the arrows to enable the megaforms for Agumon and Gabumon, and in 02 the crest of kindness turned into the golden digiegg which helped to defeat Devimon and the light of all the digidestined of the world to give Imperialdramon the megacrushed to destroy Myotismon for good ^^

Not to mention that without Ken and Wormmon Veemon wouldn' be able to go past champion ^^

Also again I really doubt that TK and Veemon would be that cowards to propose/ask out the girls they love and let all that time pass, if you ask me with all that time passed Catherine would have sent TK to the dump boyfriend alley by now XD

Well that's better, at least now you have a plot on how TK went evil but it is really necesary make TK go evil? well not precisely evil but he didn't had option for Patamon but still if the main plot is Gatomon and Veemon getting married why the TK baddie thing? o.O

Well is just my view anyways but at least you gave thought to our reviews and changed the fic, I take Patamon will get paired with Floramon?

Oh I'm the same lord pata from the signed in reviews but since you only changed the chapters I couldn't review again as signed it since I did already before ^^;

Hey Ya'll! Sorry about the outbrust! Little brothers can set you off, well anyways i found a way to make T.K. a good and bad guy. Thanx for your advice! ~waves goodbye~
-DigiGirl96 :P

Hello,I am Gatomon's love. I support both PataGato,VeeGato,and WizaGato. Now I really don't like bashing claiming I'm a supporter of all three couples. So why'd you potray Patamon in such a bad way? o.O

Kalina-chan is right, also I don't see any of our reviews to look like a flame, no one told you that you shouldn't write anymore or that you're a bad author or stuff like that, we only pointed at what we considered are issues with your fic, sadly the bashing on TK and Patamon was the main issue here, I could care less with who TK and Kari end, I have nothing against Daikari nor VeeGato, I even have some friends who like those pairings, and even when I have seen hard Davis bashing I don't remember a fic where he turned into a rapist because Kari rejected him, raping Kari, other innocent girls and his own mother plus wanting to rape Kari and TK's daughter all in the same fic.

I at the most only saw him raping Kari on a couple of fics, one only was an attempt because TK came in time, but never going after girls who not even know him nor raping his own mother or his own sister o.O

We only expressed our thoughts about that part of your plot and I'm sure no one here meant their reviews to be flames.

If you can't handle hearing negative things about your story, then you really shouldn't post it where everyone in the world can read it.

Naturally, if you bash a character, people are going to get upset - especially if it's a character who has a long history of being liked by the fandom, and even more-so if you're doing it to try and prove that your pairing is better than another.

Also, not everyone will like your stories. The rules of the site even say so. Just because they don't like it doesn't mean they can't leave their opinion here, and just because they do doesn't mean they're flaming. What they've left (for the most part) is actually constructive criticism, and it would help you in the long run if you actually listened to it.

There are a lot of things you can work on to make your story better, and I think everyone here has already beaten me to saying what they are. But considering the way you're behaving, you probably won't listen to them at all.

I have to agree with Lord Patamon, and everybody else who's left reviews here.

There is no need for TK bashing in a Daikari fic, especially what has been placed here it disgusts me to see such blaitant OOCness not just from TK but from the other digidestined, granted I bashed Davis in my fics but even I wouldn't sink to levels reached by Mykan and Supreme Dakari Lord Cervantes (heck those two can't even spell Daikari right and they claim to rule over all Daikari fans? Give me a break..)

I suggest if you do write anymore digimon fanfiction then I suggest getting the characters IC, two remove the false crest of miracles from Davis since no crest ever existed except in the minds of rabid Daikari fans such as Mykan, Gallantmon of the Hazard, and Cervantes. Three make sure Kari is IC as well.

I hate to do this but I'll have to split this review into two parts

To you:

Again, I find only slight improvements but still, this is nothing to be proud of. Yes, the grammar is slightly better and the paragraph formating is *alot* better. While this is an improvement, the rules of English are only a small part of what makes a story good.

Characterization is probably one of the biggest thing that i can stress out for many stories. Most stories *do* portray their characters in character but even so, the characters don't grow. While I could continue to stress this out, you have a hard time keeping them in character in the first place; mostly turning TK into *that*. Though I could probably rip apart the characters of Davis, Kari, V-mon, and Gatomon, that would take to long. I would recommend starting this fic from scratch with you rethinking everything from plot to characterization. If you do need to make a villain for this story, the there are plenty of villainous digimon out there that would fit the category of kidnapping daisuke and one of his children. Still, it would not hurt to rewatch the the serious and paying more attention to the characters.

As for the plot, while I have seen worst, it feels completely rushed and i have a hard time actually getting into it with the all the senseless characater mangling just to make the plot go ahead.

Yes, Davis does get bashed far worst than any character in this fandom but the Daikari fandom does not actually take well to these bashing fics as we have experienced it ourselves...alot. If you've noticed, I'm the only actual Daikari fan reviewing these fics and even then I have nothing positive to say. Summary of this whole review; there is no reason to bash *any* character just because you do not like them.

To the other reviewers:

RaibowSprinkle: You're complaining about TK getting bashed when you yourself have made Davis Kari obsessed? You have every right to be mad but as someone who bashes a character because they interfere with the "holy divine destined couple" then what right do you have to complain about "your" character getting bashed. granted this is far worst than your fic but still, you can't really say much when you've done it yourself.

LordPata: again, you continue reading fics that you know for a fact have something that you hate. It is kind of pointless to complain about something that you've done before. If you trully hate a fic, then just push the back button; that's what i do whenever i see a Davis basher on here.

-
back to you. you have every right to bash the character that you hate because it *is* your right to do so. However, in this fandom, do not expect a high amount of praise for writing something so immature.

I agree with the other three people who reviewed - this is a bad fic.

This is not a flame. I do not agree with Daikari, but I am not holding something against you just because of it. I do not agree with VeeTail but I am not holding something against you because of it. If you read my fics, I do a little bit of Davis bashing, but only because the series itself does it. However, you do not agree with Takari or PataTail, but have to hold something against them.

How can you make them evil? The series constantly stresses T.K.'s constant hatred of the darkness - and how can an angel Vaccine type Digimon be evil? He'd turn into a Devimon.

And the Digi-Egg of Miracles does not belong to Davis. This is evident in "The Golden Digimentals" (Part 3 of Digimon the Movie) when Davis receives the egg. If he already has it how can he receive it again? And if he has it why didn't he use it in future battles? Besides, there are no crests for the Golden Digi-Eggs. The games and series, in total, reveal thirteen crests: Courage, Friendship, Love, Knowledge, Sincerity (Purity in Japan), Reliability (Sincerity in Japan), Hope, Light, Kindness, Darkness, Tenacity, Pride, and Desire. Miracles or Fate is not mentioned at all.

If I had to rate this fic, 1-10 (10 being highest), I would give this a 1.5. It is horrible how you must bash T.K. for this. Remember, I do not hold anything against you, as I am fine with you being Daikari, but this fic is just a horrible revolt against T.K. I also think it was a bad idea to even consider doing this because of the vogue of Takari fans around as well as the T.K. bashing.

Take it from a person who reads a lot. My fics are bad...mainly because of the bad plot flow and horrible writing style. But I do not approve of bashing someone just because it is against a preferred couple. Fix your spelling mistakes, reconsider your plot, and I will take back this review. Remember, only a good story can get a good review.

I realized something, you really think Gatomon would have waited 14 years for Veemon to make his move? I mean for what I read in your fic they have been in love since the events of 02, and yet he never gathered the courage to ask her out on all that time? you have to be kidding me, Gatomon wouldn't have waited all that time, she would have asked him first or simply would have think he didn't loved her and would have moved on, probably with Patamon since for what I saw here she knew he had feelings for her.

Also about Patamon, where was him all those 10 years TK was in jail huh? you really need not only fix the paragraphing but also fix lots of plot holes you have on your plot too, though in either way, with the big bashing here is hard to enjoy this fic U_U

Uh... no. Just no... OOC characters, bad grammar and spelling and absolutely no description. No offense, but I haven't seen a fanfic this bad since this one story I read a few years ago where all of the characters except for Takeru and Hikari died. I think you need to talk to your english teacher about getting a tutor...