Reviews for Drowning - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: Drowning

tripleRRR 2008-07-07 ch 13,	abuseWow very interesting so far. The end of the last chapter was quite the attention grabber. Please keep up the good work
Arae Arca 2008-05-17 ch 13,	abuseAgain, very interesting. They're prisoners? So... what where they imprisoned for? ... ... ...update please? :D
Arae Arca 2008-05-14 ch 12,	abuseExcellent. I can't wait for the next chapter. :D
Arae Arca 2008-05-14 ch 3,	abuseSorry if this is annoying - I won't comment on every chapter, but I just cracked up at this part: "Vorus ignored his pilot’s pair of black-almond eyes, gazing at him as if to say: Tossing the little human into the water right now would be both beneficial to our cause and irrefutably amusing." LOL. XD
Arae Arca 2008-05-14 ch 1,	abuseVery interesting. I'm just on the first chapter, but I can already tell that I'm on to something good. It's great to see some OC aliens around :D I find the POV switches a bit confusing, but that's about all the criticisms I can find. On to the next chapter!
Leftnt Sharpe 2008-03-27 ch 6,	abuseNow I really want to know what this 'secret' is.
Who Is Caligula 2008-03-05 ch 4,	abuseThanks for the specific feedback, I appreciate it. Apparently, we have the same taste in "Dangerous Water Music". What are the odds? I agree that the chapters are rather brief, but this is done primarily for pacing purposes. I prefer to think of this particular section as a "Saturday serial", not unlike Jaws, in fact. Still, I think you make a good point; I do plan to condense certain chapters to improve the overall flow of the story once it is completed.
Remmak 2008-03-05 ch 4,	abuseJaws theme No, seriously, I'm interested to see what this is about, although I do wish your chapters were longer. As is stands, you don't really leave enough time to start getting into the story before the scene is over. I'd suggest condensing a few of them.
Treymane 2008-03-04 ch 3,	abuseinteresting, you've done a good job of capturing the characters of the various species
Who Is Caligula 2008-03-02 ch 2,	abuseThanks for the reviews and words of praise. Glad to see the story is getting a little attention now. I'll start updating it more frequently. I apologize for the continued problem with spacing and line breaks. The site seems to alter the text in some areas, but I intend to keep the pacing and perspectives under control with carefully arranged chapters for the duration of this story. Hopefully, it will be much easier to read than my previous work. "Drowning" is my favorite story so far, and like all others, it just gets better as the narrative develops.
athenaprime 2008-03-01 ch 2,	abuseI'd like to see more. Original characters have such potential. It's ironic how much alike interpersonal relations are in your average cube farm versus a future faster-than-light spacefaring vessel. People are people no matter where you go. I've been following several of your stories, and one thing I'd like to suggest is that when you switch your POV character, you insert a little extra line or some method of indicating scene break--it'll make the stories flow better.
Infernal Oread 2008-02-28 ch 1,	abuseI'm surprised that this original story hasn't got more reviews, its well fleshed-out for a first chapter upload. Moving onto review... You capture the essence of racial diversity of ME beautifully in just a sentence, and it adds real depth to the aliens as to how they perceive others, making them seem more "human" and easier to identify with. Favourite observation about humans so far? "...but that speed was what bothered him. They were clumsy and recklessly impatient, like salarian juveniles on cheap stimulants." LoL. Its just something which the reader can envisage. Love the description; its rich without detracting from the tension, and the strong characterization is strengthened by the banter. I do hope you continue with this little gem.
khrma 2008-02-27 ch 1,	abuseWow, a fantastically ambitious story. I like the step into expanded universe. While not the first, this one greatly grabbed my attention. It's well written and the characterizations of the races are near perfect. I'm drawn in by the personalities of these characters and am left wanting more. Much, much more.
Remmak 2008-02-16 ch 1,	abuseI'm very happy to see some more original stories in the Mass Effect universe. I think expanding upon the canon and not just rehashing it is a noble goal, but a lot of people shy away from it because it tends to get less 'attention'. Your writing style is interesting, and what I particularly like is the POV of your salarian in the kitchen. It's often the small things like that that give a character personality and make them memorable. However, I've noticed you have a tendency to place periods and commas outside of quotation marks when characters are speaking. They should be inside the quotes.

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