I like how you put Link as the Hyrule eqivilent of Pheonix Wright-Lineback is most definatly Detective Gumshoe! ha ha!

I love this story!! It's just like Pheonix Wright-only Link is Pheonix!!

Personally, I think you made Link either too trusting in this case, or you really have no idea how lawyers do their work when interrogating their clinets. While I can overlook the "take your client to lunch" thing, I can't help but say that interrogation was rather weak. Link himself should have NEVER revealed his sources that early in the game. Please remember that he's still trying to build a case, so even if he's suspecting Marin of lying to him, he should have been more subtle. Showing her the receipt that early on and even telling her that he visited Zelda's grave is not only an unusual move, it may jeopardize the entire case and even make her more reclusive. He should have played his hand better.

As for the shower scene with Ganondorf showing up, you made several notable flaws that made it less enjoyable. You had Link "lathered himself thoroughly, starting with his arms and working his arms." This is a very repetitive phrase, as you used the word "arms" twice in not just the same sentence, but in the same PART of the same sentence. Likewise, when you had Link washing his "muscles" why not describe a bit more? You said he was athletically built, but I'm having some trouble envisioning that here. Lastly, when Ganondorf was having his coffee (next to a half-naked Link), you never really developed the "tension" between the two. Other than a simple "eyebrow raised in amusement" or "face twisted in anger" you need to add an extra level to that. What else were they doing? What were their postures? When Ganondorf was laughing in Link's face, was it a taunting laugh or what? Show us a bit more, and we can picture it better.

So while you have some good ideas, and you certianly get an A for creativity in pulling off the twist, the execution of the sequence of events is only so-so, and I'll only give you a C. I know you'll probably not respond to this review, since you haven't responded to ANY of my reviews, but I still want you to keep this in mind in your future writing.

Alright. First, you have the same problem here as you did in the lsat chapter: your description was so-so at best. When you were in the cafeteria, other than a simple "there's light over here, there are tables over there" what else can you envision? How else could you have made the scene interesting? Again, adding those factors in will make the suspense just that much more interesting, but it seems like you've neglected it here.

Secondly, for a detective, Bellum seems to be either incompetent, or he's hiding something. There is NO WAY a police officer will be that casual in collecting evidence. Saying that something doesn't seem important in a crime scene is totally unacceptable because police officers are trained to treat everything as crucial information. Once something is eliminated as evidence, THEN they can discard them. For Bellum to hand over that receipt to Link, knowing that he's a defence attourney, he might as well have compromised the crime scene. This is NOT how things should have been done, and I'm not happy that you chose this route. I think you should have done some background research there first.

So overall, I'm not too impressed with this chapter. Too many logical inconsistencies and not enough description. I truly expected a bit more from you then this, but I'll reserve full judgment until the very end.

You're right, this is very short. But I enjoyed the twist nonetheless. Marin seems to have something hidden, and I can only hope it won't affect the outcome of the case.

Although for that scene, I would have recommended that you describe the surroundings a little. For example, except for the security guard, I have trouble seeing what the room is like at the time. Was it bright? Dark? Except for the guard how many people are around? YOu need to go into more detail here, and add an extra level onto your story other than beating on the facts. In most mystery stories, this is useful as it can "hide evidence in plain sight" and keeping it suspenseful.

I know it's a bit late to edit now, but try keeping this in mind in the future, ok?

Now that's a twist. Zelda knowing something no one else does, and Kafei has a record against Ganondorf. Again, I really have doubts about whether one can actually jump up in the middle of a courtroom and start making accusations like that, so I have to say I have reservations about that scene.

As for character traits and mood, I think they're well done. I would think that Zelda should have made the history situation clearer earlier on, as most lawyers do usually ask if the decceased has any "enemies" per se. And the ending with Link finding out about Zelda's death and the shame he felt throughout the years was pretty realistic too. I probably would have made him reflect upon it further, but that's just me.

Good way to end the first case. Now I just have to look at the present case and read on.

The scene at the courtroom is still not very realistic, as I still see way too many people speaking out of turn. Some advice, please note that a courtroom is where formal proceedings occur. To have a shouting match between Ganondorf and Link is not just unrealistic, it virtually cannot happen.

Other than that, I look forward to hearing Zelda's testimony. Despite my reservations regarding your court proceedings, I actually want to see what Zelda has to say, so I'll give you some comments after reading the next chapter.

Pretty exciting scene for the first court case. Although I must say, it was rowdier than I expected. And Auru doesn't seem to be a very competent judge. I'm not sure what law program you base this off of, but in real life judges should be able to keep order WAY better than that, so I'm a little surprised at how intimidated he seemed. Remember that most judges used to be lawyers themselves, so why would they get intimidated that easily?

And there were a couple of technical errors as well. You had Link's argument on the crowd described as "without merit" and the "objection sustained." To say something is without merit means it is not making sense. So in this case, you should say his argument is "WITH merit" instead. Also, a witness should only be dismissed if there are "no further questions" from the lawyers. Given that she just got removed after she was caught in her own web (and it is Ganondorf who told her to stop talking), it should be the judge who asks the lawyers if they have anything else to ask. If Link and Ganondorf say no, THEN the witness can be dismissed. Otherwise, they must remain on the stand and continue answering questions (which I'm sure Link has a LOT of given the way he poked so many holes into her cover story).

Otherwise, great chapter, great first case. Just the technical bits gave me trouble, but overall I quite like it.

To be honest, I kind of forgot about you for a little while. My life has been so busy that I haven't gotten a chance to return to reading your fics. But here I am again, taking a look at what you offered.

First of all, I'm going to be honet with you. I'm actually VERY interested in franchises of the ancient past (like Zelda) being taken into the modern day. I'm also very much a mystery, suspense, crime fan. Add to the fact that I want to be a lawyer myself, this actually is a fic right up my alley.

My impression of the introduction is that it is postive. I really like what you did with the past meshing with the present. The "Marin Tarin" entry into the classroom was a bit cliched, given that it kind of forces onto the spot, but I thought you justified it well with the "court case" thing. I really want to know what Link's thinking about with the past case in mind, and how much it haunts him, so I guess I'll have to read on to know.

Looks to be another good fic, and I can't wait to read more.

I LOVED THIS FIC! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! WOOT!

swEEt. i love your stories, ive read more than half of them, really! 'Sir,' you've got a good taste in story plots. ;D

this is such a good story!! one chapter and im addicted :)

YAY Link shirtless! =D
Awesome chapter, it's one of my favorites too.

Aha. So it WAS Ganondorf.
I was thinking Ganondorf poisoned her or something, but obviously not.
Awesome chapter by the way.
:D

Hm.
My guess is Ganondorf.
Either it isn't and I sound completely stupid or it is and I sound completely stupid anyway :D