This story is so good! The grammar and spelling is mostly--if not completely--correct, the writing style is actually quite good, and then there's the concept. The notion of Edward being with Sasuke...it's such a crack pairing, but you make it work perfectly and also throw in the "forbidden love" aspect on two different levels! Two! There's the guy-guy, and also the two countries not allowed to interact aspect! It's amazing.
It's a true shame you put the story on hiatus though...hopefully an idea or two will pop into your head. I mean, you could have some sort of bringing one to meet the other's friends, or you could try and have the relationship discovered and thus making them both freak out (course, that would probably bring the story to an early end). The ending you left is open, so there are so many possibilities! My suggestions are, admittedly, mediocre, but they are concepts. I hope you find your inspiration for this story once more! (Long review. I apologize *bows*)

oh plz rite more!

WHY!! this is such a fun story! and you can never find good sasu/ed fics. you must continue! your bunnies will return, have no fear! XD
-kitty

even thourgh i really though like yaoi i think this is a good story! -^^- adding it to favs. and you

Hey, okay, I KNOW this has nothing to do with your story (which I did read and loved, by the way) but I just HAVE to say this! So I read your profile, and it said that your favorite pairing (ever) would be SasuEd if they coexisted.
Well guess what?
So is mine! Like, super seriously, all my stories are pretty much SasuEd (and KakaRoy). It's all I write. I've been dying to meet someone who's into the same pairings as I am ^_^
So, if you get this, and if you want to, write me a message back. Although, if you do, I can't guarantee i'll reply the next day. I check my FFN every single day almost, because I love to write, but my email...that's a whole different story. I have messages in there from July. I swear I do.

::hugs for being stuck:: I know how that feels! If you need more help, I'm here!

Bummer, I wasn't the first to review your latest chapter.

hehehe Sasuke is so cute, drawing that circle on his wrist. ^_^

Hm... I would be angry, too, if I were Ed. I guess alchemy was supposed to be their dirty little secret. I mean, they have another secret, but ... yeah...

I'm brain dead right now. (So, I apologize for the lame review...)

Aw... Ed understands... Yay! hehe Kissy-Kissy!

If Sasuke were to tell his group about his 'friend,' they could always dress up Ed as a girl! He has the hair for it! That just came to me... I don't think Sasuke would look good dressed as a girl. He's just a tad too masculine. But, Edward... ::nods head while smiling evilly::
Oh! If that happened...
Sakura (upon meeting a fem-ified Ed): "She's even prettier than me!"
Me (reading or whatever): "If you only knew..."
You (I don't know...): "::insert random comment here::"

Kissing and crying at the same time... Wow. I've only seen that once, and only at my aniki's wedding.

Anyway, awesome chapter! I'm sorry you're stuck!!

::hugs again::

♥ ♥ ♥
Alima

HUGS FOR SASUKE!
he needs one.
lol cute chappy, update soon!
XD

please allow Naruto to have SOME freakin sense.
its so annoyin when hes a no brained monkey! gr...
lol nice chappy.
i love Sasuke paranoid, hes funny! ^_^
UPDATE SOON PLEASE!
XD

Ack! I loved this chapter. It made me laugh.

^_^

I can't wait for next week! Again, though, sorry for the lackluster editing job...

“Sa-Sasuke…that was…” Naruto started, but I rushed to him and covered his mouth. I also grabbed his wrist so he wouldn’t run. (Oh! BUSTED!)

“Yes, Sensei. Naruto changed my mind.” I said in reply. (Well, at least Naruto covered him... for now...)

Who cares? I thought cruelly. The less time she’s around me, the less time I am getting hit on. (Well, at least by her... I’m sure you don’t mind it when Ed hits on you!)

Still, it was a good doughnut. (It's a good thing Sasuke likes sweets - But, that donut sounds disgusting. Really...)

Oh no. I thought, my brain suddenly kicking in. What if she wants to lick any leftover cream off my face? Would she even do that in public? I made sure to eat the donut very carefully, not getting any cream on my face. Afterwards, I wiped my mouth very roughly on my hand. There was no way cream would stay on my face after that. If it was there, then there was no way Sakura was licking it off! That’s Ed’s job! (Yeah! Ed’s job!)

Sakura narrowed her eyes because she knew something was up. Kakashi-sensei must have been able to tell as well, but he did not say anything or give a suspicious look. (Or, maybe she's jealous because you never spend any time with her! It's always guys!)

I sighed. (I sigh, too. Who knew that Naruto could be so conniving?)

“Who?” I asked, attempting to make my face blank. However, I knew that a bit of panic showed on my face, and I blamed Edward. In fact, I not only blamed him, I cursed his very name. How dare he make me expressive! (It's called 'love' my friend. It happens to all of us, whether we want it to, or not...)

“Oh.” Naruto said. I couldn’t tell if he had put two and two together. If he had, he didn’t let on. Instead, he asked, “Do you think he could teach me?” (O.O another ‘sinner’ (more like a pariah) in the making!)

“I—I’m not sure.” I replied. (Wow, what a shocker! But, does Naruto in your story have a crush on Sasuke, too? Maybe he wants something in common with him, besides them both being guys...)

“Yeah.” I said gently, following him. In silence, we both enjoyed some ramen, all paid for by me, of course. (Of course! Buy me lunch, too, Sasu-Gay!)

♥ ♥ ♥
Alima

aw that was a cute chapter!
hehe
UPDATE ASAP PLEASE!
XD

I work hard on all your chapters! ^_^ The only reason this one seemed like so much more work was because I was also over-editing a couple of my own stories! Oh! The Father's Day Ed/Hughes one is almost done!

Yay! I'm still a helper! (I am hyper right now because I have Cinnabon! Yummy! It's like an orgasm in my mouth!)

hehehehehe Parental!Kakashi-sensei.

Again... I have to say this!
(I sighed. People were too curious about me. Why couldn’t I do what I wanted with no questions? (I swear, I must be in the company of Leafin’s greatest busybodies!) (hehehehe Sasuke would sound like such the girl if he said that :snort:))

You have two (2)'s.

As I kissed Edward, I began to speculate how odd it was, two boys kissing. Well, in the real world. In our world, the one we created in this forest, it wasn’t odd at all. It was right, and it was natural. (I completely understand this sentiment.)

Not stolen, I gave it to you. Remember, they were suggestions and edits ans stuff like that. ^_^ I use and corrupt a bunch of stuff you give me! XD

♥ ♥ ♥
Alima

aw poor Sasuke goin all emo T.T
lol cute chapter
UPDATE SOON PLEASE!
XD

Uh oh! Clingy Sakura? Keep her away!

Sasu-gay deserves the chance every so often to throw a tantrum. He's only human, you know, and he's not as strong as like to let himself believe.

"Some days, we didn’t even take a break between days. We went three days in a row without a break, excluding the nights."
(Read alone, this could be a very naughty line. ^_~)

“Oh, you know...” was quickly becoming my catch phrase.
(Sasuke has a catchphrase other than “What a loser!”? ^_^)

I noticed distinct change in my attitude; I was becoming happier.
(Sasuke, happy? Oh my.)

Still, I smiled a genuine smile. Quickly, I tried to cover it up by smirking. It didn’t work, though; he had seen me smile. (Aw...)

“GIRL!?” Sakura popped out of nowhere. “WHAT IS HER NAME??” She demanded of me, getting right in my face.
(Sakura = Possessive Bitch) (I can imagine Sakura discovering some of Ed’s beautiful (more beautiful than her own hair, in her mind at least) long blond hairs on Sasuke or his things, and completely blowing up)

“No, Sakura, there isn’t.” I thought about adding, ‘but there is a boy’, but decided against it. I didn’t need her blabbing that around.
(IT'S A BOY! A BOY! hehehe) (:dances:)

“I’ll see you tomorrow, maybe.” I said, even though I knew this was a lie. Tomorrow, I’d be training with Edward.
(It’s not that much of a lie. He does say ‘maybe,’ which leaves it open for him to not show up.)

♥ ♥ ♥
Alima

Poor Ed. His ego got the best of him! But, it's true, at his landings ARE getting better.

Ed is so stubborn! He'll definitely learn anything he wants. I'm sure he could even learn the Fireball-jutsu is he really tried. Of course, he might turn out like Izumi, and the strain would cause him to spit up blood. That would suck. It sounds painful, too.

I like Sasu-Gay's teaching style. It really wouldn't work well anywhere else, though. And, not with anyone else. Well, maybe Naruto, but that's neither here nor there.

Hurray! He finally learned! Sort of.

Again, there's that male ego/pride thing. Hurray for pissing contests, right?

. . . Right?

I can't wait for next week's chapter!

(You really do need help remembering to post, don't you? ^_~)

♥ ♥ ♥

Alima

aw. poor Naruto. he must be lonely.
cute chapter!
UPDATE SOON!
XD