|Reviews for Bonded|
| DrYuriMom 2/2/12 . chapter 4
This is very good. I am rewatching Figure 17 fir the fist time since Oct 2009 and love it as much as before. I had contemplated a somewhat similar idea for a story and am saddened you didn't continue this. I just might, but I'd rather you do. I doubt, though, thT you'll come back to it after 4 years. :-(
| BurningPanther 10/6/10 . chapter 4
Really like the story so far. After watching the whole figure 17 series and also reading the Manga, I always thought it would be great if a follow up series was made. This story, for me at least, gives the original story a worthy follow-up. Anyway, the plot seems to be moving along nicely, and is well written. I just noticed the last time you updated was in 2008 so I don't suppose I'll ever see how you imagined the story to continue, a shame really. Still felt I should review since I liked the story.
| kuranoid 8/12/10 . chapter 4
I like this. Thanks for writing this
| Farrah 11/17/09 . chapter 4
I only just finished watching Figure 17. Thought I'd look to see if anyone was writing a story about it. So glad that someone is. I LOVE your story and it's only up to chap 4. Yay for Tsubasa, Hikaru and D.D. Keep up the good work and I'll keep reading and reviewing when I can. Dad is always on the computer so I can't get on as often as I'd like.
Thanks once again for bringing joy to this new fan.
| Dinurs 6/17/09 . chapter 4
It's good, I'd just hope that there was more well I hope you at some point continue this since I'd really like to see what happened next :)
| Syaoran the Water Kitsune 4/27/09 . chapter 4
I really like this story! Please update soon.
| Misasura 8/1/08 . chapter 4
I don't really know how to do a review for a story, I barely know how to do one for a picture, but I like the story so far.
I can't see much that need's change aside from a few spelling errors.
This story sounds so good right now, please continue it.
| AnjinForever 6/26/08 . chapter 4
Uaa os capitulos sao curto d! Escreve mais! Confia que isto e um bom sinal, porque eu gosto sua historia muito. Gostei que D.D. e um parte central, muito bom. Parece que vai ter um plot muito interessante, entao escreve mais!
Anyway, it's good to have other authors that like Figure 17. You guys have given me the courage to blow the dust off of one of my own old F17 fic ideas and maybe you'll see it posted up here in a bit as well. Keep writin!
| jess.ter 5/25/08 . chapter 4
i have only just watched figure 17 and i found it excelent but was dismayed at how little fanfiction there was on it. truely a waste. and when Hikaru dies that is just plain unfair! please continue to bring hikaru back and make tsubasa happy again, and while giving D.D. hell dont let him die please.
p.s. i love your story, keep it up!
| Zuka 5/7/08 . chapter 4
I love your fic and i hope to see more very sson.
| Ochipepe 4/8/08 . chapter 4
Hello, I just saw that there are Figure 17 fanfictions, so I decided to give some feed-back:
chapter 1 : very nice introduction, really curious to know what's going to happen to DD. The dialog was interesting and seemed credible.
With so much potential for trouble and character development (how will DD accommodate becoming an earthling, if not a human, how will he come to view people and the society of his homeworld? Will he start to relate to other humans besides the twins, and in which manners, will there be misunderstandings, challenges?)
chapter 2 : too much film and storytelling theory. Better to show things than to explain them. Also, the stream of thought did not seem to come from Tsubasa, but from the author, which is jarring. (plot, sidekick, heroine, etc... are scriptwriting jargon, and should be used sparingly in the novel itself. Imagine Bilbo mentioning Sauron as the villain/bad guy/antagonist, it totally breaks suspension of disbelief). I could not hear the inner voice of Tsubasa, only an adult/mature/writer translation of it.
chapter 3 : again the voice of Tsubasa seems too sophisticated. Maybe she could convey the same feelings with other words. For instance when Tsubasa says "I don't know if I could handle going back there", she sounds like an adult, since adults handle problems. Children feel the problems or react to them. You could have said something like "I'm too sad to visit Shinichi-san", or "I cry too much when I think about Shinichi-san", or she could say "I don't want to return there...", and mention that she seems to tries hard to prevent herself from sobbing, etc...
Concerning the possibility of Hikaru being alive, I think it's interesting, but somehow devalues the ending of the series. After all death is frightful because it's final, and this is what made Sho-kun death so poignant. canceling a death is a bit like cheating the viewers, in the same way that telling at the end of a story that it was all a dream may irritate readers. If they suspect that you use those devices, they will also be less inclined to emotionally invest themselves in your plot (after all, why be sad for the dead, if they may actually not be dead?).
I think it would have been interesting if DD thought Hikaru was still alive, but in fact it turned out that it's a trace of her, a remnant that could form into a new character (a new sister for Tsubasa?) This new character could have some of the traits of Hikaru, but be a different entity, which would cause an interesting interaction with Tsubasa (similar to the relationship between someone and a deceased friend/love's daughter). In this way you would preserve the potency of death, but re-enact parts of Hikaru features that you are interested in injecting in your story.
Of course, these are just suggestions, and anyway now you are probably pretty invested in the way you planned your story. You could still adapt your story, although chapter 4 puts strong constraints into this: the new entity would have Hikaru-chan's memories... It's possible, since Hikaru had Tsubasa's memories. You could for instance postulate that when Hikaru died, parts of her body contaminated another Figure , giving "it" the memories of Hikaru up to her death. In this way you could explain chapter 4 and still go for a semi-new character (who could have additional different memories, and other personality traits).
chapter 4: Again you tend to recapitulate past story elements of the anime, which I find counter productive: people who saw the anime know about it, and for new readers it's too dense to be comfortable. Just introduce important elements as the story moves on, not in a single information dump.
Conclusion: please don't be offended by all these comments and suggestions. I enjoyed your writing and found the story interesting. My favorite chapter is the first, in which tension is built, and one wonders what's going to happen, how will DD evolve, same for his colleague, etc. I just think some twists would make things even more interesting than just reviving Hikaru. Also, I really think you should develop more Tsubasa's voice (and probably Hikaru's, since she had also a child psychology). In any case, it's cool to see someone motivated to write about Figure 17, it's one of my favorite anime.
I hope in next chapter we'll have some details in how DD, Tsubasa and Hikaru (or pseudo Hikaru) interact together and adapt to daily life in Tokyo or Hokkaido. How will things go with Tsubasa's father? A bit of slice-of-life would be nice, in the meantime you can start introducing the search party that is coming for DD or whatever developments you have in store for the trio.
| Traveler 4/3/08 . chapter 3
Hmm...It's a Figure 17 ,eventually,the reunion of Hikaru and Tsubasa. Continue be set upon by the legion of Ninja rabbits that have sprung up during my time away.
| Ariothos 3/14/08 . chapter 3
Hikaru is perhaps alive!
I really like this fic, update soon please.
| Ariothos 2/18/08 . chapter 1
I am happy to see Figure 17 fanfictions!