Well, you must know by now that I like anything that you write between Kai and Tala. I think that you definitely passed the challenge. Good job, yet again. The vast majority of all the reviews I've ever written thus far are now for your stories. Hopefully all these reviews will inspire you to write some more works in the Beyblade fandom.

This is great. Not gonna take it as yaoi, but good regardless

That was bloody amazing! It was a complete tease...which I hate...but it was good. Very good.

This was good! And to be honest, I didn't read this as a maybe-a-little-bit-yaoific, it just doesn't come close to yaoi. Well, at least not in my opinion. I think it's amazing how you keep the characters real, I mean, isn't that the whole point of writing fanfics? Like probably alot of others, I hate it when some writers forget that some things just never will happen in the universe they're writing a fic of.

Keep up the good work!

lol you sound so traumatized... it couldn't have been that bad and it worked for me I certainly got the Yaoi but not exactly Yaoi... lol I got the gay vibe in it so to speak XD but I'm not a Yaoi writer either just doesn't come easily to me lol not that I don't mind it but I do feel ya it's the same for me with a Bryan/Ming Ming fic... I can't even read them XD

Great! That was less yaoi that I really thought. You made a perfect interaction between them, I think would be more yaoi taking away the dislike they felt for each other… anyway I don’t like yaoi too. And you’re WONDERFUL describing tension-almost fight between those two Russians. I love it! Kai rules! Tala tried hard but he lost, he couldn’t against Kai, here you put the things different than your other fics, they literally hate the fact they are teammates, right? No that kind of weird link between them on a bizarre friendship. They are rivals even being part of the same team.
(I love the part with they almost face to face) and your writing describing their attitudes… you made a wonderful story. I’ll be happy reading your new dare, hahaha!
You did a wonderful fic, whoever dared you, I’m sure you won. And… (I like more Kai’s eyes on first season) but here… God! I imagined them…
Ikusi arte!

Firstly, a word of (coughcough) wisdom from one author to another; when in doubt, write humour. And don't give me that 'but I don't know how to' nonsense because I have read This Guy Called Kai and Let's Talk, but let's NOT talk about that here and pretend I haven't yet read them. Among the many types of stories I enjoy reading, one of them are 'misunderstanding' fics. You know, the type where one character (or in this case, it would be two) does something like...lets say; moving a bed. Cue grunting, groaning, moaning and 'Oh, Kai, go slow. Kai you're too fast, Kai. No, stop, Kai--aah!' and all the others outside the just-happened-to-get-locked door would be like :O BECOZ it totally sounds like something else.

But that would be the fanfiction equivalent of cheating. I like this version much, much more.

Secondly; a little term fixing here. The one that may seem more appropriate would be Shounen-ai, since your story is as far removed from Yaoi as one story can be without being, you know, completely straight. Yaoi mostly involves lot of gay sex, whilst Shounen-ai literally translates to boy love. Okay? Great. So that's as far as my stint being an obnoxious know-it-all goes. Let's move on shall we?

Awesome.

So, the story: let's get to it bit-by-bit why don't we?

The summary.
To be honest the last word that crossed my mind when I read it was gay. If you hadn't but the NON YAOI warning at the end, I wouldn't even have thought it was since it seemed like a normal scenario two people may find themselves in. Personally, I wish 'I'd' find myself in the position with either one of the two. But I understand how hard it must have been for you to write something you don't believe in. That's like asking Tyson to write a ten-page essay on the greatness of boiled cabbages. But all that pain and agony (I assume you went to such lengths anyway) paid off, I can tell you that.

Normally (or not normally, depends on which side of the internet you read your stories on) locker room scenes always end up on one distinctly unmistakeable part; locker room sex. It's fine, you know, but mainly, your opinion regarding slash is one I have regarding smut. I don't hate it, but I don't crave it. People who write it, fine. I don't go looking for some just for the sole reason to bash. Same context goes to twincest or incest. That is one ship...or three...that does not sail for me.

So anyway (receive a couple more reviews from me and you'll find out that this is my most favourite 'getting-back-on-the-subject' phrase), I didn't get much slash vibe Kai and Tala here, but I wasn't looking for it either. I think it's already great as it is. The tension in the air was as thick as Tyson and I could literally feel my heartbeat thumping beneath my left breast.

It's already a gift of writing you have when you can make someone enjoy a story, it's another when you can make someone experience it and this one did just that. Another thing I like about this is just how much of everything I could really see happening in the anime. I hate when people sugar coat Kai's words and turn him into some namby-pamby loser who jumps to the rescue whenever he finds a stray cat on the road. The cat he fed scratched him! If that's not enough reason to accept that Kai is a bad-** whom even cats HE FEEDS find dubious, then take your hand off that submit button and step away from the fanfiction.

So anyway; people may favourite the descriptions, I personally am not a fan of those. You read badly done, over the top ones frequent enough and your brain automatically skims over them, even the good ones. I, being the non-conformist person that I am, really liked this one:

'Kai was merely doing what he did best. Well, second to being arrogant or third to being arrogant and a grouch, or fourth to being arrogant, a grouch and a traitor; he was making Tala feel threatened.'

I don't normally compare one author to another, but since this one is my ultimate favourite, you can be assured that it's all in good praise: Ladya C. Maxine. She writes phrases like that and I enjoy them very much. I don't know…it's an affinity of mine.

You should know that I'm not all that good in giving out critiques, only praises and **-kissing, the occasional 'wtf were you thinking when you wrote this?!' and sometimes a 'gtfo of my fandom' or two. I guess it stems from my natural attraction to GOOD stories that would only be guilty of not having enough errors and mistakes to make me think that, hey, I'm not the only one.

I would have liked to hear Kai elaborate more on what he thought of Tala using his best attack on Kenny, but since he isn't the most verbal character on the show (a point I mourn) I didn't expect him to. Another thing, can I say that I liked that Spencer walked in on Tala in the end. It's just something random that I find sweet, like a subtle turnaround from what Tala had thought of them earlier. I always saw Spencer as someone with unquestionable loyalty to Tala. It's like his entrance silently put to rest all of Tala's negative thoughts about what they thought of him. I imagine him holding a can of 100 Plus too, to be honest. It just seems like his drink, you know.

Anyway, 900 plus words in and I think we’re off to a very good start, don't you? Hope to see more one-shots from you in the future.

Lots of love,
The above linked :)

this is col :D

haha answer to your questions: yes you got the tension across well and DEFINITELY yes you described GORGEOUS Kai's eyes well enough. :D haha write KaiOC fics kay?? can't wait!

Yes.! You are seriously good at this. No matter what the circumstance, you always manage to deliver reality to the situation. Your stuff always gets me hooked, even for something as short and sweet as this.

-And never fear, no one's capable of describing Kai's glorious eyes to the level you do. (And I adore you for that alone ^_^)

Wow that was breath taking, really it was i felt the tension at the end. i don't think you failed your challenge, if ever Kai and Tala did have those kind of feelings for each other (which i hope not because like you said on your main page about them and brotherly feelings almost) it would kinda be like what you just wrote, they're both stubborn and don't back down, and Kai with his personal space it wouldn't be a very healthy relationship.

I've said before i think about how i love how you keep them all in character, i hope you do another Beyblade fic soon.

Keep up the good work *good guy pose*

Do you do request fics? I never knew that. If you do could I request something sometime? : )

This was well written but your stories always are. I didn't read it as yaoi but yeah I see where the tension is. You should post more oneshots inbetween updating yourn main fic, your work is always a good read.

Good. I liked the story line. Thumbs up.

(p.s.didnt read it as yaoi btw)

Honestly, the summary surprised me until I clicked the link and read your foreword. The only part remotely yaoi-like would be the part where their faces were inches apart... and actually, I think that'd only be because if you take it out of context (like what happened when I just read the summary and nothing else).

But I'm just so impressed that you did such a dare fic! ^.^ I think the challenge was done quite well. It's hard to write a story that hints at something that isn't really all there at all.

Ooh... Nice! I actually held my breath while reading this, it was intense!

The funny thing is... I never saw any suggestions of yaoi... ehe he, maybe it's because I really didn't want to see it, but there ya have it! The story was tense, uncomfortable, sharp and emotional (in that ambiguous 'I have really do have deep feelings yet refuse to show any at all, period' type of way ^_^') but for me it didn't quite overstep the boundary into possible yaoi-ness.

Maybe it's because most yaoi fics ignore the subtle hints for blatant overhauls, which have blinded me, so I've become utterly desensitized... But really, it's best this way XD, I don't think I could have handled any larger hints. ;P

Actually, I really enjoyed this story, you have a gift for one shots! I was looking at your profile (to check out what you said about me... I'm only 7th on your list?!... XD No, I'm kidding! Seriously though, I'm honoured, flattered and whatever other grateful adjective you can think of C:, Thank you very much for your kind words!) and I saw that shocking dare! And so, I just had to check out this story! I think you're the first author (in Beyblade, at least) to ever do something like this... lol, congrats!... Or something XD

First, the description here is amazing! I don't know what you mean, saying you can't write in-depth description, This fic is incredibly detailed. I could actually SEE what was happening as it was going on: Kai's look of deep disgust, Tala's shame, covered by righteous anger and the confrontation. When Tala's hand slammed against the lockers, the first thought I had was 'Ow, didn't that hurt his hand?' Which shows how into the story I was!

The best part though, hands down, was Kai's reaction to having his 'personal space' (heh, heh, 'personal space' for Kai is what? Five meters around his person? ;P)invaded. His very, VERY slight show of emotion (your writing really does NEVER fall out of character for him... it's amazing, and drool worthy ^_~... Of course, by then I was already drooling over your description of Kai's eyes XD).

I wonder, were you feeling awkward while you wrote this? If so, you managed to translate that uncomfortable air beautifully into the story! I bet you still enjoyed writing it though (writing any Kai, Tala interaction is always fun ;D), because your writing flows so easily between one idea to the next and that is difficult to do if you're struggling to think of what to write (Well... that's what happens to me anyway!)

I think I'm going to break it off here for now. I could go on (and on, and on ^.^) but it's too late here (past 2AM! It's post midterm - late night studying syndrome gone wrong!) to write any more. I have read your last chapter of Slave for You, so I'll try to find the time to review that sooner--rather than later (just to FURTHER increase the things you have to reply to >D).

Anyway, great job with the non-yaoi, yet hinting-at-something-questionable fic!

Adio!

Sholay

I dislike this pairing as well - in my opinion, it just wouldn't happen! This ficlet was really good - poor Tala. He can't ever get the better of Kai. But then again, Kai rarely gets the better of him either - they're more alike than they'll admit really. Anyway, enough of my musings - good work. I love the way you write.