|Reviews for Skies of Arcadia Legends, continued, Tough Love|
| Phil The Persona Guy 8/14/11 . chapter 7
Of all the possible Vyse and _ I always guessed at Fina, firstly, (and this may be from my own personal experiance) Vyse would probably have seen Aika as more sister then friend (that's the vibe I get anyway) and look at the cover of the game's DreamCast release. all makes sence. Awsome so far. Looking forward to chapter 8.
| AnimeGirl 144 4/19/11 . chapter 7
Excellent (and about time ;D)! Off to save Fina!
| King Tarol 1/9/11 . chapter 6
You've definitely improved with the flow and immersiveness of your story, and I hope you can update again soon. I look forward to your eventual explanation of the three new crew members.
I personally think that, if you have a twist in your story, then you don't need to say that it's a twist. Just a thought. It doesn't take away from the fact that it's a twist, but doing things that way gives a more confident look to the story. I'm glad that you've been taking the right kinds of advice from your reviewers so far, though; it's really helped.
| hitsukarinluvr 8/20/10 . chapter 6
darnit..i knew this was gonna happen..it always does...X( oh well, time to move on to another story...*sigh*
| hitsukarinluvr 8/8/10 . chapter 1
whoa..I-I havent read this story in so long...brings back memories though haha
| AnimeGirl 144 7/11/10 . chapter 6
Hola mi amiga! Good chapter, and I'm glad to see you lengthened it out more. Gasp! Fina's been kidnapped! How will the heroes rescue her? Oh I know. By kicking their butt! Yeah! Can't wait to see the next chappie.
On a side note, did you get your ACT score and your AP scores?
| APOLO970 4/7/10 . chapter 1
that was magnificent . i can't wait for the next installment.
| Ability King KK 10/26/09 . chapter 5
Great story so far, but when will Vyse and Fina get together?
| EpiqueTaii 5/3/09 . chapter 1
Hey there, new fanfiction writer! Kay so, this was a really good chapter for a first-time fanfic. But. In order to be better, you'll want to use a LOT more detail. There's a lot of telling in this fanfic rather than showing, such as "They went to Pirate Isle. They did this. They did that."
That kind of speech is a little boring, so you should try to SHOW more, using details and synonyms and such. _ Showing also helps to give the characters personality (which I think there was very little of, but you still have hope!). An example is this:
Telling (with no details): "Aika saw Fina staring at Vyse, but did nothing and walked away."
Showing (with details): "Aika glanced Fina and Vyse's way, noticing that she was staring longingly at him. She averted her gaze as her eyes unintentionally narrowed, and a pink blush of jealously dawned on her cheeks."
See how pretty the second one was? And it puts a good image in your head. _ I learned a lot of this from my Creative Writing class, so I'm just relaying the info onto a fellow writer. I was where you were before, so don't fret.
P.S. By all means, do NOT put little AN's in the middle of a chapter. I used to do this, but I found out soon that it distracts from the main story. I know how much you wanna comment on the story as it goes, but it just isn't a good idea. _; Ciao!
| King Tarol 12/20/08 . chapter 5
OK, well, I don't have any ideas for you because I don't know what you're trying to do with your plot. Usually, I think of a problem that needs to be overcome, which you've probably already done. Then, I think of how that problem can be overcome, problems with that way of overcoming the main problem, and so on and so forth. I'm not sure if that will work as easily with your fan-fiction as I've said it, but maybe I've given you an idea. For ideas, I also recommend reading things that other people have done. However, I do NOT recommend plagiarism. Just read some ideas, think of what you like out of them, what you don't like, and why you don't like it. Then put those ideas into the problem-solution-problem with the solution frame that I showed you earlier. I hope that helps.
| AnimeGirl 144 12/9/08 . chapter 5
Haha! Hola Michelle! I told you before, you need to get to when the three teach Vyse, Fina, and Aika!
| Wild-Roze 9/9/08 . chapter 1
Needs a heck of a lot more descriptive qualities. Take a little more time to describe the scenery and make it real for readers. A Good plot. I love all Skies of Arcadia fics, as long as they are written well, i also love writing them.
But anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing where this is going.
| AnimeGirl 144 6/17/08 . chapter 4
Not bad Michell-e! It was a little short, but very good details. How will Vyse, Fina, and Aika learn about Alycia, Ali, and May? Can't wait for the next chapter!
| AnimeGirl 144 2/25/08 . chapter 3
Michelle, what have I told you before, ALI'S FATHER DIED WHEN SHE WAS ONLY A BABY! GET IT RIGHT! Otherwise, nice story!
| Desert Lynx 2/7/08 . chapter 2
Nice so far