 Alonein-Darkness7 2009-01-03 . chapter 1That was a very interesting insight into how Leo thinks and feels about things, especially at such a young age. Very nice. |
 kytyngurl2 2008-08-01 . chapter 1I'm in awe of your ability to say so much in so few words-- it's a talent and the result is sparkling with emotion and intensity.
Love the comparison and once more: Yay for Raph's fear of bugs! ;)
Impressive, lovely work! |
 Sewer Slider 2008-02-11 . chapter 1Welcome to the wonderful world of the drabbling lunatics! Or something... :D
I like the lesson involved in the story - not the strength of the shell, but the pressure on it. Nice analogy.
Glad I finally found two minutes to send a review! And I hope you find the chance to write more drabbles, since there are never enough of them. Good work! |
 Winged Monkey 2008-02-09 . chapter 1First of all, congrats on your first drabble! I know very well how hard they are to write, so very well done. :) I liked how they were not 'technically' topside, but as close as they could be without getting into trouble. I also liked how you made it funny but still made us think in the end. Well done! |
 caylender 2008-02-07 . chapter 1Aw, I like it! Short and sweet, I love how this just flows. |
 antiHEROine82 2008-02-06 . chapter 1aw This was really cute. I love how you snuck Raph's fear of bugs in there! It had to be mentioned somehow when insects are involved in the story. haha Cute little Leo didn't know why that happened and had to have little smarty brother Don explain it to him. I really enjoyed this. It was adorable yet sad at the same time. |
 KameTerra 2008-02-06 . chapter 1Hi Pi! Congrats on your first drabble!! It was a fun read. That poor little beatle though... for some reason I was expecting the story to be about how the boys felt sad they'd let the beatle free only to be crushed. I know I would have felt bad... :)
Hm, now for a little con crit... one thing I noticed was the repeated use of contractions--which is fine, but there were some in there that kind of made it harder to read, like it just wasn't smooth.
"Donny’d babbled facts the entire way."
"He’d asked Donny why that’d happened"
So then it kind of made me think you were combining words to lower the word count. *shrugs, smiles* Maybe I'm wrong. But it would be more effective and smoother just to find ways to reduce the numbers of words, instead of combining them. After all, that's the purpose of a drabble right? To really tighten up the writing?
Anyway, good job once again. ;)
Cheers,
KameTerra |
 stupidpenname 2008-02-06 . chapter 1Cool |