Reviews for 16 again - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: 16 again - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

shinji the good sharer 2008-05-15 ch 2,	abuseMoar! With sauce! Anyways, i look forward to seeing what you come up with. I've been waiting for you to start writing again since your stories are always nuts. I was wondering though, what's the pairing going to be? Will Genma finally die? ikari shinji
Sargon Dorsai 2008-03-03 ch 2,	abuseQuite the interesting story you've got going here. It's a little hard to read at some points, thought that's mostly the way the sentences or paragraphs are structured. When you're having different viewpoints in the same paragraph, it takes a momen tto figure out who is doing what. As for the story itself, it seems interesting enough. The premise of Nodoka getting younger has always been interesting, especially with her heading back to school. It will add to the chaos among the girls trying to get Ranma. I just really hope you don't have her interested in Ryoga. shudder Just so wrong.
BlazeStryker 2008-03-03 ch 2,	abuseI can see Ryouga seeking the mushrooms to split off P-chan, at a fully mature age, and trained to be a defender of Akane (or Akari, as she does like pigs a lot and would thus literally have something of Ryouga when he's lost again).
gaul1 2008-03-02 ch 2,	abuseinteresting start, nice role reversal, byes
Tuisto 2008-03-02 ch 2,	abuseWell... this is certainly... different. Nodoka being de-aged, quite interesting, though I don't particularly care for the reactions, or should I say lack of reactions, from the Nerima gang so far. Plus the fact Nodoka is far, far, far too calm about this, while more-or-less hitting on her own son, who by-rights should be T'O'd beyond all reason. Then there's the glitch on the plot that was pointed out in a review, that if Genma married -into- the Saotome's, why is Nodoka givingn him the honour sword? Last two points, several times the names aren't capitalized, and it seems like you've been reading a thesaurus, as it's all just so very verbose in even the minuscule detail.
Domonor 2008-03-02 ch 2,	abuseSorry if it seemed I know how you think and/or how this story would turn out but as I said before I have quite a lot of your fanfiction (although it has been awhile sense I have read one of your stories.) I also said we will never know till you write it. (I don't mean to sound nasty, insult you, or act like I'm above everything I just wanted to clear this up in case you were referring to me in the AN, and if you were no hard feelings :). ) now to the review. I like how the story is progressing and can see few spelling errors (but then, I don't know squat about grammar hahahahahaha.) and how you write the paragraphs is fine, so what if you don't separate them when a new person talks it's your writing style, and I have seen quiet a few authors write like it. although it may confuse some people. Altogether very good story. Good luck and hope you get the reviews you wanted.
spedclass 2008-03-02 ch 2,	abuseAwesome chapter keep up the good work and update soon!
Wharpt 2008-03-02 ch 2,	abuseIf Genma took on the Saotome name after marraige, why is Nodoka giving him the Saotome Honor Blade? I think it would be more proper to announce the annulment and give the blade to the Saotome male, Ranma. Which old man is Ranma grabbing; Genma or Happosai? He calls both of them that. Normal practice is to start a new paragraph with the changing of speech between two or more characters, so Ranma's "SPEAK!" and the line after it should be a seperate paragraph, as well as the following lines from Happosai. You have several other paragraphs in the chapter which should also be broken up. Don't forget: Proper names such as Nodoka and Tendo should be capitalised. Always knew Ryouga was a Neanderthal. 'me (and Ranma) understand'. Ya might try 'Ranma and I understand'. I want to say that Ranma, being 16 and by Chapter 4 of the manga, is a first year student at Furinkan High, so Nodoka would be looking at two more years of school with him and Akane. By the way, where is Akane?
Dumbledork 2008-03-02 ch 2,	abuseHeh. Great chapter.
ranma hibiki 2008-03-02 ch 2,	abuseryoga is being cool about all of this. maybe he got a symbiot or is an alien!! (or just never uses manners before) things seem to be a bit calm for now which is even more scary then there being chaos, since around ranma silence just means a really REALLY big bang of chaos building up...FUN!
Wonderbee31 2008-03-02 ch 2,	abuseNeat, and looks like Nodoka is adjusting well for right now, going to be interesting to see her meet Kuno, and Nabiki's blackmail attempts.
GingitsuneRaposo 2008-03-02 ch 1,	abusegreat story keep it up
Campin' Carl 2008-03-02 ch 1,	abuseWhy would she have to go to school again, exactly? High school is optional in Japan. Also, as amazing as weird as this may be, deaging Nodoka is old. Very old. Not the Cologne for Teen s old mentioned, but older. I've seen it at least three times. Oh, you're second sentence is a run on. I was hoping to read through the actual chapter before giving advice on how to improve, but a run on of that magnitude shuts off my will to read.
Maximara 2008-03-01 ch 1,	abuseReminds me of the fanfic "Cologne for Teens" where Ranma offers one of the mushrooms to Cologne to drop the whole Kiss of Marriage thing. Later Happosai gets his hands on the mushrooms and Nodoka becomes younger as well.
moritynz 2008-03-01 ch 1,	abuseIt's all rather stiff and formal but it has good story potential, keep it up.

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