Hey just wanted to say that I love your story, and that I hope you continue to write.

Lawrence, hey man, long time no hear from my end. Got busy with mid-terms and GTA IV on my 360. Excellent work; love seeing both Claude and 8-ball mixing it up again in Liberty City. Keep up the great work, keep on writing!

the story's going great. The main plot is finally being revealed and has gotten more exciting. Although that twist with the woman was a clever surprise, the shifting of scenes was kinda quick to me. Still, great job here. Be waiting for the next one.

at the start, the dialogue seemed kinda off, but it's gotten better since then. And really entertaining; that sushi rib had me laughing. The plot is very reasonable and has a possibility to it, what with the don and his urges can't be helped. All in all, the story is very interseting. Hope to read more.

I like the way you flesh out the characters and create the drama between them. Great use of conflict; both the personal and the violent kind. Keep on writing!

Nice set-up. The dialogue was crisp and you can feel the tension between the characters. I know people usually have short attention spans when it comes to reading fanfiction but it shouldn't deter an author like you from writing great stories. Keep up the good work!