well... you got a good story to read actually but...you're kinda freak me out with roy and amstrong relationship, but still it's a good story

release chapter 7 soon please... I NEED IT!






...

Looking forward to more!!

aww, c'mon! you can't just end it. unfair! i like it T.T so update! ...please?

Good job with this chapter. It turned out nicely. =)

Good luck! ^_^

wow. this pairing... is odd, to say the least. But I can't stop reading it...

You..gave...me...a nose bleed.
“No. It wasn’t rape. It was surprise sex."
I'm not sure if I was supposed to laugh as loud as I did at that part!
I hope Alex doesn't do anything too drastic! >.< So much can happen in a month!
I wish to hear more about Alex and Roy in college though...It sounds like they've been through a lot together.
*wishes you luck* You'll do well without it anyway!

Oh, wow. That whole scene was truly heart-wrenching. I felt like I was standing right there while it happened and that I couldn't do anything to help. You really brought out the emotions of the characters. Poor Al. And poor Ed, having to watch his brother's death. I'm still teary-eyed from reading it.
Can't wait for the next chapter.

I had forgotten how detailed Al's death scene was.
Wow.
I felt so uneasy and upset while reading that, like I was supposed to. You did a great job of putting that emotion in your readers.

I think I'm having an emotional day. This entire chapter made me want to cry, and nearly did make me cry.

Absolutely wonderful job.

Hehe. Nice author notes. ^_^

o.o...wow. That was completely stunning and the way you killed Al D:! I loved it even still, it was really enthralling (and it was like wtf with Brenda)...
I was more scared of her than David.
I can't wait till the next chapter, you've made no errors as far as I can tell for spelling.
A fit of passion XD...

Great job, once again. ^_^

Hehe. Now that "Of course, the two men were asleep when he left, or so he assumed." is foreshadowing. -grin-

I helped correct this, so hopefully there aren't any errors! Hehe. I felt the need to brag.

Wow...Roy is becoming a parent. He could not go to sleep until he heard Ed sneak back into the house. My mother told me parents do not full sleep until their children are home. Seems lik Roy is on his way to becoming a Dad or a parental figure. Ed has a lot longer way to go but when you get a small glimpse into his past you can start to see why. Poor Ed...having to "pay" for his room and board. No wonder he cannot trust. It will take him a long time to adjust and realize that no everyone has an ulterior motive. Poor kid. Alex...not sure how much he really is into this. Cannot wait for the next chapters to see the past and the future unfold.

sometimes you have to make the characters OOC or the story just wont work. lol besides i like this mother-hen like Roy, hes funny! good job with the chapter! UPDATE SOON!

It's not a problem that it's OOC cause it's good OOC! I can't wait for the next chapter!!

Ok I got here and read chapter 4 as you have asked. You have a lot of run on sentances I noticed, and forgot some commas. I know you think tha and is a stand alone word but in grammer correct placement, two thoughts are seperated by the comma and then and.

This chapter needs a bit of focus. You are scattering thoughts in Edward's head especially. I think you were trying to be nervous in implication, but it fell flat. Perhaps having him being more reactive to the driveway scene, or more caustic to the driver would be in order. Defiance is a good emotion to show nervousness. He seems too flat for the defiant youth you are trying to build him up to be in previous chapters. Just a thought. Having him say no or something to Roy's lunch invitation or snarling about being not intereste dwould empower that emotion a lot. His thoughts and Roy's I see feel out of sync.
I think it is a good thing that the two men took Edward's reactions as nerves at the first restaurant.. I liked that touch in this chapter. It is one of the most authentic feeling moods in the overall chapter. Is Ed's room down stairs? You have them descending to Eds room not ascending, as you had told me you planned earlier. I got mixed up because of that...

Edwards thought about how Mustang is nice is a good description also. I think that it could be expanded a bit. You have a few comma spliced items also. Completely independant thoughts should remain seperated I think. OK I looked it over as you requested. I hope you are happy with the input. I have to get back to work now. :)