it's really easy to read, and it's very well done, you've caught their personalities really well and the plot is very gripping please write more!

The layout is fine now.

This chapter is interesting and nice. Thank you for sharing this chapter. Enjoy your day tomorrow. Keep smiling and try to stay cool. :-)

Great chapter, and yes the layout is quite nice!

Nice job so far, but the Goblin King's name is Jareth, not Jared.

Very entertaining, and satisfying. Can we have more of these enjoyable chapters soon please and thank you. Only if you have the time, and if your muse is in a creative mood. So please keep smiling every day. :-)

Yet another Beautifully written chapter, and I look forward to reading the next one! Toby taking about the goblins was really cute, and I think the ending was lovely!


Just a to let you know a few words were either spelled wrong, or the wrong word. Also the Goblin King's name is Jareth not Jared.

Please Update Soon!

Good job seeing things from a new 'Jareth's perspective' -- keep going, you're doing great so far!

I thought it was very well-written and i'm definitely curious to see what you have planned. Keep up the good work =) and I look forward to the story (should you choose to continue writing it).

**envision, if you will, a bent wrist to the forehead, a pose struck in profile**

Oh woe! Not the fate of the forever unfinished!

Sorry about this, but:

Formatting on the documents page for submitting a story requires that you double space between paragraphs. If you don't, you will have straight sentences.

The Goblin King's name in the movie credits is JARETH, not Jared.

I'll like to see this continued, please.

Until again.

What a Wonderful way to start this Story, and please don't let it be a forever unfinished story, from what you have written. I am sure you could write many chapters, and weave the web of a beautiful story!

I look forward to reading more, and seeing what Sarah is up too. I also am curious just what is Jareth plotting to use in order to get Sarah back to the underground!

Please Update Soon!

Great Story! Please keep writing!