Absolutely heartbreaking. I love it. One doesn't really think about what it would have been like them--living for years and years in Narnia, and then suddenly being shoved back into 'the real world'--with younger bodies, nonetheless! Superbly done.

This absolutely and completely breaks my heart. Amazing representation of what it might have been like for them to return to England, especially the fact that they are now much younger than they used to be.

magnificent story. its very good. the ending was just right. quite sad though. theyll never see each other again. :/
but i

Aw this is lovely. I had never thought about how it would feel for them to be back in themselves after all those years...

Wow... It gives me chills. Great writing!

This is interesting. It's very well-written and I really love Peter's reaction. He is very much in character. The last line is especially beautiful, as well as: "She stared at it as if she expected figures to jump from the flames and dance for her." That seems very Lucyish and I liked it; it also, somehow, reminds me of the first time she met Mr Tumnus.

However, I have a big problem with the way you characterised Lucy-if you've read The Last Battle (which this story would suggest you have), you know that having two-faced friends, being boy-crazy (=promiscuous) and only interested in parties are some of the things that keep Susan away from Narnia. The way Lucy is portrayed during Prince Caspian, Voyage of the Dawn Treader and The Last Battle show none of the angst she's filled with here. Instead she seems to be full of light and laughter. I can't see the Lucy of the books ever doing this. To me, drinking and sleeping around don't seem like "valiant" actions, despite your conclusion. The Lucy of the books would, I believe, have run to Aslan, who would have comforted her.

Please don't think that I'm flaming you, because I'm not. I really loved the way this story was written. You're a wonderful writer, especially for someone who's only 15. In fact, you made me support LucyTumnus for a few minutes, which is difficult. The reason I wrote this is because I can't see Lucy acting like this, not because I didn't like your writing or even the idea behind it. It just seemed to me that Susan would have been a better choice than Lucy, perhaps even as an explanation of why she stepped away from Narnia.

Sorry that this wasn't a glowing review as such,b ut you're obviously a good writer and you deserve better than bland compliments.

It's different from anything i ever read