Reviews for Thorns - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: Thorns - Reviews: Page 1 of 16

sarramaks 2008-04-29 ch 18,	abuseI liked it. I adored the line "Danny grinned at him in the manner of a cat grinning at a fledgling; a lame fledgling, with no place left to run." Being owned by three cats it seemed a very apt image. This was a stunningly written story. Linguistically, the imagery and description was wonderful, but I thought that towards the end it detracted from the actual crime. Stella's internal weather was fantastically portrayed, as was Hawkes' trauma at the end. I loved the Danny/Flack side story - that lightened it and was as we can imagine those characters being. Plot wise, I would have liked to have had further details of the crime, his motives etc. I am a crime hound, and read more crime fiction than I care to admit as well as writing it, and I love details about cases. I loved Patricia Cornwell's Kay Scarpetta books until the stories became more about Kay's personal life. Character deatails are great sides (says she who's writing a fluffy duffy fic about Flack and Angell - but my excuse for that is my actual novel doesn't do fluff), but I would have liked more given to the whydunnit. I thought you had Stella's character painted very well, although some of her strength was replaced by stupidity at times - although the predicament she's in is the reason for this. I would have liked to have seen a more serious side to Danny (I would never tire of slapping him at present). I loved the sectons where you POV slipped to Sid's - very accurate and contained depth. I shall now go and read Falling Leaves!
sarramaks 2008-04-29 ch 17,	abuseAs the story has developed you have woven some stunning imagery into the lines. The words you've chpsen gives it an almost surreal feel to what's happening, which is further emphasising what Stella has been going through. Nicely done.
sarramaks 2008-04-29 ch 16,	abuseI found this chapter reminiscient of Victorian Gothic novels with Stella's almost unconscious thoghts. Thought is was wonderfully door, and very different to the usual aspects of the crime genre.
sarramaks 2008-04-29 ch 15,	abuse"A scalpel blade cut the clouds and the sun trickled through above the waking city, as yellow as sand." One of the best lines I've read in ages. Beautifully apt. Loved the short sections, very good build up of tension.
sarramaks 2008-04-29 ch 14,	abuseI'm intrigued why he has this fascination with Mac and Stella. I've possibly missed something as I'm at home from work with migraine. I liked the little ditty between Flack and Stella, and her painful 'I don't know what day it is' kind of sums up her desperation.
sarramaks 2008-04-29 ch 13,	abuseinteresting. I am enjoying the twists and turns immensely.
sarramaks 2008-04-29 ch 12,	abuseFor a moment I wondered if the Mac sections were taking place after the Stella bits rather than concurrently...
sarramaks 2008-04-29 ch 11,	abuseI'm gripped by what the address is. Could it possibly be Mac's? I suspected earlier that Stella could somehow be poisoned - ? I shall see. Adored Sid here. Found Danny and Flack's food consumption entertaining.
sarramaks 2008-04-29 ch 10,	abuseIntriguing ending. I like how you've continued the same tone of words to describe the perp as you did in previous chapters.
sarramaks 2008-04-29 ch 9,	abusePoor Sid. Still a little freaky. I think you've characterized Stella well. I can see strong elements within the others such as Hawkes and Flack, but nothing that gives me much depth. Sid's great in this chapter, I can see him as an individual, and I can hear other voices, but I'm wanting more somehow.
sarramaks 2008-04-29 ch 8,	abuseModel train repair guy? I half expected the woman with the trolley to blow them up for some reason. Good creation of suspense throughout that chapter. Loved the 'cacophony of sounds' from the taxis. Very nice. My favourite chapter so far.
sarramaks 2008-04-29 ch 7,	abuseStill not convince Frolich is the right perp. You capture Stella's tiredness very well. I like the weather imagery, it does suit the case and Stella's feelings, and I don't think it does verge on pathetic fallacy (for that see my Bones fic. SOme serious over doing on weather!). You use personification to good effect.
sarramaks 2008-04-29 ch 6,	abuseMore and more curious. I somehow don't think it will be as straight forward as that.
sarramaks 2008-04-29 ch 5,	abuseYou make the perp sound almost animalistic and create suc h a dark atmosphere about the room in only a few words. It works incredibly well. I have to say, Sid scares me somewhat. The humour in the section afterwards contrasts nicely with what's going on in the rooms. I really don't like Lindsay - in general I mean.
sarramaks 2008-04-29 ch 4,	abuse"It was past late, the night sky had long been a curtain at the window and no one else was in the building." Gorgeous line. I liked he eerie suspense at the end of that first section. A good ending too, with the voice - am now very curious. I enjoyed the interlude and the description of the room, the 'greasy pillow' made me cringe!

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