Aw! You kept Dodge in character, but you showed his kind side, too! ^U^ Nice!

This was so sweet! Goodness, I LOVED this! Please continue soon! Emily seems like such a sad, lost, yet good soul. ^U^ *U*
Ever-so sincerely signed,
Shizuku Tsukishima749 :D ;D :) ;)

This is brilliant! Emily is a really believable oc. How old is she? Could you please write more about her life after this one-shot. Its made me really curious. Anyway, good job :)

Casa-


Good job with this fic. I am especially impressed because it is such a departure from your last fic.

Emily is a believable and sympathetic character. Here she thinks she’s found a friend and savior with ‘no ulterior motive’ and we know that she is stepping into a viper’s nest. That’s an excellent use of canon to foreshadow what is to come. Knowing the life she is about to be led into, you can’t help but feel sorry for her and her naiveté. Even though the story ends here, we all have a pretty good idea of what the rest of her life will look like and it’s not very pretty.


Your ‘mother’ is proud! ;)


pie

Hey Casa,

nice work! I haven't read OT in years, but I can see Dickens's world come to life in this fic.

Added to my favourites because I like the OC and the realistic way you have written this. My inner nitpicker respects you for taking the advice of concritters - I could find no faults here. Please write more about Emily's new life with the "familiar pickpocket" - I will definitely read it if you do.

Good luck in the Challenge! :D

There was some trouble with tenses, but I see that's already been addressed. I also a time-line issue with how she's kneading bread, and then wakes up in the thralls of hunger. I see what you did, but it threw me off a little. Now for the fun part. It was detailed, epic, and easy to envision. Your hook was amazingly executed, and I found myself caring for the poor girl and wishing her gods speed during her escape. In terms of style, your simple distinct method captures the feel of the book, and the streets of England. Good job, but I would have liked to see some more interaction with the main cast, and not just the universe.

Wow! That's an amazing oneshot! I've read one Charles Dickens book in the past and I vaguely remember it (I think it was called "Great Expectations") and this kinda strongly reminded me of the language in the book. You've also captured the scene admirably and your OC is also very likable. Great job and I wish you good luck in the challenge :)

O, let me guess, a pickpocket? Hopefully one of Fagin's? Interesting, looking forward for the next installment!! =)

Hi Bonita, I haven't read OT in 15 years or so, with that in mind, this is very decent OC/one-shot work. I followed your story beginning to end. It was real and interesting for readers not familiar with the fandom. Below are some crit comments.

Stay in the same tense in your scenes. For example:

Quote: I shake my head. No matter how hungry I was, I wouldn’t stoop that far. Or would I? My stomach is practically begging me to do it. I sigh, running my fingers through my dirty hair. Was I willing to go hungry in order to preserve my dignity?

Edit:I shake my head. No matter how hungry I am, I won’t stoop that far. Or will I? My stomach is practically begging me to do it. I sigh, running my fingers through my dirty hair. Am I willing to go hungry in order to preserve my dignity?

Edit: I don’t look back to [delete - hear] see if he’s following me

That's all I got. Good luck in the challenge.

Hey! Just commenting to everyone else that I did not realize (until after submitting my review) that this story is listed as "complete". I do not mean to mislead anyone, by my previous review, into thinking that this story will continue (even though I wish it would)!
I will use this chance, though, to again comment on how great a story I think this is and how well written it is! This author deserves a hand! *claps* Really great, even though I do think it could have more added!

YAY! First person to review (at least I think)!!
Lovely job! I'm putting this on my story alerts so when you update, I'll know for sure! Please write more! This sounds really good so far! Unique writing style! PLEASE write more! So, is this going to Dodger/Emily? Sounds like it, but I could be wrong! Lookinf forward to the update!