Continue the script! Pleeeeeeeeease!

AWESOME!

this wuz great. you are the kind of people who make Fanfiction a Great site. keep writing.

Very funy, I can't stop laughin.

hey dude great story and i can tell you worked hard on it.. only a few things i want to say, as a film producer and editor.

first and foremost, the plot is flat and is actually rather short. i'll diagram the excitement levels for you:

_

_/-/-/ _

_

as you can see, at the end it's like "So where's the action? what's funny?" um, nothing except mild amusement that the plan worked. it'd be better if there was suspense involved. say, his mom caught him sneaking out at night and followed him, then confronted him as soon as the deed was done, but she acts like she doesnt know whats going on and sends him to bed. calvin is elated but then after he's asleep his mom 'hypnotizes' calvin in retaliation, to the tune of 'i will do my chores, i love my parents, i'm not greedy' and then the roles are switched. i.e. calvin wants to stay home and read the paper while the dad is jumping up and down, ready to go on an adventure. resolving that kind of plot would be more interesting.

also, on a technical note, cameras do not pan in sitcoms. watch 'guiding light' or 'days of our lives' for a few minutes, and you will find that its all cuts except for the rare pan during an opening shot, such as coming into a room.

ttyl

I acctually think this was pretty good and it didnt have too many grammar mistakes.

cool

good Calvin/Halvin imitation; write a sequal (in Las Vegas).