Well, hey, that's really good for your first fanfiction ever! I would have to agree with you, though, it is a tad short. ;) But still, awesome.

BAH! I love it! (check your messages, I left one, haha) But yes, this is really good, you got some skills girl. I'm big on warriors as well. haven't gotten to read the latest even though I own it. I'm too sucked into "The Host" right now.

That was very, very good!
The only thing I have to say, is you misspelled 'barotone', and a bit of the punctuation and what-not is off, but it was great. Also, why would a kit that young make such a big decision?
But I loved it and I think it's very good. I wondered about Rock.

~Wings~