I think that was just great. :3 I really liked it.

I really was happy to see some of this pairing on this site, because Jean and Kain as a unit really don't get enough love, but was a bit disappointed by this fic.

First of all, your structure, grammar, and other such crucial bits were severely lacking. It was rushed, sudden, and a bit unclear in places. And your inconsistency in switching between calling them "Havoc and Fuery" one second, and "Jean and Kain" the next was a poor decision on your part. Second, I understand that this is PWP, but, really, there should be at the very least some *illusion* that there is a plot somewhere. Third, I'm fairly certain that 'sexualness' is not a word. 'Sexuality' may have been better, or even 'intimacy', or something along those lines.

I applaud your effort, really, but I suggest you practice until you get better! I'd love to see more of this pairing written with a bit more skill and clarity!

Sincerely

HelpfulHavoc

Love it! The first chapter was hard to read because of the really big paragraphs, but I see you fixed that.

Just a little advice, when writing stories, the dialogue should be in separate paragraphs and not in bold unless emphasizing something. Also, make your paragraphs shorter, with how long yours are, the words all jumble together and makes your story hard to read. I'm sure it'll be easier on your reader's eyes that way.

I was doing my nightly run, and I was all "Hey, this looks familiar!" :D Then I remembered that I never added it to my favorites it.

That is all.

XDD OMG! this is a awsome story nice job and nice job on a sort of 3some O.o it was good i thought but i dont know what you would call it...hm...o well nice job and keep writing your really good!

Ryuu