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| Wohitzi 2008-03-15 ch 3, | abuseAgain, amazing chapter. I love the way everything is described, and I especially love these two lines: 'Zuko knew they were only children, but they killed like assassins and they bargained like pirates' 'Of the mad young man—who could have been the prince’s twin in age and anger—Zuko did not speak' I don't know why, but I just love those parts. |
| Wohitzi 2008-03-15 ch 2, | abuseI love the way you write little!Zuzu. And the concept of how all the maps disappeared is very interesting. |
| Wohitzi 2008-03-15 ch 1, | abuseo.o Whoa. This is amazing. I love the idea of firebenders starting random fires when they first develop bending, and this is an wonderful portrayal of it. |
| Jimmy the Gothic Egg 2008-02-17 ch 3, | abuseI like this one a lot, especially the line "Of the mad young man—who could have been the prince’s twin in age and anger—." I like the parallels between Jet and Zuko (assuming it -was- jet you were speaking of). |
| AStormIsBrewing 2008-02-15 ch 3, | abuseIntriguing. It is interesting to watch you go from humor like 'Culture Clash' to something as serious as this fic, but the style remains regardless. Never too much said, and never too little. It gives me something to think about, and that is about as much as I can ask for. |
| moor 2008-02-14 ch 3, | abuseI love how you set the scene, and there's something subtly sinister in each of these short stories... Partly for what happened (the negative), but more for what could have been (the potential for positive) and yet wasn't. Love your writing, can't wait for the next one. :) |
| badculture 2008-02-14 ch 3, | abuseThis is such an interesting idea! It's very well written as well, my only complaint is that the installments are very very short. |
| Azamiko 2008-02-13 ch 3, | abuseI can't imagine the villagers would have been very sympathetic to the rebels. And in this case, rightly so. |
| Frith 2008-02-11 ch 2, | abuseNicely done! I very much liked this newest installment and look forward to future chapters. Very creative, choosing the library. It captured Zuko's character perfectly. The phrasing gets a little awkward at certain points. Especially the second to last sentence. You might want to break it up a bit, because, as it stands it's a little confusing. Have one sentence dedicated to telling the result of Zuko's fire and the other dedicated to Azulon's idea. Also, "silently" captured doesn't quite go with the theme of the first sentence. Skillfully would be a better substitute or some synonym. "But it came anyway, and it burned." I REALLY liked this. As well as the last sentence. Magnificent job! Can't wait for more. |
| Frith 2008-02-11 ch 1, | abuseHey! Followed the link from your livejournal. Lovely. Absolutely lovely. Wonderfully written and full of fantastic imagery. I especially liked the following: "before his sister went mad or his cousin went dead" "Ozai plucked his son’s pale body—white and black and bronze, limbs and pajamas and fright—from the shelter of the cupboard" My only criticism would be the use of the word "accoutrements". It's a bizarre word and doesn't really fit in with what your trying to say. "Things" might even be better. |
| ManonLeChat 2008-02-11 ch 1, | abuseI liked the image of Ozai being a calm, protective father and saviour-figure. It makes the later tragedy that particular father/son relationship all the more keen. (Oh Ozai, you're more of an evil bastard for being decent and near-normal once before!) I look forward to reading the next three. |
| Azamiko 2008-02-11 ch 2, | abuseOh, good ending. |
| Jimmy the Gothic Egg 2008-02-11 ch 2, | abuseThese are amazing. Little Zuko and all his fire troubles, you see where it stems from. |
| Strack 2008-02-11 ch 2, | abuseheyo this is a fun read and I loock forward to new chapters soon. |
| Lady Sichi 2008-02-11 ch 1, | abuseSome little boys wet the bed at that age. But Zuko lights his house on fire. Very nice, I like how there's a hidden meaning in all of this. And if there wasn't meant to be, well then, good job anyways :) |