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| Yugi the Other White Meat 2008-05-04 ch 1, | abuseHey there! ^_^ I loved the imagery of Kent musing before a crackling fire. Very nice. And you're right about it not being very romantic, which I can appreciate a lot. ^_^ As I get older, I'm finding that I don't care for fluff much anymore. Genfic is what I love. You showed Lyn's personality well in this. Good job! |
| FireEdge 2008-04-08 ch 1, | abuseYou've just been writing all sorts of stories recently (as in the last month, but going by how I keep track of time, it's recent >_>). I must say that I'm almost surprised that I haven't stumbled across something that would make me cry yet XD. I didn't really catch any awkward sentences, so I'm afraid that I can't help you with that. I mean, I could reread it, but there are so many stories I have to catch up on! Sorry! Still, I didn't have to pause once to reread something, so by my standards, it's all good! >_> But yeah, stories with no point are great. As long as they're well-written and is legible, it's fine! I don't have much to say at the moment, so I must apologize for my mostly useless reviews today! XD |
| IceBlade28 2008-03-12 ch 1, | abuseWhat was your point in writing this? To shed greater light and humanity on the pixelated soul we know as the Crimson Shield. Why else do we write GOOD fanfiction? This was definitely introspective, and it was great. An enjoyable read. |
| Wyrmseeker 2008-03-05 ch 1, | abuseI definitely like this one better than the other one you just uploaded. Like many of your drabbles that I've read (all two of them), it's a nice look at some often-forgotten facets of a character... but what makes this one nice is that it's through the eyes of someone else. We get a feeling for both Kent and Lyn through this, which really makes their synergy much more believable. Also, I can see why you labeled this friendship; it may be Kent thinking about Lyn, but he's just thinking, not fantasizing or longing or anything like that. My only minor commen is a small inconsistency: you say (or at least imply) that Kent took Hausen's order without a second thought, then say that he thought he wasn't the right man for the job. But when I say minor, I mean minor. I know I say all your fics are "nice" and "pleasant" and such, but this one goes even further. It's really exceptional, definitely beyond the others I've read, and I hope to see more like it. |
| Absol Master 2008-03-04 ch 1, | abuseYep! I've got time to review! Canas: Great job with this story. Though it's only listing the series of events in the game, it's got something different that makes it a very interesting story (I did not speed-read it!) Erk: No errors, as usual. I do not see any problems with the words you used. So if you think there's a problem, it's probably not noticeable by others. Raven : Let's see...You should write about other characters, not just Lyn, Sain and Kent. Reading about the same people over and over is just...a bit boring. Lucius: But all your stories are good! I mean it! I was so touched... Marcus: It was a good, meaningful story. It's not anything out of the ordinary, no romance or tragedy, or anything like that... but it's still very good, in its own special way. Oswin: That's it! Keep up your writing! Kent: Well, yes...Lady Lyndis doesn't exactly look like a ruler... But I know she will do well. Lyn: Really? Well, thank you! Wil: Look! A ballista! |
| Sardonic Kender Smile 2008-03-04 ch 1, | abuseAha! There you go again, pumping out one-shots...*sigh*. I wish I could do that, but every idea I get evolves into some flippin' epic novel and then I never have the time or willpower to write it down... Anyways, this was another enjoyable fic of yours. You really are a good writer, I wish you would have a bit more confidence in yourself. As you said, there are a few things that would be awkward, but only a few. Like how you used the phrase "under the belt" a couple of times instead of just once (not that it's too big a deal)...oh, and that sentence about Lyn being a good sport when Mark and Sain tell jokes was a bit long. Instead of using a semi-colon, I would use two seperate sentences...or just reword the second part into something like ";that is, until he looked up and saw the very un-masculine face and figure of Lyndis, which would snap him back into reality as...". Oh, that's another thing...wouldn't it have been a little more lucid to just say "feminine" instead of "un-masculine", even if you were doing as I suspected and emphasizing that Lyn was not "one of the guys"? Anyways, enough of that. It really was a good portrayal of what Kent probably thought after finding Lyn. Keep writing! |
| Edward Houshi 2008-03-04 ch 1, | abuseVery introspective, and very good. It was entirely in-character, but I can't see Kent ever describing Lyndis as "High spirited". Maybe that's just me though. It was pointless, but introspective fics don't have to have a point. That's why they're so fun! |
| Tempest Kiro 2008-03-04 ch 1, | abuseThumbs up thumbs up! I love how you portrayed Kent's thoughts! Not at all OoC! I love your story~! Keep it up for Kent fans everywhere! |
| JonWain098 2008-03-03 ch 1, | abuseHm...I liked it. For a story you wrote merely on a whim, it was nicely done and very descriptive. It helps you get not only into the mind of Kent a bit more, but lets you see what he thinks of Lyn. I always enjoy reading your stories, and this one is no exception. |