Excellent! A very original story about my favorite characters with all the tricks and twists a pirate movie should have. Nice work!

Stunning. What more is there to say?

I luvv this story! :)

crazy

lol its kkool whats the stroys name and url so i can read it

"At this point, it appears to be a murder, as an autopsy shows that he was poisoned. It is unclear as to who his murderer was, and police are investigating the case-"

Is there a way to make this more official sounding? "Initial investigations have concluded that Mr. Norrington was murdered. Trace amounts of the neurotoxin ricin were discovered during autopsy, the poison made infamous by USSR assassinations during the Cold War...police are working with Her Majesty's Secret Service and INTERPOL to determine if the officer in question had any affiliations with terrorist or other extra-gubernatorial organizations-"

His work with Beckett would lead us to believe he is high up and has good security clearance. More likely than not, his death would be considered as a national security breach, not just another dead cop.

I have to tell you I loved the dynamic between Elizabeth and Jack in this chapter. We see a hint of remorse from Jack for all that he has put her through-and all that he is about to ask her to do. It was very noble of Elizabeth to, well, not forgive, but be able to look beyond this difference. It was good to see this more profound dynamic between them.

Your Beckett is pretty evil and icky. I just wish we had some more motivation for why he would want to become head of Blackwood. What possible benefits are there for being a crime boss? So far we've heard very little about Blackwood. We know Jack is a leader, WIll a strategist, and Marty and (hopfully Pintel and Ragetti!) are with them, but we don't know much else. Are they only one small segment of Blackwood?

I don't know if it would be possible, but it would almost make more sense to change Blackwood's operations from hard drugs to munitions. Buying and selling military grade arms to developing countries would in fact be HIGHLY illegal, highly classified, much more dangerous and much, much more profitable. This sort of political power and influence would be much more worthy of giving up a career in INTERPOL or wherever Beckett works. As a former agent, he would also know considerable amounts about their activities and locales through satellite imagery, etc.

"This is all so sweet, but I'm diabetic." I loved this line! Jack's irreverence and sarcasm (I'll tell him to give up already) are consistently brilliant. I only wish we could see a little more of his thoughts when he walked in on Will and Elizabeth. Is he surprised? Irritated? What is his initial reaction?

Again, there's a lot of generic 'gun' floating around the end of this chapter. I love how the action begins so suddenly, especially right as Jack and Will finish gloating about how uncatchable they are. I would like to see what sort of gun each is holding-the men are running, so probably using assault rifles, in which case smaller pistols would do little against. You can definitely heighten the drama of this scene by upping the stakes.

Query: why does Elizabeth knock the guy out instead of shoot him? It seems unrealistic in light of the suddenness of the attack. Her adrenaline would be pumping, and rational thought would be the last thing on her mind.

I loved the ending, again another cliff hanger, but I didn't know if you could change the last sentence. 'Reeling in the pain that comes with being shot' is a weak line. Perhaps instead, since we focus on Elizabeth whirling around, show us her reaction to Will staggering back or the sight of his blood. I think an indirect focus on Will through her emotions would actually create more suspense and horror.

Cheers!

Alright-I cheated (pirate!). I read ahead and now I'm coming back to leave reviews. This is a seriously good story and I just HAD to know what would happen next.

Gack! Love the ending to this chapter. For a brief second we see Will's internal struggle, his tender, gentler side...followed immediately by Barbossa's plans to target him. Serious evilness right there, my friend. But it heightens the suspense! You've got a great knack for cliffhangers-us ff. net junkies have to keep coming back for more!

It was really great getting an in depth character study on Jack! Seeing his guilt, his faults, and his desire for revenge helped paint him in a much more real light. Similar to Will's reflections on whether he had become as despicable as Elizabeth found him, this scene helped us resonance more with them as individuals. If you can, I would love to see you add this much depth and detail to every character much earlier in this story! This would give us a much better feel for what each is thinking and feeling.

For example, your Will borders on sweet and protective, but can also be a bit of a flirt and well, an ** when it comes to Elizabeth. A closer POV to his thoughts at the moment, or reflections afterwards would tell us if he is just teasing, seriously flirting, just trying to lift her spirits or is secretly wishing her sarcasm and banter were true and not feigned. We've seen a lot about Elizabeth's feelings and frustration towards him. A little balance from Will's side would help keep their relationship in perspective.

Whoops. So much for Jack's brilliant Lt. keeping the police away! Next time, use a different passport. We get a hint of how distracted both he and Jack were when leaving England if both forgot to get her a fake. As far as a car chase scene, the driving under a semi truck trick completely rocks! I love the little hint of humor you add:

"Um," he paused. "If this doesn't work, it was nice knowing you."

All I can think of right now is the scene in Casino Royale where James holds Vesper after she watched him kill a man. The ending to this chapter is equally as poignant and powerful.

I have one suggestion: give us more information on the guns. You have a lot of generic 'gun' thrown in the action sequence of this chapter. Giving info on make and model will allow you to throw in some realism while at the same time allowing you to break up the monotony with synonyms.

Will has always had a bit of the 'protective older brother' feel about him. It was good to see it here in your fic.

I just have one question: were Elizabeth and James and item? Her thoughts of James are so painful that it seems there might be more behind their relationship than 'I worked with your brother'. If you are hinting at this more romantic involvement, a little more obviousness might be necessary to enforce this point.

Again, it is interesting to see her dynamic with Will. I would only say to be careful because she's treading on Mary Sue 'suddenly in love' syndrome. A little more depth about her relationship with Jason and James might give us more reason to believe this sudden romantic interest. Are Will's eyes the same color and shape as Jason's? Do his mannerisms remind her of her brother-is that why she feels she can trust him? Is she afraid perhaps that he is only protecting her out of self-interest, hoping to get...something in return? As far as James (if they were involved or had been involved at one point) perhaps mention that she feels Will is warm and open towards her-something James is/has never been. Remember, subtly and slowly are the key to developing a believable romance.

A most inopportune moment, I see.

The contrast between Will's warmth and coldness in this chapter is especially powerful. For a moment he is a completely different person-and my heart nearly stopped. But the ending is just poignant...the real Will is the quiet, downtrodden boy with his hands stuffed awkwardly in his sweatshirt. She has assumed to this point that Will is a hardened Killer just like Jack...but the gun was unloaded the entire time. Perhaps a hint of Will's bitterness in 'you'll find you can't leave' might stem from his own forced membership in Blackwood?

Well, if I'd stop reviewing I could read the next chapter and find out! I'm off!

Poor Elizabeth! Stuck on a day long flight to Who Knows, Nowhere and NOW of all times she's falling in love. That would be frustrating. But I love the trusting, innocent dynamic she picks up from Will almost immediately. Even working for Blackwood, he still seems like the same meek, gentle man. A little background on Elizabeth would be nice as well. We see her grit and determination-and now a little bit of regret for acting so irrationally-but we don't see a concrete reason to believe why the girl who just collapsed on her couch would or could take up the role she is now playing. Has she ever done any police or PI work herself? Or are these all skills she has learned from her deceased brother? Either way, a few flashbacks would greatly establish more of her character, and perhaps give you to opportunity to interrupt them with her noticing Will-hence more of her frustration.

I can't tell you how much I loved seeing Beckett in this chapter! His own past ties with the gang will be intriguing to see, and the reference to 'what mark did he leave on you' was an excellent find. I would almost change the 'I've' to I have. I think the lack of contractions is more consistent with Beckett's cold, formal persona.

Again, a little more realism with the police dynamic. For instance, 'several of our agents...different areas of the world where we believe they might be' is very vague. Instead, would several of our agents are in contact with local government officials in (name countries or cities often associated with drug production or smuggling), where they have been sighted before or where we have reason to suspect they might be.

I thoroughly enjoy waiting and finding what elements from Pirates you've kept in this story. Will's icy blue eyes were a tie to Bootstrap, Jack's crazy-weird hairstyle is still kickin', and Jack and Beckett have both left their marks (I'm even suspicious-is Blackwood a link to Black Pearl?) on the other.