I thoght it was pretty darn good. Here I am at 5:33 am. reading it because I can't sleep. Hope to read more soon.

please do NOT do anything to breake Edward and Bella up.

It would be great if Edward and Bella had sex and Charlie walked in on them doing it in the kitchen (edward was to preocupied with bella to hear charlie's thoghts and prezents)

I thought your story was good, really good. I don't want you to hurt Edward and Bella either.

It was pretty good, too short, more, more, more.

I totally know what you mean about Science Fair. It is a Science Fair of DOOM! I didn't update at all while I was doing mine.

Wonderful writing. You got the characters down really well. Good job.

Really good. One of the things you could do to make it better is say who is talking, and another is make the paragraphs longer. :D

You're really good on matching their personalities, though, so keep doing whatever you're doing there.

good!

You were correct in your analysis. There was too much Emma in it. I completely skipped over that part. But other than thatit was great, keep up the good work.

i like it!

ALOT

wow that was so well written i love it

especially when he playing the piano so many memories

Really interesting! Keep going. I can't wait to read the next chapter.