Hi
I liked this chapter too.

Can't wait to see what happens next. I hope that Jarod finds out about her and rescues her.

Didn't realize that you actually wanted help with a title. Since you know where you want the story to go perhaps a title along that line...of if there is a lesson to be learned a moral to the story a title dealing with that.

I like going to quotes or song titles or lyrics that match what the story is about.
Since it's about a child, perhaps part of a nursery rhyme. Maybe one the little girl tells herself like Jarod used to sing the cree crawl song to himself.

Contact me through the messaging on this site if you would like to talk more.

Your description of the entire process is frighteningly clear from the child's view point. The description is done nearly to perfection. It's hard to find the line of too much description, too wordy and not enough description to get the reader involved.

I think you hit it right on the money.

The dialog is well placed and helps to advance the story.

Good job... although the story so far is enough to give me nightmares!

Hi
Just read your story can't wait to read the next chapter.

I love this story! I like how you have the little girl's narrative and having it in her point of view. About the title, your the writer so you would be the best person to give the title cause you know where its going. Maybe, 'The New Project' or 'The next Generation', 'Little Pretender'(assuming she is a pretender), 'Lost on SL-27', ect. Those are just a few I can think of at the time.

I think this is a great start. I enjoyed the parodox of our kidnappers, one with a concious, and the other without. It was very 'real' and detailed.

I am curious as to where you will take this!