It was very nice of you to publish your sister’s stories for her. That being said, I have some constructive criticism for her that I hope will help her hone her skills as a writer. First off, I would recommend that she doesn’t write her title in all caps. It looks puerile on the page. The underline that the website does is enough to tell us it’s the title. We also don’t need the exclamation points after the title or the chapter one. An exclamation point is too emotional for the situation, and it looks as if the person writing it is on sugar-high, and, thus, shouldn’t be taken seriously.

She also had tense issues that I would advise her to fix. Stories need to be told in one tense, not a blend of the past and present. She has to pick one and stick with it. (In dialogue, the tense can change though.)

I would also like to point out that numbers under one hundred are conventionally written out in English. It just looks better, so I would suggest that she change that.

Finally, I would like to suggest that she make her chapters a little longer. A few paragraphs isn’t really enough to stand alone as a chapter.

Apart from that, it was a good exposition, and I hope that she keeps writing. She can only improve, after all.

Hey my name is madison reynolds(a.k.a sinamon ohieme bloo lagard quee cauzo) mouthful anyway this is a AWESOME! story love it nothing real urgent anyway see ya! mo!