I'm so thankful Shigure, for all his flaws, has Hatori to fall back onto-sweet, strong Hatori, who never turns his back on his dear old friend no matter how crazy he becomes, and I thought you illustrated that pretty damn well in this fic. Thanks for the lovely piece. Hatori/Shigure forever!

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good one...
i enjoyed it :)

I like Shigure and Hatori friendship fiction.

"Shigure, in his current drunken stupor, was my problem"XD

Shigure suffering for Akito,good!

“You be her replacement father, Kureno’ll be her…her older brother? Heh, her incestuous older brother..."

I like it very much!

this is good, so what happens next?

I liked the opening but it seems slightly dull, maybe more description but I'm not sure what to say to improve on. Aww poor Shigure, what happened to him. I think you need to strengthen the diction somehow. I'm not sure that Shigure's emotions would be so rash, how could he want to kill Akito that badly? I like how you noted it to be obsession. Some awkward phrasing that makes it slightly hard to follow the chapter.

Try to balance the dialogue so it doesn't become overwhelming. I like the way you talk about Akira. Maybe work on the characterization, it's good but it could use improvement. Strengthen the dialogue since some parts are a little wishy-washy. Wow Shigure's drunk? Poor guy.
It's a nice chapter but you might need to work on the execution
Great work
~Myst