This is lovely. I like the logical thought progression of "Ryan hates Troy. Why does Ryan hate Troy? Troy spends so much time with Chad... oh." And I love all your little details - Ryan's spare hats, and the ducks, and the purple yoga mat. They really bring the story to life. I could visualize Chad looking up to the stands and searching for Ryan at the end so clearly. You should continue this!

I really like this! Especially the way that Ryan imagines himself on the yoga mat and how he does his breathing and stuff. It's really... I can just picture it while everyone else is just around him cheering for the team. XDXD And the shocker of that buzzer! But really, this was a really great piece. ^.^ Please type more like this soon! ^.^

This is really great! I like it and I think you 'toed the line' really nicely and ended up with an interesting perspective on a friendship that will last. You came up with a believable characterization that flows well! congratulations
-lovelotr

You carefully sidestep slash by carefully (intentionally?) inserting the lines ‘I’m not gay’, and ‘I’ll find a girl’.

But ~ that only makes me wonder that much more … especially since this is first person POV, all we’re getting is Ryan’s perspectives of how things are (Which, to offer a compliment, you did marvelously. As a character sketch you definitely made some good strides in molding Ryan from a stereotype into an actual person). But that bias makes me wonder …

How does Chad feel? Because from my reading (which is, granted, biased … due to the fact that I adore slash) Chad’s paying Ryan extra special attention. Ryan /assumes/ that this special attention is platonic based … but is it? And are his feelings really as simple as friendship oriented (… he’s exuding a lot … a LOT … of jealousy over Chad’s time. And seemed to let his hat go without the expected kicking and screaming one might expect). Furthermore, as written I can’t tell if the ‘I’m not gay’ is simply self-denial or if it’s simple stated fact.

In short? I like your fic. But I detest your ambiguity.

I also feel that the ambiguity weakens your story immensely. Because either side would be so much more powerful.

If it is a slash story … which it honestly sounds like it is until the protagonist says it isn’t … I would want to see more. More little details, more fragments of ‘what I want’ vs ‘what I get’, and definitely I want a stronger verbal/behavioral reaction to/against Chad’s other friends (I’d ask for more details to empower the elements here to offer us a real world glimpse into what Ryan wants from Chad … and on the other end of the token, what Chad wants from Ryan … ~ IE – why would a straight boy push that hard to get an acquaintance to come and watch him play basketball? As written I don’t feel there’s enough evidence to support why Chad has decided to all buddy-touchy-feely-buddy with Ryan … someone who in the first movie he very vocally detested).

If, on the other hand, you want this to be friendshipping, you need to spin your fic slightly differently. I like the idea (and find it cute even) the metaphor you keep driving home … the lesson of ‘that look’. How’s it possible to love someone without being IN love with them (friends love each other … just not romantically). But you need to seriously watch your word choices then, and have to recast the way Ryan is looking at his and Chad’s ‘relationship’ (… I’m sorry. If you pull out about three sentences from your fic, its slash. Honestly, the way it reads it seems like there’s more there then simple platonic intentions. If you want to sell the idea that friendship is love and that these two are just friends … you need to do it in a way that sells friendship more then love … because what I’m getting from this fic as is love more then friendship … which I think means some serious editing).

*Stretches* and I’m NOT simply picking on this because I want Ryan with Chad (personally I’m much more a fan of Troy/Chad anyway). I keep harping on these issues because for a fic that’s meant to be friendshipping, it has way to much of a slasherific feel to it. And as a reader that bothers me.

YOU tell ME what YOUR fic means (as I take slight offense to the author’s note that says it can be either). If its friendshipping that’s cool (a die hard fan girl can morph a heterosexual relationship into slash … so if they want to view your fic as slash … well then, honestly, it would be hard to convince them otherwise). Make Ryan focus more on wanting to get to know/play sports with Chad. A friendship made on sarcastic quips and occasional outings because they really have very little in common. ~ If its supposed to be slash, then don’t be afraid to make Ryan gay (even if its self-denial/closeted gay). Where wanting to spend time with Chad is vitally important, even if he doesn’t quite understand why.

*grins* Long story short? I like your fic (I really did). But I detest its ambiguity, and would rather you chose/write the fic as either romance related, or simple friendship oriented … because is it seems a mash of both … which leaves me with a lot of unanswered questions, and very little resolution once I reach the end.

*tilts head* Well … hope that helps.

~Shiva’s Avatar~

This was very well-written. It was easy to read and even enjoyable.
I personally need for Ryan to be more defined. It might just be that I see Ryan as gay, but I always feel the need for him to define his sexuality. It seems like a very big part of his character be he straight or gay.
Also, truthfully, I can't see Chad coming to depend on Ryan this way if they are only friends. Chad has many friends and while I can see him being friends with Ryan, I cannot see him looking for Ryan before he looks for Taylor. It doesn't feel real to me.
It's probably just personal preference that has me a little put off, so feel free to ignore it.
Overall, though, all that set aside, very nice work.

I like this. It’s definitely teetering on the line of preslash up until the breathing part and after that it's back to the friendship scene. And that doesn't include the mentions of him being straight. It's really good. The message is worthwhile an shows a nice a take on their relationship. Great job!

That was great loved every thing, so sweet...n thanks 4 writing it I've been waiting all day for some new WELL WRITTEN chyan!