I very much enjoy this fanfic... I like the premise of it through chapter 1... Assuming from the quality of your other stories I can safely say that I don't expect any disappointments in the other chapters

I have read chapter one and also quickly skimmed the rest (Don't panic, i will read it properly). I can't offer any improvements to the story, it is fantastic. I also like that you have taken the effort to lay out the page neatly. My only bug-bear is that you make this seem like an assignment that needs marking. The authors note at the beginning almost put me off. And the references at the end of other chapters are completely unneccessary. Seeing them there personnally makes me a little uncomfortable because it makes this story seem like an essay, something you have to do, not something you want to do. It kills the emotions and thoughts i'm feeling at the end of the chapter. Plus it reminds me that I have Uni stuff due, ha ha. But otherwise the story and structure is brilliant.

I would be remiss of my loyalty to your story if I did not comment on it here.
You've read my flattery on DA, but I will pass it here.

I feel quite useless as a critic when it comes to your beautiful writing and cannot present a well-rounded review. Ergo, I will simply alert myself to your submissions.

I hungrily await them when time is of the essence.

Regards,
-Justin.

Holy crap-in-a-hat, that was awesome!

Wow, I kept thinking back to the first scene in Saving Private Ryan as I read this, and my heart was racing. The madness, the terror; it kept pulling me on and I couldn't stop until it was finished -- but I wanted it to keep going all the same.

You should peddle this to Dreamworks, I think Steven Spielberg could definitely use it to make another incredible war movie. I can't even imagine what kind of inner-strength it would take to simply retain your sanity in such a circumstance, let alone find the courage to fight on.

Your sense of the dramatic is acute, aided-and-abetted by the use of research to produce a story that constantly grabs me by the neck and keeps me rapt...

I await part five with baited breath.

The little knick-knacks in Link's dufflebag were an excellent touch of verisimilitude.

The weight of destiny is introduced in this chapter, subtle but profound, and I love the scene where Illia gives Link the Pendant of Courage.

Link's adoptive mother possesses quite the sagacious air, I must say.

I also really like the way you have Link's left hand itching, another omen foreshadowing something greater on the horizon. Coincidentally, I did something similar in my fic.

Any previous reservations I had about reading this story have been fully discarded. Having come this far, I am certainly happy I decided to take the plunge because I'm hooked good and tight now.

Other reviews are forthcoming, so keep it up!

Wow, talk about immersion!

My previous discomfort with modern-set Zelda fics melted away reading this chapter, and instead I found myself gritting my teeth at Link's predicament. That Fado was using Link as a kind of vicarious crutch was well-displayed, and you felt the pain and despair of them both inside and out when Link failed to bolster Fado as the other thought he should.

The description of Link focusing on the different sounds of the trenches was simply brilliant.

I also figured there was a historical basis for the smoking, and since this is chapter was so well-written I was able to further suspend my Zelda-biased inclinations and just enjoy the writing.

Damn, I am definitely going to keep up on this story, so don't you dare stop writing it. :D

I've often had difficulty with Zelda fics that take place in more modern settings, just because I get most of my visualizations from the games.

Your story presents this contrast, yet unlike many similar fics, the writing is superior and more accessible because of this; not to mention that you really describe those trenches like the hell they most assuredly were in history.

I still have trouble picturing Link smoking, though, but that's just me.

Anyway, besides my discomfort, your story is well-written and engaging, and I will read the other chapters when time permits and leave you a little trail of reviews about what I think.

Good luck and continue writing.

hey, neat reading you have there! I must clap my hands at the way you described the war, makes the readers really feel it, and even though you're going for the dark side of it, not the glorious one, it's still pretty enjoyable! Plus, I don't think it's relevant to note it, but I learned lots of expressions while I read your fic, so I guess I have to thank you for that!
I hope you manage to atualize it soon, do not let this fic abandoned, please!
Oh, and about the rating, I don't think so the last chapter deserved a different rating than the previous ones, I guess you can perfectly keep this on the T rating (nearly merging M, but still T), however, you can put the whole fic on M to keep on the safe side...Dunno.
Oh well, I didn't see anything really bad here, just have to ask you one think, in the beggining, Link was at the 'battlefield', then he returned home and came back again or it was just his memories of when he left?Sorry for the dull question...

You've researched this pretty well, making the writing fluent. The piece is excellent.

You could change a few things, like not changing between past and present tense. Though it was intentional in some cases, the transition is often awkward. "But Private George Graham was still bitter. “Loose lips sink ships” means nothing to a soldier that yearns for his wife."

It's really a very well written piece. You've managed to pull off a very natural voice in the writing.

Nice, you manage to keep flow going between thought and action and description (which unfortunately, many cannot do).

I like the voice of the story, keeping characters in their distinct personalities is difficult after a while (they all start to sound more and more like yourself if you don't watch it)

I can't find much to crit here.

I'd say add more details, but you might have put those in anyway (i tend to skip over chuncks of stories without realizing it)

Honestly the only thing i've ever seen that shows the dark side of war far more than the glory of it was the movie version of "All quiet on the western front" so i can't really crit content... that and you put a disclaimer of accuracy...

I'll be your beta if you want >.> never been one before but i do try to crit a lot.

Of course, usually i can find more to crit >.>

-=Kumomaru=-

Since you only have 1 review, I'll give you another.

I was a bit skeptical coming in. I mean, sure, most Zelda players have at least imagined the situation taking place in this fic, but no one really knows where to go with it.

I am, however, pleased. You write very well and describe the situation so well that your reader can't help but feel Link and Fado's entrapment.

I'm not exactly sure where you're going with this, but I'm sure I'll be pleased with it's direction.

Lovelovelovelovelove!!