"Besides, she wasn't inclined to care what he thought when he wasn't inclined to do anything for her."--what a great sent about her

Goodness! How could you think this wouldn’t be up to the goodfic standards?! This was a wonderful piece. I loved it!

“Dally was hers and he had always been hers, and tonight, she was taking back her property.”

LOL! I love it. I love that the feeling is basically mutual; Dallas always seems to view Sylvia as his property in fics, and I love that Sylvia totally feels the same way here. Girl power! Lol.

I *love* how much Sylvia resembles Dallas in this piece. She’s feisty and fearless on the outside, while still being desperately self-conscious and protective of what she’s actually feeling. I love how she constantly thinks things about how everyone’s looking, how the girls are jealous, how the boys love her – it’s as if she needs all that attention, and needs to acknowledge it to replace her low self-esteem (that comes out in a few very well-hidden lines, like about how painfully familiar it is to be looked at with disgust). It makes for a good reason why she keeps Dally around, and why she’s so protective of her hold on him; it must be a great ego booster to have one of the toughest and hardest to tame guys wrapped around your little finger. Having that taken away would be a huge blow (and it works vice-versa for Dallas too, I think).

Watch out, occasionally you have a tendency to split up words that should be together, or put together words that should be split up.

““There are somethings I really don’t need to know,” he said.”

“Somethings” should be “some things”.

“Yeah, I’ll bet it’s the case,” he said, ** sure.

Yay! Tim! If there’s a word to describe “Tim Shepard” it has got to be “cocksure” lol.

“But as she made eyes at Todd Howell, one of Shepard’s boys, a his girlfriend clung closer to him …”

I thought it was “Tommy”. =P The “a” before “his girlfriend” should be “and”.

“No one was going to get the benefit of knocking her off of her pedestal.”

Go Sylvia. I love that her bitchy attitude essentially comes from the feeling that she’s not going to take any ** anymore. Again, it’s very similar to Dallas – they both seem fed up with their world, and they’re tired of playing by rules that always seem to dictate that they lose. They both, unfortunately for them, decide to fight the system, rather than beating the system from inside it, which seems to justify the bad reps they both have.

I love how well Sylvia seems to know Dallas. Besides it coming off kind of like she’s waging war on him, lol, it does show a level of understanding that makes sense for a couple that has been on-and-off for a long while. I love how clearly you describe her strategies, her actions and their effects on Dallas. It’s so obvious. She plays him like a ** violin! So good.

“To talk himself out a decision he’d already made.”

Love that line. But “from everything in the world, looking like he was trying to sober himself up” felt a little off-kilter. Did you mean “looking for all the world like he was trying to sober himself up”? Or something like that …

I like Sylvia’s final moment of weakness, asking him to tell Ellie. It’s a very telling line – she’s not as strong as she acts. Altogether, I love that you have both Sylvia and Dallas so strong, and yet so weak. Everything that Dallas says and does – swearing, ignoring her, grabbing her wrists – it’s all so firm and as if he’s in control. But, his other reactions that Sylvia notices (heh, heh, heh) prove who is really in control here. I love how clearly you depict their relationship from “the girl’s” POV here – it’s something I always have trouble with, and you do it seemingly effortlessly.

Good job!

I really enjoyed this and I liked how Slyvia was somewhat controling Dallas in part of the story and how she thought of him as her propert.I also liked how Slyvia knew how to rile Dallas up it gives us a good idea to why he always goes back to her.I hope to see more work from you soon.
Happy Good Fic Bombing Day.

PS:Great title and song chocie I think it fits Slyvia really well.

"Nothing in the world was going to get him upstairs faster than someone telling him he shouldn’t."

So true, so very, very true.

I love how calculating Sylvia was in this and how patient, lol. Dally didn't stand a chance - not that he was putting up much of a fight in the first place ;)

That was wickedly hot!

Oh. My. God. I. Love. This.

You write the sexual tension so well, and despite the fact Sylvia's being a Class-A **, I can't help rooting for her, even though I love the Ellie/Dallas pairing. Great job making us see things from her point of view -- this is awesome!

Ah, Sylvia's wicked. I love it. And I love Sylvia and Tim arguing- they're both just so mean sometimes.

"“There are somethings I really don’t need to know,” he said."

HAHAHA, oh Timmy.

I loved this! It was definitely good enough to participate, are you kidding me?!

I love how territorial Sylvia is with Dally, yet she's still quite willing to leave him for someone else when she needs to lol. I love all the preparation leading up to her seduction of him. She's definitely got him wrapped around her finger (he) and I don't know if he knows it. I kind of like thinking he doesn't.

I also like that Dally was being truthful in Tender - she did steal the ring. That was nice.

Great job!