that was good. i've wondered what it would be like to be a kaiju. but, how do they get this way? How do they end up as humans? is that covered in another story? but still, good story.

I’m not trying to be cruel, sarcastic or snobbish but I did warn you that I would give you and honest review so with that said here is my review.

After finishing Kaiju humans 1 I can see there is a lot of work that needs to be done. First thing that you’re going to want to improve is your proofreading. I encountered many spelling and grammatical errors in this story including one particularly long run on in your epilogue. I don’t fault you too much for this since I understand how difficult grammar can be but it is important and something you want to strive for.

The second issue you need to focus on is your story telling and structure. If your target demographic was children six and under then you would probably be off to a good start but since, and I am assuming, you seem to be marketing your story for a wider audience range you really need to put some meat in your sentences. Your typical sentence structure throughout your entire story tends to resemble something like this: “Godzilla got up. Godzilla fired his ray. The ray hit Orga. It hurt.”
You need more substance to your sentences and your story, instead of “Godzilla got up.” Try something like “Godzilla lifted himself off of the ground shaking the debris off of his spines. “ You can see the difference in the detail of the two sentences.

Also from simply a story telling perspective give some real history about the characters and the setting. The most I was able to make out was that Godzilla apparently destroyed all the other monsters and now there are humans walking around that can turn into Kaiju. The story is cloudy at best, and as a reader I can’t tell if these are supposed to be humans who can transform or Kaiju that have turned into humans, let alone why all these seemingly random fights are occurring.

Another thing which tends to be one of my personal pet peeves is that you never ever talk to the audience during the story. Unless you know beyond the shadow of a doubt that it is appropriate for the type of story you are telling do not say things like “this is how I am going to refer to the characters from now on.” Or “How did this happen you may ask?” There are a few exceptions to that rule but they should only be made with experienced writers.

There are other problems with the story but I think I have picked on it enough for now. Understand that I’m not attacking you personally I’m simply showing you things that need to be improved. Don’t let this review discourage you, writing is like anything else it takes practice and hard work to get better at it, but if you apply yourself and absorb good criticism you can improve. You have an idea for a story now let’s see you build upon it,and just keep in mind that your writing a story not a summery.

Troy was acting like hellboy to me for some reason

Interesting, to be honest this is one of few of the "Kaiju turn into humans" fan fictions/fan are that is pretty good from the beginning, but out of all of them no body gave Rodan the most obvious human name, Dan Rhodes but I'm impressed as both a Godzilla fan and an aspiring writer, the only criticism I can give is that this chapter is short.

this was a great story. funny enough i'm writing a story called kaiju kids book 1 showa right now.

Hey Cool

I liked your first Kaiju series. It was veery nice.Cant stay to write more gotta read the others you wrote before I'm ejected from the comp. G.T.G.for now bye, but keep on smashing.

With a cheerful roar, Legair

not bad it was a fun read kinda short and when mecha godzilla knocked out the all the other kaiju you should have gone into more detail of them fighting but it was still pretty good also somebody already beat you to the army of zillas idea but still it looks like a good read just don't end it with godzilla using a automic pulse it was a boring idea the first time i saw godzilla fight a army of zillas and it won't change for a second try person doing it

Hm, This story is quite fun to read, characters are done well, monster fights were fun to read, a good fun story, good job. :)

Nice story dude, I particularly liked the bad guy and the full-sized Kaiju transformation. Nice stuff!

Wow! this story rulez!

Ths is really good. I really like it.

Nice chapter. This is very intersting.

Intersting story so far.

So... if you guys dont get it. It is about Troy who is Godzilla and his friends who are other kaiju. They can change any body part to any of their kaiju's body part at will and have all of theri kaiju's power even while they are in human form. They can fully change into their kaiju at will