i love it, it's buttiful :P

Hm, its okay. No major spelling or punctuation errors that jump out at you. Though I do have a problem with her having a bankai. That along with the perfect good looks makes her a Mary Sue. I don't think you want to do that, those aren't popular. She has to have the good looks because its part of the plot, but maybe if she wasn't so good with fighting? Or kido or shunpo or something. No one likes a good looking perfect/powerful person.

It's interesting. It's nice to see Yumichika interested in a girl...and of course, she'd have to be beautiful! Good job.